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["Relationship" thread] Helping an irascible friend (pg. 2)
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| JuneFuller |
| I used to have a friend that totally falls under this category of people. Their self esteem, trust and mental issues appear to be so twisted that keeping in touch with them simply makes no sense. Probably, they have too high expectations for people's attitude. Anyways, the fact that you can get along doesn't mean that this friendship is beneficial for you. And if it's not, there's no point in keeping in touch. |
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| EarnYourKeep |
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| Adam420 |
| He should smoke some weed. For sure. |
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| Jon_Snow |
Btw sounds like clark and you are a couple. |
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| Silky Johnson |
You can't "help" people who have no insight into or are in denial of what their behaviours are. If a person isn't even aware of the they do or say that drives people away and makes their life , and on top of it blames everyone ELSE - they are a loooooong way from being receptive to "help".
I honestly think that if a person by their late 20's or early 30's hasn't figured out their own , they are more often than not a lost cause. The majority of people just become more stubborn with age, too. I think it takes true rock bottom for these kind of people to wake up.
I also don't think it's another person's job to point out someone else's path to personal enlightenment. Kind of defeats the purpose of it, for one. And two, if a person hasn't asked you for help and isn't receptive to feedback in the first place, then you especially shouldn't offer it.
So good luck! |
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| Lira |
I'm moving to another city soon, June, so this probably won't be an issue in the long run... I guess. But yeah, I see your point.
| quote: | Originally posted by Silky Johnson
You can't "help" people who have no insight into or are in denial of what their behaviours are. If a person isn't even aware of the they do or say that drives people away and makes their life , and on top of it blames everyone ELSE - they are a loooooong way from being receptive to "help". |
But I can make his slightly aware of it, no?
He was actually stunned yesterday when I talked to him because he believes no one disagrees with him unless they want to harm him (usually people are afraid of confronting him because of his temper). I mean, I've learned quite a lot from what people have told me about myself... you included! So, although I'm not holding my breath, I wonder if a dissonant opinion will make him think so he can help himself. That's not really that bad, is it?
(Not a rhetorical question, by the way)
| quote: | Originally posted by Silky Johnson
I honestly think that if a person by their late 20's or early 30's hasn't figured out their own , they are more often than not a lost cause. The majority of people just become more stubborn with age, too. I think it takes true rock bottom for these kind of people to wake up. |
In this sense, we're on the same wavelength.
| quote: | Originally posted by Silky Johnson
I also don't think it's another person's job to point out someone else's path to personal enlightenment. Kind of defeats the purpose of it, for one. And two, if a person hasn't asked you for help and isn't receptive to feedback in the first place, then you especially shouldn't offer it. |
If he's made me something of a confident, wouldn't it be irresponsible to just listen and not tell him what my thoughts are though? |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| Truely the entime r up on us |
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| AlphaStarred |
| Nay, that ain't the tru true. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
I'm moving to another city soon, June, so this probably won't be an issue in the long run... I guess. But yeah, I see your point.
But I can make his slightly aware of it, no?
He was actually stunned yesterday when I talked to him because he believes no one disagrees with him unless they want to harm him (usually people are afraid of confronting him because of his temper). I mean, I've learned quite a lot from what people have told me about myself... you included! So, although I'm not holding my breath, I wonder if a dissonant opinion will make him think so he can help himself. That's not really that bad, is it?
(Not a rhetorical question, by the way)
In this sense, we're on the same wavelength.
If he's made me something of a confident, wouldn't it be irresponsible to just listen and not tell him what my thoughts are though? |
Oh, I definitely think it's important for friends to give their pals feedback about their behaviours. It just sounds like this guy doesn't want to hear it or use it constructivel - in which case I don't think it's up to you.
To answer your original post, I have had to walk away from similar types of toxic friends. In their own time they have grown as people and we have been able to rekindle our friendship. But it definitely took me some time to realize that walking away was all I could do. |
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| SYSTEM-J |
| quote: | Originally posted by EarnYourKeep
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I don't know what the this is, but I find it extremely disturbing. |
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