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Am I Being Superficial and Shallow? (pg. 3)
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| butterfly |
i think you posted here because you already know what to do. you know you like this girl and you want us to talk you out of this doubt you seem to be having over her appearance.
you shouldn't let this girl slip by. i found that love can make someone look better than the most beautiful person in the world ever could. |
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| TranceEuphoria |
| Well, I advise you to take this girl! |
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| TranceEuphoria |
Well, I advise you to take this girl!
Perhaps she isn't the most beautiful girl on earth BUT:
1. personal qualities are always more important than her appearance, btw didn't your friends tell you she is beatiful?;)
2.YOU think she is a great girl...and after I've read your description about her, I also thought so. Don't wait longer for any girl that could be more perfect than she is because:
NOBODY IS PERFECT
3. I advise you to invite her to you. I am sure Tania will open the eyes of your mother. Your mother will realize, that personal qualities are much more important than being pretty (I am sure).
Good luck!!
:gsmile: |
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| jinxed84 |
first off about your thinking youre a tiny bit shallow: dont feel that way! like everyone said its normal to want somebody who is drop dead gorgeous, and i do the same thing, when i start to like someone i start to find things wrong with them and push myself away, i couldve gotten alot of ass by now but i havent cause i pick, pick, pick untill i am totally annoyed with the girl who likes me, sounds to me like thats what you are doing to a lesser extent.
another thing about looks. they can change. i mean it sounds like shes 20 somethin but hey she can still change a little maybe something will happen and all of the sudden youll think shes beautiful. this happens more in highschool but hey anything can happen.
about her other traits: OMG she sounds COOL, interested in trance; obviously a definite plus, caring very important, generosity also cool,intelligence cant live without it. overall she sounds like a 10 on the personality scale.
if you dont want her, can i have her number?:tongue2 ;)
just think how she makes you feel. dont think about what other people think of her, just remember how YOU feel being with HER.
hope i could shine some light on the problem, but in the end its up to you
hope everything works out |
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| sothis |
im not sure if ive been in love.. primarily because the situation turned out so bad and i dont want to admit i wasted my feelings in it, but regardless, if ive ever been in love, it was with this guy who i felt the same way about, as you are feeling now.
met him at a party, hung out with him.. he was so nice, caring, funny, and we just got along so well. but, i just wasnt that attracted to his looks. i worried like you were... wondering what i should do, feeling bad about myself for being superficial like that.
i hung out with him more, and after awhile, he started to look a lot better. once a person grows on you in a meaningful way, their appearance becomes more and more beautiful as well.
im sure this will happen with you. so what i would recommend, is to perhaps stop thinking about her as a girlfriend, and just hang out with her as a person.. do fun stuff, dont worry so much about what will happen if you date, dont worry so much about pursuing her, just hang out with her and have fun.
after awhile, i guarantee that if shes as great as you say, the appearance thing will work itself out.
besides, why rush it? time can only strengthen your relationship in the long run... while rushing into something, can cause more harm than good.
so, yea. dont be so eager to need it to happen immediately. try to let your ideas go away for awhile, and just be with her as a friend, doing fun stuff. i think youll surprise yourself with how beautiful she becomes in your mind. |
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| Fir3start3r |
Man...I must be tired...
I just glanced at this post and thought you were gay or something...
I thought it read, "Am I Being Superficial and Swallow?"
:crazy: |
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| Eugene |
Someone posted an excellent point that YES, looks DO matter.
You can't deny the fact that initial attraction is based on that. It's called "chemistry."
In your case, tiesto, I think you're having doubts and are asking us to prove you wrong. But I won't. I will tell you, go with your gut instinct.
When you meet that true special someone, you won't be asking anyone for advice. Everything will be perfect about her, including looks. I promise. |
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| sothis |
| quote: | When you meet that true special someone, you won't be asking anyone for advice. Everything will be perfect about her, including looks. I promise.
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i strongly disagree. looks might be what first attract you to someone, but that is absolutely not to say that you wont fall head over heels for a person below your standards, appearance-wise. ive dated people who i was instantly attracted to on a physical level, who i dont think twice about now. but the guy i really cared about, like i said, i didnt think he was that attractive at first. |
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| Eugene |
| quote: | Originally posted by sothis
i strongly disagree. looks might be what first attract you to someone, but that is absolutely not to say that you wont fall head over heels for a person below your standards, appearance-wise. ive dated people who i was instantly attracted to on a physical level, who i dont think twice about now. but the guy i really cared about, like i said, i didnt think he was that attractive at first. |
I strongly disagree with you :):)
well, hehe, not strongly, but still disagree.
Tiesto already knows the answer ("no, there's no chemistry"), but he hopes we'll agree with him that she has all these (theoretically) nice qualities and so they're a good couple... |
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| Renegade |
| quote: | | When you meet that true special someone, you won't be asking anyone for advice. Everything will be perfect about her, including looks. I promise. |
I don't think you can wait around for the "perfect" partner. Perfection just doesn't exist like that. So long as you keep on dismissing people because they have a certain, personal flaw, you're going to miss the boat. I see nothing wrong (in principle) with jumping on the first ship that pulls into shore - if it works out it works out, if not then what have you lost?
| quote: | Someone posted an excellent point that YES, looks DO matter.
You can't deny the fact that initial attraction is based on that. It's called "chemistry." |
However, I will agree with you here that if you're not attracted to someone, then there's not really much point in being in an exclusive relationship.
Don't get me wrong, personality is just as - if not more - important than looks in a "potential mate", but if I'm not attracted to her then what is the point of initiating a monogomous relatioship with her? Wouldn't I be better off attempting to maintain a friendship - i.e. a close relationship without the sexual attraction? Why do people feel as though a close relationship can only be maintained with a member of the opposite sex if they commit themselves to an exclusive sexual relationship?
tiesto14, if you like her, but aren't attracted to her, then I can see nothing wrong with remaining good friends, and not taking the relationship to that level.
Just my two cents - though given my record in relationships, I'm probably not the guy you want to be listening to. |
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| LadyLuck13 |
Yep, I'd say that would be pretty shallow of you. Looks aren't everything and aren't always going to guarantee happiness.
Just my opinion <3 |
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| Dmatrox |
| quote: | Originally posted by tiesto14
So what do you guys think…am I being a fool? |
wow dude, looks like you got a perfect girl. |
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