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Story-retelling: Make up your best stories. Again, and again, and again.
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| Lira |
Meat's parody of Avana's girlfriend account of how she was harassed by the pizza deliverer - as told by the delivery guy - was pure gold, and it gave me an idea for a fun thread: Make up a random story, and tell it from the perspective of someone else involved in it. Feel free to continue the story. New versions may, of course, add more people, so we can keep the game going.
I'm going to tell a story about one of my favourite TA's:| quote: | "I've just arrived in this exotic country to see my brother. It's my first time ever abroad, and everything looks so different! Everyone else's got hair for one, but that's not different from my parents' house in Cascadia. This is the proof that my socialist utopia for the world works: everything is so community driven, nobody is selfish and there are robots everywhere selling fizzy drinks. The women look sort of funny, but I'm not really into them. Unless, of course, one of them is into me. It's been a while someone kissed me... when was it? Oh, that's right, when Reagen kissed my forehead back when I was a baby. Since them, I've been avoiding any sort of physical contact, lest another Republican touches me. What's up with those guys anyway? They want to arm themselves to their teeth and want to wage wars against the whole world with an ever more powerful army, which can of course turn against them. So they have to protect themselves even more and, last thing you know, we'd all be living in basements, making combat simulators (gotta be prepared!) and hiding from the outside world - now, how sad a life would that be?! Back to the main point - I'd let a girl kiss me if she isn't a Republican. On second thought, Megyn Kelly is kind of hot and she looks Nordic... scrap that - I'd let a girl kiss me if she isn't a guy! But, Avana looks quite cute nowad--
Wait, I think I just heard something.
How could that be? I'm alone in this hotel room. Maybe my parents are coming with my brother already but I really need to take my weekly shower first! What if my brother's girlfriend shows up with her friends? They don't really look attractive but they aren't Republican, so I'm game! Let me hop in the--
Wait, I think I heard something again.
Sure, I'm naked but if I just take a peek through the keyhole, I can see if there's someone knocking on the door of this hotel room. Let me -- oh, silly me -- doors open with cards here, there's no keyhole! Well, maybe if I open the door and take a peak.
Hmm... let's see, there's no on--
"Gaaaaaaah!"
I heard someone scream inside my room and jumped outside. What can I do now? I forgot the card in my pants and I'm naked in the corridor. What if someone shows up? I'd better hide! But where!? There's nothing here but other rooms and the elevator. , I hear someone coming. Think, Ford, think! Let's look around and see if -- good, a vending machine, I'd better go hid behind it. If I'm lucky, whoever shows up won't have to come here and I'll be safe until my parents show up.
, the voices are coming. The voices are coming. What can I do!? They're walking past me - it's a couple - and please God, I hope they don't see me. I hope they
"Gasaaaaaaaaaahhh!"
God damnit! What do I do now? Run, Ford, run! The woman looks scared, and the guy - wearing a suit with converse shoes (how tacky is that?!) just looks puzzled. "What's the meaning of all this?", he says. Oh, god, I'd better run.
I run towards the elevator. The doors are closed. I press the buttons frantically, hoping that the elevator will be empty. Come, ******, come! The doors finally open and I look inside. There's a foreign couple with three or four cheetahs. "Oh, you pervert!" - the guy says. , it's not my lucky day, where the hell are the stairs? Run, run, run! I look behind me and the guy and his cheetahs are chasing me! Oh, there's a red door, I bet that's the emergency stairs, I'd better rush inside! I open the door, look back quickly enough to see the guy approaching, close the door and lock it. Phew, I guess I'm safe. Wait, what if he contacts the hotel staff? Or the police. I better run and jump out of a window somewhere in the 2nd floor. So I run as fast as I can and get to the second floor. I see a small window, and there's a mattress outside. Good, maybe I can squeeze through. I jump and try to do all according to planned - if I'm lucky, I'll land in the mattress and pretend I was mugged! Great! Wait, I'm stuck! What the hell! I hear someone coming behind me.
"What the hell?" - I hear someone say. It's a guy.
"Help me, I'm stuck!" - I yell.
"I can see that. lol". I can't believe the guy actually said 'lol'.
"All right, can you please help me out?", I say. Finally, how lucky is that?! Someone that speaks English offers to help me.
"Well, all I have is some peanut butter I bought at the convenience store, maybe if I spread it around your body, you can slide back in.
I feel him spread the peanut butter on me. That's, by far, the oddest sensation I've ever felt. I then feel him pull me back in.
"Wait, you're too heavy... we're just on the 2nd floor, what if I push you out? Do you believe you can land in safety?"
"Sure do!"
I suddenly feel him pushing me out and.... whooooooaaa... I'm falli-- ouch! Oh, good, I landed on the mattress! Yes, my plan is success -- now all I have to do is run. Run, Ford, run! There's the main street, it's full of people and I can still pretend I got mugged. So I run towards the oncoming traffic, scream for help and fall on my knees. A car stops behind me. It's my parents, with my brother, his girlfriend, and a hot friend that I don't find attractive.
"Ford, can you please explain why you're naked in the middle of the street, and completely covered in peanut butter from the waist down?" |
Ready? Go! |
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| nefardec |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
Meat's parody of Avana's girlfriend account of how she was harassed by the pizza deliverer - as told by the delivery guy - was pure gold, and it gave me an idea for a fun thread: |
it was also mean spirited. wtf? |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| Well yeah, gold. Like he said. |
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| Meat187 |
| So today I browsed TA and Lira made this thread that was a wall of text nobody read. Later nefardec got butthurt just like Theresa. |
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| srussell0018 |
| Today my business partner informed me that he was quitting our joint business venture. I was a bit surprised that he had quit, because I had always felt a strong sexual tension between the two of us. I suppose you could say that things came to a head when I spurned one of his advances at my home in Colorado recently. After the callousness of his resignation, I of course made sure to notify all of our existing clients as to the mental instability of my partner, and apologized many times over for any transgressions he may have had with them. I then made sure to replace all of our storage space with $100,000 worth of 14 inch black double ended dildos, because he seems like the type of person to exact revenge of some sort. He also seems like the type to make use of $100,000 worth of 14 inch black double ended dildos. Truth be told, he was a good business partner, and I valued both our partnership and friendship. I hold no ill-will towards him, and I sincerely hope this is reciprocated. I do, however, take issue with the suitcase full of polaroid photos of his anus and scrotum that were fed-exed to my house. I don't know why, but my wife spends a lot of time with this suitcase locked in the bedroom. She must be concerned for me having to see such a vile thing. |
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| shaw |
C- for accuracy.
They are single-sided. The bastard. :mad:
As the old saying goes, dildos for one aren't the least bit of fun. |
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| srussell0018 |
:(
What an . |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by nefardec
it was also mean spirited. wtf? |
Are you saying that because he's German!? What the hell, you can go around saying Germans are evil and mean, they can change, you know? That's just a conservative prejudice you hold against them, and that makes you look very bigoted :mad: :p
(He does that to everyone, Nef, and it's just him being silly... besides, what sort of parody doesn't make fun of someone/some situation?) |
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| nefardec |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
Are you saying that because he's German!? What the hell, you can go around saying Germans are evil and mean, they can change, you know? That's just a conservative prejudice you hold against them, and that makes you look very bigoted :mad: :p
(He does that to everyone, Nef, and it's just him being silly... besides, what sort of parody doesn't make fun of someone/some situation?) |
it would have been funny had he simply left it at 'nefardec is a creepy tall bitch', but he instead insulted my girlfriend, then opted to debase me with the transphobic 'guy in a wig' comments. can't really expect anything more from 'meat', though.
mostly it's insulting because i don't wear wigs, i have nice long natural hair. :p
i just find it odd that you're championing this obviously mean-spirited story, when i know you to be a more sensitive guy. parody is funny, but this was more akin to a hit-piece.
PS why has no one commented on my user status? |
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| Tasty Onions |
I saw your status earlier and laughed.
Don't really agree with the Theresa comparison made by some, though. You're not in "Why don't they provide parachutes on passenger jets in case of a crash?" territory...yet.
:toothless |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by nefardec
it would have been funny had he simply left it at 'nefardec is a creepy tall bitch', but he instead insulted my girlfriend, then opted to debase me with the transphobic 'guy in a wig' comments. can't really expect anything more from 'meat', though.
mostly it's insulting because i don't wear wigs, i have nice long natural hair. :p
i just find it odd that you're championing this obviously mean-spirited story, when i know you to be a more sensitive guy. parody is funny, but this was more akin to a hit-piece. |
Maybe it's because he's done that to me so many times that I don't really take him that seriously any more :p
So I took that as mindless fun and reckoned I could make things around here a bit...
*waits for Jenny*
... sillier :D
| quote: | Originally posted by nefardec
PS why has no one commented on my user status? |
:stongue:
Hadn't seen that yet :p |
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