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Friday 155 - Spring in America
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| ziptnf |
Hello wh0res. What are you doing this weekend?
A tough week of triathlon training and (finally) warm weather is giving me a mostly quiet, subdued weekend. Then back at it again next week. Trying to find the right balance to help my wife out with the little one, because she's doing a lot of the rearing. I'm envious of the times that I had nothing to do. |
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| Zoso |
| Working. And dealing with days 6 and 7 of debilitating back pain. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by ziptnf
Hello wh0res. What are you doing this weekend?
A tough week of triathlon training and (finally) warm weather is giving me a mostly quiet, subdued weekend. Then back at it again next week. Trying to find the right balance to help my wife out with the little one, because she's doing a lot of the rearing. I'm envious of the times that I had nothing to do. |
My word of advice is this: it's not even so much sharing the actual work of caring for a baby, it's sharing the mental load of parenting + homemaking in general.
Unless you already are like this, I'm talking about stuff like not waiting to be asked to do something - taking initiative to manage like dinner, laundry, tidying up, etc etc. Taking charge of as many decisions as you can, even stuff that seems minor, is a HUGE help.
Doing the actual stuff is not actually that hard, it's the constant mental work of planning, thinking ahead about everything, time management, decision making ON TOP of giving oneself mentally and emotionally is ing exhausting.
Hopefully that makes sense, but it truly makes all the difference.
Don't let the feminist angle of this scare you, this article/comic sums up what I'm talking about so perfectly.
http://www.scarymommy.com/emma-you-...ed-mental-load/ |
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| Silky Johnson |
| As for the weekend. Supposed to do an escape room with the girls tomorrow, but the weather is supposed to get greasy, so I dunno. |
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| Vector A |
| Going out tonight to see Quivver. |
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| ziptnf |
| quote: | Originally posted by Silky Johnson
My word of advice is this: it's not even so much sharing the actual work of caring for a baby, it's sharing the mental load of parenting + homemaking in general.
Unless you already are like this, I'm talking about stuff like not waiting to be asked to do something - taking initiative to manage like dinner, laundry, tidying up, etc etc. Taking charge of as many decisions as you can, even stuff that seems minor, is a HUGE help.
Doing the actual stuff is not actually that hard, it's the constant mental work of planning, thinking ahead about everything, time management, decision making ON TOP of giving oneself mentally and emotionally is ing exhausting.
Hopefully that makes sense, but it truly makes all the difference.
Don't let the feminist angle of this scare you, this article/comic sums up what I'm talking about so perfectly.
http://www.scarymommy.com/emma-you-...ed-mental-load/ |
Well, this isn't really what I was talking about.
I don't have to be asked to do anything domestic. I do all the cooking and dishes already. I do all of the grocery shopping. I make the bed and keep the house clean daily. I wash/fold clothes. I don't do every single domestic chore but I do a lot of them, without needing to be asked or thanked.
My point is that our son likes to be held a lot and it really limits the things that my wife can do. So I am trying to be as available as possible to give her that break where she can give him to me and go lie down for a minute or make a Target/Starbucks run. Being out training for 2 hours a day definitely impacts the amount of time that I can spend giving my wife a break, on top of the other stuff I have to do already.
Parenthood is a huge challenge to your patience, work ethic, consistency, and understanding of the world around you. Timing, planning, and communication are absolutely essential, and I'm grateful that we have been able to communicate how I can get all my training and other stuff done while still giving her enough time and space to take care of little man without losing her mind. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| Whoa easy now, I detect a little defensiveness. I did say "Unless you're already like this." But yes, apologies for the unsolicited advice. I see what you mean after clarifying. That sucks. I do not miss the fourth trimester at all, lol. |
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| ziptnf |
Eh, not trying to be defensive. However, I do detest the typical "husband" that the article was alluding to, who goes to work and comes home and sits their ass in front of the computer or TV and lets the wife do all the domestic duties. Unless you've been mining coal or swinging a hammer for 12 hours straight you have the strength to get up and do something to help stop your wife from drowning in the mountain of that has to be done when you have children.
Now maybe in the first 2-3 weeks when having a baby was super brand new to my life I didn't have some of the more baby-related duties (doodies?) down pat but once I figured those out it was smooth sailing. |
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| Silky Johnson |
Lololol doodies.
And yes, agreed on the man described in the article. I think he was characterized in the most extreme way, but only to illustrate the point. It's difficult to describe what the mental load is and how it impacts well being. |
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| Trance-M |
Football match with the boys tomorrow morning, watching F1 China on Sunday morning and then in the afternoon cycling, Amstel Gold Race which is in our neighborhood and a couple of times in our town.
Probably we will walk to one of the hills and then walk back home to see the end of the race on tv. |
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| planetaryplayer |
| I've been blessed with smelly turds the past few days from sausage consumption. I'm so gay |
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| SYSTEM-J |
| quote: | Originally posted by Vector A
Going out tonight to see Quivver. |
I saw him a couple of months ago in a dark, dirty basement. He was pretty good. Plays the kind of hard tech house that sounds excellent in a dark, dirty basement, but not so captivating when played back at home.
The weather is supposed to be changing next week, and we're finally getting some sunshine and temperatures pushing towards 20. I think I'm going to dust off my running gear and go for my first run in about 10 months. I turn 30 in June, and since everyone says your metabolism begins to betray you at the 30 mark, I've decided to get into the leanest possible shape to start the next decade of my life. |
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