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Other people paying for your stuff (and marriage)
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| Vector A |
I had no problems with my parents paying for all of my stuff when I was growing up. But the idea of having peers, people my own age, paying my way really bothers me. My gf and I discussed this recently, and I told her that I never wanted to depend on her salary to pursue any goals I happened to have in the future. She replied that if we were married, then the money she earned would be "our" money and it would not be a problem for her. But for some reason this still strikes me as unsatisfactory. I would never want to rely on someone else's earnings in any significant way, even if I were married to that person and they were okay with it.
Thoughts? |
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| ChemEnhanced |
| I think you better get your GF a ring soon or else she will be walking out the door. |
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| KiNeTiC ENeRgY |
| There is only one solution to this problem and it is to... |
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| Joss Weatherby |
I know I will catch flak for this but whatever...
I think that as long as both parties in the relationship see the money as mutually beneficial then its not a big deal. If you aren't being lazy and actually pursuing something of interest for yourself, even if it doesn't end up being monetarily productive, then I think both parties can find happiness. Providing for people has its own joys.
Really though I think the key is if you have children. If someone is the breadwinner and the other is dealing with children, then its fine. It doesn't matter if its a man or women who is breadwinner though.
The failure of the womens liberation movement was to take into account how much a homemaker is really valued in a productive society. I am not saying it just has to be women though. |
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| squirrelly |
LOL grow the up.
*edit
That was to the original post, btw. |
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| Meat187 |
| It's because you're a man. |
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| ziptnf |
| quote: | Originally posted by Vector A
I had no problems with my parents paying for all of my stuff when I was growing up. But the idea of having peers, people my own age, paying my way really bothers me. My gf and I discussed this recently, and I told her that I never wanted to depend on her salary to pursue any goals I happened to have in the future. She replied that if we were married, then the money she earned would be "our" money and it would not be a problem for her. But for some reason this still strikes me as unsatisfactory. I would never want to rely on someone else's earnings in any significant way, even if I were married to that person and they were okay with it.
Thoughts? |
It depends on what you mean by relying on her salary. Do you not have any income of your own? Anytime someone is wanting help out, you should take that help, unless you're ing Walter White or something and want to whip up methamphetamine for the entire Southwest USA and Mexico. :p |
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| srussell0018 |
| Oh look, a topic that Nou actually is an expert on! |
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| ziptnf |
| Well think of it this way: would you rather be in debt to the bank or your girlfriend? |
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| prolikewhoa |
| quote: | Originally posted by squirrelly
LOL grow the up.
*edit
That was to the original post, btw. |
:wtf: sara posting?! |
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| squirrelly |
Yes, I am. Was. Whatever. :o
Realistically, you're an idiot if you think in the entire time you are with someone, you won't rely on them or they won't rely on you for financial security. That's part of being someone's PARTNER. You don't just say "Oh, you broke now? PEACE!". You do what's best for your futures, individually and as a couple.
This clearly applies to a regular relationship, not a gold-digging or a scumbag relationship where the person has always been a leech - but as once you turn into an adult and have a real (functional) relationship, you'll understand.
If you've been married to someone for 10 years, and you both have been putting your all into the relationship, both financially and emotionally, and one turns to the other and says "I'd like to drop down to working part time so that I can further my education", and you're the cold hearted douchebag that gave her a hard time about it - don't be surprised if she murders you in your sleep because you were a selfish jackass.
And someone will ALWAYS make more money than the other - that doesn't mean you can look down your nose at your partner and say "I make more money than you so I get to make decisions about what we do with it".
You know what your abused s.o. is eventually going to say? "Take your money and off."
:o |
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| Arbiter |
| I accept tribute, but not charity. |
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