|
Feminism (pg. 4)
|
View this Thread in Original format
| knowhope |
| Pretentious bitches |
|
|
| Vivid Boy |
| Nou when do you get your GED? |
|
|
| Vivid Boy |
| ps why is it an issue for a man to approach a woman and try to make small talk? I find the true problem with society is that this is frowned upon nowadays. It's almost like its socially more accepting to pick up chicks off of a dating site lol |
|
|
| Joss Weatherby |
| quote: | Originally posted by Vivid Boy
ps why is it an issue for a man to approach a woman and try to make small talk? I find the true problem with society is that this is frowned upon nowadays. It's almost like its socially more accepting to pick up chicks off of a dating site lol |
That's how it feels in Seattle at least, which sucks because it feels way more awkward.
On the other hand "are you Asian?" isn't small talk, it's just offensive. |
|
|
| Vivid Boy |
are you asian is not that offensive lol.
anything that has to do with culture is racist in north america.
Why is it so bad to ask someone their origin or cultural background?
I dont get offended when some asks me if I'm Mediterranean |
|
|
| Nrg2Nfinit |
I agree,
and calling it a "fetish" is a bit extreme.. you want to know where tha person is from, thats it.. based on how they look you have a presumption of where they could be from, this is just validation. |
|
|
| Vector A |
I am guessing that in this case "Asian" refers to racial makeup, not where she is from. I mean, unless the guy heard her speaking with an obvious non-American accent or had some other indication she might have come from another country, rather than her parents or grandparents or whatever...
Calling it a "fetish" is not extreme. If the very first thing you ask someone is the equivalent of "Hey, what breed are you?" that seems like a pretty good sign. |
|
|
| Nrg2Nfinit |
| quote: | Originally posted by Vector A
I am guessing that in this case "Asian" refers to racial makeup, not where she is from. I mean, unless the guy heard her speaking with an obvious non-American accent or had some other indication she might have come from another country, rather than her parents or grandparents or whatever...
Calling it a "fetish" is not extreme. If the very first thing you ask someone is the equivalent of "Hey, what breed are you?" that seems like a pretty good sign. |
Of course its extreme! its not a breed, its asking someones historical background out of curiosity.
You see an interesting milano mix of someone you wonder their history, and im sure theres a nice story behind how their parents met or something. Great topic of conversation.
Race is a term. Asking someones backround is pondering a historical settlement of a group of people over a period of time related to that person.
I'm going to jerk off to that now because its such a turn on.. give me a break. You realize how ridiculous that sounds?
Are you telling me that national geographic has a fetish for me because they are sampling my dna to find out my human migration path? |
|
|
| Halcyon+On+On |
Fetishism is the translation of non-sexual objects into sexual objectification. If his opening line - as in approaching a stranger - is "Hey, are you Asian?" then he would be quite directly objectifying this person he presumably wants to get to know (for whatever motives) in a manner that distills her into her race, rather than her disposition, her name, even her perfume, etc.
Obviously this is an obtuse way of looking at social interaction, because I am with you guys that there's nothing terribly egregious about asking someone about their heritage. But we need to be more honest, more specific about this: as a woman, what does a dude who approaches you in a bar probably think about Asian women? Ignoring stereotypes does not mitigate them, and he'd already given notification that he's ing 'interested in Asians'? Nah, that guy.
And as men - many of us white men, at that (sorrynotsorry, Karim ;P) - we have to understand that the balance of power is absolutely in our favour. No, I am not saying that women are powerless in our society, but the worst a woman is going to do is laugh at a man in rejection -and I dunno about you guys, but that has never happened to me (sorrynotsorry, Nou ;P)- whereas the worst a man, with all of his entitlements and a bit of alcohol, who feels scorned and humiliated? Think about what some men might do. Not most men, but some.
Atop of all that is the extremely problematic notion that "she should have expected it". I think that most of us get what the guy in Nou's class was saying; if you're in a bar, that is a common place for people to hook up! It shouldn't surprise you to be hit on at a bar! And there's nothing wrong with that. But the wording is endemic of very real male entitlement that is no minor cause to very real problems women face, not limited to rape and assault; The implied notion that she's "free game" as if she is mere currency is the troublesome crux of -somewhat literally- untold grief in our society, because it defaults that patriarchal folkways are the potency by which to obtain reproductive rights, thereby reducing women to objects once more; and the kicker is that we're all conditioned to play into it, and women are still assaulted, still earn less on the dollar, still governed out of access to necessary healthcare, still the fulcrum by which the developing world hinges upon, and yet still ignored for it all.
I know it sure must seem like I am making a mountain out of a molehill, and I don't entirely disagree when it comes to this example- Nou's class probably did overreact, and the woman in the bar probably overreacted, too. But these things matter, and they matter in the most insidious ways that we are remiss to fully grasp because us men will never quite know what it is like; still calls for a whole lot more understanding, as we stand to become much better than we are. |
|
|
| Lira |
This is why whenever someone asks my wife if she's Asian, she replies she's just really sleepy:
Also, having quite a few Asian friends, I can assure you only nutters use this line as a conversation starter, and some of the stories my friends tell are nothing short of hilarious. My favourite is a friend who decided to give this random bloke a second chance because she thought he was friendly and didn't know how else to approach her.
"Are you Asian?"
"Well, I'm actually from São Paulo, but my father is Japanese, yeah, why?"
"Great, I really like traditional Japanese culture"
"Good"
"For example, I really like samurai. Do you like samurai?"
"Can't say I've ever wanted to be one but, a bit, yeah"
"Just 'a bit'?! Society nowadays is decadent because there are no samurai. Do you think girls would twerk to black music if samurais were still around?"
"What?"
"Society nowadays is just immoral, and that's because we just lack good old bushido. Twerking? Off with your head! Hip hop? Off with your head? 'Oops... I did it again'? Off again with your head!"
"You're making me really uncomfortable"
"Sorry, it's just that I really like samurai"
"That's fine"
"And that's why I want to go out on a date with you"
"..."
"Is that a yes?"
"You want to go out on a date with me because you like samurai?"
"Yeah, I like Japanese culture, and I want to be with someone Japanese like you"
"But I'm not even... all right, I need to go now"
It's downright weird. I reckon the sole reason Eric and I wouldn't mind if someone approached us and asked "Excuse me, are you Mediterranean?" is because, upon confirmation, no girl would simply turn to us and say "You are!? Please have me with olive oil and say you're Spartacus!" :p |
|
|
|
|
