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DJ Sammy (pg. 10)
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| quote: | Originally posted by Paulie
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LOL n00bs, cheese aint categorised by how commercial it is, if i remmeber correctly the boards were running hot about DJ Sammy - Heavan before the radio's raped it. ITS NOT NECESSARILY COOL TO BE DIFFERENT. Live with it different people like different styles. |
hello n00b,
for your information the Simon & Shaker Remix and the Green Court Remix were the popular ones on here. |
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| paranoik0 |
he's .
period.
i understand your comparision to Pvd/AvB as they had a few tracks with commercial success. but both are excellent dj's and have made some massive underground tunes (though PvD is a pretty average producer, he made a couple of great tracks and that's all, 'We Are Alive' for example was a very cheesy track - but sammy never did a great track, all cheese crap). They're just on another level that Sammy will never reach. ever. |
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| Teknoscaper. |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slade
Forgetting and letting go is never an easy as it may sound. Then again, it doesn't really sound simple does it? There are so many things pulling you in so many directions at the one time. Which direction could one possibly choose? Timing is a huge factor. In fact time is the key. One can be determined to follow a decision, yet if timing is wrong, the results may be consequential. There must have been a time when the timing was just right. Sometimes people just miss it.
Chris sat and waited for his partner to walk in through the doors. It was so unlike her to be late. He hoped that she was okay. He couldn't explain the feelings he'd been experiencing lately. He'd been so uncomfortable around her and jumpy. He also realized that he hadn't really spoken to her properly in quite some time. Then again, he knew the answer to the why. It was the whole thing with Jillian. The fact that she was pregnant. That he would have to move to Boston to be with her and the baby. How could he tell Rita that? How could he say goodbye to the one person who meant the world to him? He knew that the reason why he was avoiding Rita was because he didn't have the guts to tell her about Jillian and the baby, he didn't want to lose her, then again, he also knew he was hurting her by avoiding her. Chris knew that he had to tell her soon. Jillian wanted to move to Boston as soon as possible so they could settle down. But how, he thought to himself. Chris' eyes wandered over to the Captain's office. He watched the man who had become a father to him sift through the paperwork on his desk grumbling. Chris could almost imagine the kind of reaction Harry would have. Harry would begin to have a heart burn as he yells at him about making the biggest mistake of his life, but beneath his anger would lie his deep concern. Chris sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. He promised himself today would be the day he would tell them. First he had to talk to Rita one on one.
Five minutes later Rita arrived to find her partner in deep thought. Rita stood back for a moment and tried to guess his temperament. Something was going on with him and it was beginning to cause a rift between them. He was slowly slipping away and it tore her apart to think she was losing him. She wanted to confront him but figured he'd come around soon and talk to her about it. At least that's what she had hoped.
Chris looked up from his deep thought and found Rita by the door looking over at him. He felt guilty knowing that she was beginning to feel uncertain of where she stood with him.
"Come on Sam. I'm not going to bite." he teased. Rita gave him a small smile and slowly approached their desks. As she came closer he saw the reservation in her eyes. He wished he could banish them, but he knew he was the one who put the reservation there. Rita sat down on her desk and began to unpack. Not knowing what to say she remained quiet. She hated the silence between them, but what was there to say. For the last couple of weeks she had watched him so uncomfortable around her and it made her uneasy. He was jumpy and there were times where he would snap at her a little. Though he apologized straight after, there was a huge difference in their friendship. She missed him and she didn't know what was going on.
"Hey Sam you got plans tonight?" he asked. Rita tried to hide the look of surprise on her face, but Chris saw it and understood it. It had been weeks since they have spent any time together outside the job. Rita shook her head,
"No. I was just going to stay home and finish the trashy novels I started." she answered with a smile. Jillian must be on duty, she thought to herself. For the last few weeks he'd been busy with Jillian. She wondered if that's the reason why he'd been absent for weeks now. She hoped not. She hoped whatever it was that was going on was temporary. She didn't know what she would do if he dropped from her life completely. She had gotten so used to him. Having him by her side at all times, without a question. Even when they were both involved, the other knew that all it took was a call or a look and they were there for each other. But things were different with Jillian. They were so serious. She hated to admit it but she was jealous that the attention was now divided. She had grown to rely on him, she knew she shouldn't have. She knew that one day, someone would come along and she will no longer be solely his. The thought hurt. Even though it felt that she was filling in an empty slot for his night, she was thankful for the time alone with him. They needed to talk. Once and for all she wanted to know the score. She wanted to know what was bothering him. What had come between them? What had happened to the connection they once had? Had it disappeared into thin air? It hurt to think that it seemed to crumble so easily.
That night she and Chris went straight to her apartment. They ordered Chinese and ate in her lounge room watching TV. Silence filled the room and they didn't know how to overcome it. After a little while of pretending to be absorbed in the show Chris stood up.
"Let's go for a walk Sammy," he suggested reaching out for her hand. Rita nodded and got up. Chris grabbed their jackets and led her out of the door. Hand in hand they walked along the sand of the beach. It was almost pitch dark, the light that was shining came from the streetlights above. Rita watched Chris, he looked as though he was fighting a battle with himself and she just wanted him to talk to her. Rita stopped walking and faced him. She could no longer take the silence, and broke it.
"Chris what has happened to us? Are you mad at me?" The question took him by surprise but he knew it wasn't far fetched. He took her face with both hands and held it.
"No Sammy, I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you. How could you even think it was something you did?" Rita's look answered his question.
"If it wasn't something I did, then what? What has happened between us? Isn't our friendship important anymore?" Chris looked horrified at the suggestion. Rita knew that that wasn't the case but she needed to say it out loud.
"No Sammy. You know no one is as important to me as you are."
"I used to" was all she could say. Rita pulled his hands down from her face and walked away from him. Chris watched her turn her back from him. He knew that all the hurt she felt by his absence the past weeks had piled up. She was beginning to lose hope in heir friendship. Chris walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her. Rita did not refuse or accept his gesture. She kept her arms folded and watched the darkened ocean.
"I don't know what I can say to make it better Sammy but there was just so many things going on and I didn't know how to handle them."
"You should have talked to me. You could always talk to me. Unless that's changed and if that can change then what else. The strength of our friendship lies in our trust. Chris, you and I have never hesitated to confide in each other before. It seems like you doubt our friendship now." As Rita spoke Chris could feel his heart tighten.
"No Sammy. You're friendship is the one thing I have never doubted. You have to believe that." Chris spun her around to face him. As moonlight shone on his face Rita could see the sincerity in his eyes. Rita placed a hand on his cheek and caressed it. Chris took her hands in his and kissed them. Without a thought Chris pulled her into a tight hug. His arms wrapped around her protectively.
Rita could hardly breathe through his embrace but she didn't mind. She missed him so much. They remained in each other's arms for a long time before Chris decided that it was time.
"Sam..." he began but Rita placed a finger on his lips.
"Shh Sam. Can we just stay here for awhile?" Chris looked down at her, the moonlight glowed against her skin. She looked beautiful in his arms. Without hesitation Chris placed a gentle kiss upon her lips. Surprised Rita's eyes fluttered up to look at him before closing them as she kissed him back. Moments later Chris jumped back. Stunned Rita jumped back too.
"I want this moment. I really do. Oh man, I love you...I want to be with you." Chris started
"I do too, I want to be with you too." Rita responded stepping forward placing
hers on his chest looking up at him, but Chris stood back.
"I...I can't. I'm sorry." It was then everything was remembered. Rita jumped back again. Shame filled her as she dropped her gaze.
"We better head back Chris," she said quietly. Silence fell before them again as they walked back to her apartment. As Rita closed the door behind Chris she could feel the tears that was quickly forming in her throat. She placed a hand over her mouth to muffle the cry that escaped from her mouth. Chris who stood still on the other side of the door could hear her attempts to silence herself from the misery he had inflicted. Though he knew that what was coming would hurt her even more. He was supposed to tell her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. They had finally admitted their true feelings for one another. What was supposed to be the start of something special turned out to be the coming attraction of the worst that was still to unfold.
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When Chris arrived at the precinct the next morning Rita was already seated at her desk. She looked up as he made his way to his desk. She gave him a quick smile and greeted him.
"Morning Chris." The famous Lance flare was at its best. As her face tried to project what she wanted the world to know, that she was okay. Her eyes were blank.
"Hey Rita"
Before he could say anything more, not that he could find any words Captain Lipz called them into his office. Silently they obeyed. Rita sat down in her usual chair as Chris remained standing up.
"Sit down Lorenzo. I want to talk to you."
"Should I be here Cap?" Rita asked.
"Yeah you should be. Maybe you could help your partner explain a few things to me." Chris sat down not knowing what the Cap was talking about.
"Boston PD called me about five minutes ago..." Chris flinched and squirmed in his seat. Rita could feel her knees shake, as she waited for Harry to begin, thankful that she was sitting down.
"They informed me that a certain Sargent Lorenzo had inquired about transferring there. I thought, no they were making a mistake because the Lorenzo I have would be straight with me about it. Then I remembered that a certain Lorenzo had actually made a passing comment that his girlfriend was promoted but the job was at Boston. I put the two and two together and realized that as much as I want to believe the Lorenzo I know would never sneak around behind my back, he just did. Tell me I'm wrong kid." This was all news to Rita. She didn't know Jillian was offered a promotion in Boston. Rita had the urge to stand up and just run from the room, but she wanted to hear the rest. She needed to. Everything began to make sense to her.
"Talk fast Lorenzo" Chris shifted around in his seat. He was trying to look for the words, as his eyes never left Rita as he began. Rita's eyes remained on the imaginary lint on her pants.
"You're right Cap. I went behind your back, and I'm sorry. I was going to talk to you about it today. I promise. I just wanted to...I...I. Jillian's taking the job at Boston."
"And you're what, following her to be Mr Jillian Dupree?" Harry exclaimed in shock and almost anger. Chris threw him a pleading look to let him finish. Rita began to feel nauseous, there was more. What else could there be?
"Jillian's pregnant!" As the words came out Rita jumped to her feet.
"Excuse me..." Rita covered her mouth and rushed to the bathroom. She almost didn't make it. Rita was on her knees, her head over the toilet bowl. The whole thing made her ill. Emotionally and physically, as she replayed the night before in her head the overwhelming feeling filled her again.
After they finished, Harry sent Chris to see if his partner was okay. Chris stayed outside the bathroom for ages, waiting for her to emerge. When she didn't Chris entered.
"Sam...you okay." With all the effort she could muster up Rita quietly got up and closed the bowl so she could sit on it. She brought her knees to her chest, hoping he'd go away when he found that nobody was in the stalls. One by one Chris looked under the doors and found no feet.
"Sammy, I know you're in here. I'm so sorry. I don't know what else..." At that same moment a female officer entered. Embarrassed Chris apologized and left. As soon as he did Rita put her legs down and buried her face in her hands. After ten more minutes she cleaned herself up and grabbed her toothbrush from the locker room. When she had finally emerged her face showed no color. Rita noticed that Chris was no longer in the precinct.
"I sent him to pick up files from Donovan" Harry whispered in her ear. Rita jumped in surprise. He noticed Rita hiding behind some filing cabinets scanning the room.
"Thanks Cap"
"I'm sorry Lance. I thought you knew." he apologized regretfully. He knew how close Chris and Rita was. He didn't know that Chris hadn't told her. He also knew how that must have felt to Rita. Chris and Rita had become more than just his detectives. They had become the children he and his wife were never able to have.
"Yeah well Cap it wasn't your fault. Chris had plenty of time to tell me." As the words came out the anger poured out.
"Cap you mind if I take the rest of the day off." For the first time Harry looked at Rita's face. The paleness of her face and the redness in her eyes began to worry him.
"You look like hell Lance. Sorry. Yeah go home Rita. See you Monday. You need anything you call okay?" Rita nodded and gave him an appreciative smile. If they weren't in the middle of the precinct she would've hugged him. Rita grabbed her jacket and purse before sprinting to her jeep to go home.
When Rita got home she packed an overnight bag. She needed to think things through and she knew she wouldn't be able to do that knowing Chris would be hounding her door. She threw the bag in her jeep and drove off without a backward glance. She grabbed her cell phone from her bag and made a point of turning it off. She didn't want any distractions. Rita found herself driving for hours to nowhere in particular. When the sun had set she grew tired and looked for the nearest motel. She had no idea where she was, but it didn't matter. In fact she liked not knowing. Rita dumped her bag on the corner of the room and collapsed on the bed from exhaustion. She didn't know how to even begin to comprehend all that had happened. She was in love with Chris and he was moving to Boston with Jillian to raise their child? What was with that? If only the night before hadn't happened. Maybe it would have been easier. But it did happen. How could she just pretend it didn't and bid him farewell with a smile. She couldn't. She was angry. At Chris, at life it self and most of all herself for letting it get as far as it did. If she could only take the words back, and pretend. Rita felt humiliated. She thought she knew Chris and she trusted in him completely. He lied to her. How could he say what he did when he knew that he was moving to Boston with Jillian? Rita then reminded herself that Chris stopped them last night from going any further. Rita let out a huge breath. She didn't care. All she knew was that everything she had ever believed in seemed to have crumbled before her eyes. Rita closed her eyes and tried to stop the thoughts. Whatever she thought about hurt and she just wanted them to end.
When Chris got back to their desk he noticed that Rita's jacket and purse were gone. He knew it was a safe assumption that he had gone home to think things through. He tried to figure out a way to say everything, but still came up blank. No matter how he tried he couldn't get past the fact that he was in love with his partner and didn't want to leave her. At the same time his responsibilities laid elsewhere. He couldn't abandon Jillian. In truth he loved her, but he wasn't in love with her. It was his partner who owned his heart and his soul. But how could he ever take away the misery he had put her through. Chris was about to head over to Rita's place after work when Captain Lipz called him into his office. Chris sat before the Captain. His glance remained on his partner's usual place. The chair beside him remained empty. Harry watched the agony Chris was in. It was hard on both Chris and Rita. He knew that Rita felt betrayed, though if he only knew to what extent and why. At the same time he understood Chris' hesitation.
"You wanna talk Son?" he asked gently in a fatherly tone. Chris couldn't even begin. Guilt was eating him alive as he hung his head.
"I didn't know how to even begin to tell her. Rita trusted me Cap, I was the one person who she believed she knew. She relied on me and we swore to no lies and what did I do?" Harry came around to where Chris was sitting and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Just give her time kid." Harry knew there was no point in consoling Chris because he was inconsolable. Just as he imagined Rita would be. One thing he learned in his early days with the famous duo was that they were each other's strength. If there was anyone who could ever snap them in or out of a mood it was the other. They were the ultimate team. It broke his heart to watch them lose the most important person in their lives. Chris barely heard Harry's words. As much as he wanted to and needed to give Rita time to heal from the fresh wounds he had inflicted, Jillian wanted them to move and soon. As if to read his thoughts Harry interrupted them.
"You gotta give her that time Lorenzo. If you ever want to regain even a little of what you shared with Rita you won't leave her until she is through this. Because if you walk away from her now. You may as well not come back." As Chris heard the words he believed them to be right. If there was any other person in the world who knew Rita, it was the Captain. Rita had grown to love him as the father she had always longed to have to share her life with.
Chris drove to Rita's apartment and knocked on her door. When she didn't answer he figured she knew it was him and still refused to speak to him. He understood that, but he hoped that they could talk soon.
Rita woke up in a cold room. She looked around not knowing where she was. All the walls were white and there were noises around her. She looked around and found herself in what seemed like a hospital room.
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"Where am I?" she asked groggily. A nurse approached her within moments.
"Miss Lance. You're in the county hospital. The motel manager heard you scream out in your sleep repeatedly and wanted to make sure you were okay, so he got his wife to check your room to see if you were okay. When they found you, you were on the floor doubled over in pain, you were in a fetal position clutching your lower back. Not knowing what to do they brought you here to assure your safety." Rita couldn't remember anything. The last thing she remembered was thinking about everything that had unfolded before her. Now she was in hospital? What happened?
"So what happened? What's wrong with me? I'm okay aren't I?" she asked the nurse not really concerned with the answer the nurse had to offer. The nurse shifted uncomfortably.
"I'll just go get the doctor." Before she could head out Rita called out.
"You didn't call anyone did you?" She said in fear. The last thing she needed was for Chris to start hovering over her. Staring at her with his guilt oozing from his eyes.
"No. We were going to call your partner since you had him listed as your emergency contact number but his cell phone was off."
"Probably busy packing for his move." As the words escaped from her mouth Rita hit herself on the forehead. Shocked at the bitterness that came out of her.
"Would you like me to try again?" the young nurse asked. For the first time Rita had a good look at her. She was young, bubbly and cute. The type Chris would have hit on if he was with her. The thoughts wouldn't stop. She hated herself for it. Rita shook her head.
"No thanks I'll be out of here soon right?" The nurse didn't answer and just left to fetch the doctor.
A man who looked as though he was in his early sixties came into her room, his hair was almost all white and he wore glasses. He walked in with confidence but his compassion was evident as he approached her.
"Sargent Lance I believe..." Rita smiled.
"Please call me Rita"
"Nice to finally meet you Sar...Rita. I'm Doctor Theodore Reed."
"Likewise. So what's wrong with me Doc?" she asked lightheartedly. She wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, and as charming as this doctor seemed to be she wasn't about to stay there a moment longer than necessary. The Doctor approached the bed and stood beside it as he began to speak.
"Rita, we're not quite sure exactly what is wrong with you which concerns me. You were brought in last night and you were delirious from the pain. You screamed repeatedly that your back hurt. You told me last night that it was something that had been re occurring the last few weeks." Rita nodded, though she didn't remember what she said the night before, that part was true. She started getting the pain a few weeks ago. Right before things began to change between dramatically between her and Chris. She thought it was stress related. Cursing herself for thinking of Chris again she tried concentrating on what the doctor was saying.
"Quite frankly Rita I can't find anything....which is what worries me. Your blood shows nothing, but I would like to do a ultrasound on you to rule out all possibilities."
"What do you think it is?" she asked beginning to worry.
"I would rather not speculate. Would you agree to a ultrasound now?" Rita sat still and nodded. She was beginning to get frightened. Once again she found herself looking for Chris.
"Is there anyone you would like us to call? To make this easier for you perhaps." Rita shook her head sadly.
"Not anymore." as she said the words she began to believe them. She was alone again and she no longer felt scared. Being alone was familiar to her. Doctor Reed saw the pain in her eyes and wondered who was responsible for making the woman want to go through it all alone.
"I'll have someone come and get you in an hour. In that time if you want to make any calls. Do it now." She tried to give him a small smile as she watched him leave her room.
As Rita waited for the hour to pass she started thinking about Chris. It wasn't really his fault. One of the things she loved most about him was his nobility, she knew that he would never turn his back on his unborn child. He shouldn't have to. As much as it hurt her that he never told her, she understood. He was scared of what she would say. The way she reacted is exactly the reason why he hesitated to tell her. As she began to think about it, the bitterness began to fade. Though the hurt remained, she was willing to talk to him and offer her support. At the same time she wanted to break free from him. As much as she didn't want to lose him completely she didn't know if she could bear watching him build a family with Jillian. Jillian would be living out the life she had dreamed of. Before Rita could decide once and for all what she should do, the orderly came in with the wheelchair to wheel her into the X-ray room.
Chris sat on Rita's steps for most of the morning hoping to catch her. For the first time, it occurred to him to look in her garage. When he did he saw that it was gone. He wondered when she had left. He wanted to wait for her to return but Jillian had him running errands for her. He called her cell phone repeatedly and received no answer. He wondered where she was. Though he wanted to give her time to think, he longed for her. He longed for his best friend.
That afternoon Doctor Reed visited Rita in her room looking so solemn that it scared Rita.
"Break it to me gently Doc." she said trying to make it easier for both of them.
"Rita, we found a mass in your pancreas." Rita stopped still. The whole room began to spin as she listened to the rest of what he had to tell her.
"What I would like is to schedule you for a biopsy to find out if the tumor is malignant."
"If it is?"
"We'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it."
"Am I..." she couldn't even begin to say what she wanted to.
"We're going to do everything we can Rita." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before getting up to leave. Rita liked his honesty, as much as it shocked and scared her, she found comfort in the truth he was willing to share.
"I'll schedule it for tomorrow morning. We should know the results in within the week." All Rita could do was stare at him. She was stunned. More than anything she wanted Chris by her side, but that wouldn't have been fair. She would be making her choose between her and his baby and that wasn't what she wanted to do. She loved him and she wanted him but she didn't want him that way. She knew that if anything was wrong with her, he would stay. It was just the way the way they worked. Rita's night was sleepless as she tossed and turned about the possibilities.
Chris slept fitfully himself on Rita's couch. Jillian was on duty that night and he hoped to catch Rita at home and if she wasn't, he was going to wait. He wondered where his partner was. When he asked the Cap if he knew anything, he said no.
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Rita's biopsy didn't take very long and she was only under the local anesthetic. When she came to Doctor Reed was in her room waiting for her to awaken. It was his day off but he knew that if he didn't convince Rita to have the biopsy done right then and there she wouldn't get it done at all and just hope for the best. For some reason he was drawn to Rita. It was perhaps because she looked so much like his daughter who died at such a young age to 21 only a couple of years before. She was their youngest. Daddy's little girl, they were so much alike and shared so much. They played basketball together, listened to their favorite music together, talked deep and meaningful, there was nothing she hid from him, and she was even following his footsteps in medicine. She was their only girl and she was so special. The one day, she got sick.
Rita woke up to find the old man staring wistfully out the window. In obvious deep thought, she cleared her throat quietly. Doctor Reed looked up and smiled at his patient. He still couldn't comprehend the significant similarity between Rita and his Samantha.
"Nice to see you're up Rita. How do you feel?" he asked approaching her. As he came closer Rita caught a glimpse of the pain in his eyes. She wanted to ask him if he was alright but she didn't want to pry.
"Can't feel anything yet. That's about to change right?" she asked lightheartedly. Theodore laughed. She had a sense of humor like his Sam too.
"Afraid so. Which brings me to a point I wanted to discuss with you. I don't really want you to work for a few days. It may have been a minor surgery but it is still surgery. You have small stitches and I don't want them to open up or get infected. So if I have to tie you to this bed to make sure you don't work, I will."
Rita laughed. In the last day or two she and Theodore had gotten to know each other. As he told her about his wife. Rita told him about her life as Sargent Lance in Palm Beach.
"Your workaholic days are put on hold..."
"Me? A workaholic? Excuse me, it's Sunday afternoon and who is here when they don't have to be?" she interrupted teasing him. Ignoring her interruption he continued but gave her a smile to acknowledge her observation.
"As I was saying Sargent Lance. If I can trust you to go back to Palm beach without going back to work, then I will sign your release papers. If I feel I cannot, I won't."
"I promise I'll go and see and my Captain first thing in the morning. I won't work. I'll just inform him personally. I have to do it face to face. If you like I could get him to call you to assure you that he won't let me work..." she teased further.
"I'll accept nothing less...otherwise I will admit you to the nearest hospital in Palm Beach." he said half serious. Rita picked up on it and nodded.
"I will. Promise is a promise. When will I know?" she asked carefully. Theodore gave her a comforting smile.
"As soon as I do. I'll call you. I promise you that." Rita nodded.
"Can I go now?" she asked. He shook his head.
"This afternoon. Hang on. I'm not letting you drive home. You just had surgery."
"How do you propose I get home to Palm Beach huh?" she asked
"Mary Beth and I will drive you back." Rita shook her head.
"No way. It's your day off and you don't even know me. That well anyway. No." But her protests went unheard as he continued to persist.
"Well then you are obligated to have dinner with Mary Beth and I. Mary Beth would love to meet you. I have the day off tomorrow anyway so I'll just take Mary Beth to Palm Beach for the night. You know a honeymoon thing?" he said winking. Rita burst out laughing at the thought. In the end she agreed. They would take her jeep down and drive her home. They were spending a night in the hotel and the next morning they would drive her to the precinct and that night they would take a plane home. It sounded so simple.
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Doctor Reed and Rita left the hospital together that afternoon. They were going to pick up her things and head straight to his house. He had called Mary Beth after he convinced Rita. Mary Beth didn't hesitate for a moment. It had been awhile since she had heard a certain tone in his voice. A tone that she thought had died with Samantha. But as she watched Teddy talk about this woman Rita, she could see that fatherly spark in his eyes. The same spark that only Sam could bring out in him. At first Rita was hesitant about meeting Mary Beth but as soon as she did her fears were calmed. In a lot ways she reminded her of Fran. Harry's wife. Mary Beth's eyes nearly filled with tears as she saw Rita. Her husband had neglected to tell her how much Rita looked like Samantha. After half an hour with her, she realized that it wasn't only looks that Rita shared with Samantha. It was brains, heart and soul. She was strong, but there was a vulnerability about her. Rita and Mary Beth became fast friends. Rita found herself warming up to them so easily that it scared her. After dinner they headed for Palm Beach. Rita sat in the back with blankets and pillows as she spoke with the two the elderly people in front. Rita almost felt like she was little again, when she along with Tom and Sue Lance were on their way to their summer house at the beach. She and Michael sitting at the back while their parents sat at the front.
The hours in the car brought them up to speed with each other's lives. By the time they got to Rita's apartment they felt like they had known each other for the longest time. Rita invited them to stay with her but they refused knowing that Rita needed to rest. Rita made them promise that the next time she wasn't going to take no for an answer. They postponed the tour of her apartment till the next day. After Rita closed the door behind Teddy she found a note on her kitchen counter from Chris.
"Sam, I hate this. I hate what's happening to us. You're the most important person in the world to me. You have to know that. I know I haven't exactly backed that up very well these last few weeks, I'm sorry. We need to talk. Please talk to me. I love you. Sam." As Rita read his note she felt a tear fall. For the first time she began to cry. She had thought about everything and she knew what she had to do. She needed to talk to Chris.
The next morning Teddy and Mary Beth picked her up early to take her down to the precinct before everyone else got there. Rita practically forced them to take her jeep to sight see while she walk back to the station. It wasn't far and she knew after telling the Cap, she would need the time to think. She needed to prepare mentally and physically for her conversation with Chris.
Harry walked into his office and didn't notice that Rita was sitting on the couch that faced his desk. She sat there for awhile while she waited for him and reminisced about the amount of times she and Chris had been in his office just to talk to him about every day stuff. It was then Rita realized just how hard it was going to be asking him for time off and why? Harry didn't notice Rita until he had sat down and looked up.
"Geez. You scared the living crap out me Lance. Where have you been? Your partner has been worried sick. Are you okay?" The questions continued without much of a chance to answer them. When he realized that he hadn't really given her much of a chance to respond he stopped and smiled at her sheepishly. Rita took a deep breath and began. When she finished, it was awhile before Harry said anything.
"When do you know once and for all?" he asked.
"Within a week maybe a little over. Teddy said he could probably rush the results but I don't know Cap. I think for now I'd rather not know so I'm not really protesting. He promised to call me as soon as he finds out."
"Oh Rita. Have you talked to Chris?" Harry asked carefully. Rita shook her head.
"Not yet, but I will. Not about this though, because I don't want him to know." Rita watched Harry's face scrunch up into disapproval.
"There's nothing to tell yet Cap. There's no reason to worry him about it. Second of all, I know that if he finds out that there's a possibility that I'm sick, he'll be obligated to stay and see that I'm okay. I want him to stay Cap, but I don't want to pull his heart strings to achieve what I want. I'll make sure that we straighten everything out before he leaves. All I ask Cap is that you leave this up to me. Promise me that." Reluctantly Harry agreed. He respected her wishes and granted them. Rita stood up from where she sat and walked over to him. She leaned against his desk as she took his hand in hers.
"I'll be okay Cap. However which way, I'll fight. You know that. First we get Chris out of here. I don't want him in this. He has enough on his plate." Without another word she placed a kiss on the older man's head and started to leave his office.
"Lance!" he called out. Rita glanced back to look at him.
"Yeah Cap?"
"You need anything you know Frannie and I are only a phone call away." Rita's face broke into a grin.
"Yeah I know Harry. Thanks, for everything." Rita left before Chris walked in the doors. Though she knew she needed to talk to him, she was still trying to rehearse what she had to say. She walked towards her apartment slowly and took a detour.
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As soon as Chris walked into the precinct his first instinct was to look for his partner. She had been missing the whole weekend and he wanted to make sure that he was okay. He knocked on the Captain's office door hoping that Harry would have an answer for him. Harry waved him in and pointed to the seat.
"Listen Frannie, we'll continue this later. Chris just walked in." He said to his wife. Frannie was as devastated as Harry, she loved Rita as a daughter.
"Love you too Frannie" Chris smiled as he heard them. He had often dreamed that in years to come that would be him and Rita. Harry caught Chris' look and already knew what he was thinking. Harry gave him a sympathetic smile.
"Cap, where's Rita? It's already 9." Harry leaned back on his chair and tried to act casual. He had been practicing since Rita left to pull of a convincing job.
"Taking a few of personal days off. She'll be back in a couple of days." Chris nodded, though it was so unlike Rita to ask for time off. He couldn't blame her.
"Oh Chris...Boston PD wants to know when to expect you." Harry said interrupting Chris' thoughts. As much as he didn't want to bring up Boston at a time such as that, it was the only thing that would keep Chris from asking further.
"Um, Cap...In about a week, sooner if possible. Jillian needs to get settled."
"WHAT!!!!!" Harry yelled. Chris jumped back in surprise.
"You haven't even talked to her yet." Chris knew who he meant and what he meant.
"I will Cap. I won't leave unless I know we're okay." Harry shook his head. With what Rita had planned Chris would leave according to plan. He knew that Rita was willing to put aside everything to make sure Chris leaves with Jillian because she felt that it was the right thing to do.
"Cap, can I take the rest of the day off. I want to go and see Rita."
"Go ahead kid. Things are pretty slow anyway. She should be home now." he replied looking at his watch. Chris got up and went straight to Rita's apartment and found that she wasn't there. He let himself in and found that she had been home and there was only one other place she would be at.
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He found her sitting on the beach at their favorite spot along the dunes. Her eyes were shut tightly. He could tell from where he stood a few feet away that she was in deep thought. Quietly he sat down beside her. Rita so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't notice that he had sat down.
"Sam" he whispered uncertainly. Rita's eyes flew open for a moment and closed again. It wasn't a surprise that she was thinking about him only moments before.
"I am so sorry." as he said the words, he knew how lame they sounded, no words could ever take the pain he saw in her eyes as she looked at him. Rita stared into his eyes for a moment. She could see the regret and anguish that filled every single being of his core. She sympathized.
"I know you are Chris. I do. I've had a lot of time to think about this. I came to a conclusion that what happened between us was a mistake....no hear me out." she continued before he could protest.
"It was a mistake because we had let time pass us by. See if the timing was right, everything would have worked out. It wasn't so it didn't. Our biggest mistake was that we took so long to figure out how we really felt, and by the time we did there were other forces working. It's not just your fault but mine also. I was as much to blame about letting opportunities pass, but there's nothing we can do about it now. Fate has taken a different turn and you must follow it. You know that if we continued this path together in the end we would both be miserable. You would be miserable because not being with your child would have you doubled over with guilt. How much of yourself could you possibly devote to our relationship? At the same time I would be miserable because I would keep thinking that one day you're going to turn around and resent me because of the path you had chosen to take simply because it felt right for one moment. We can't be selfish Chris. It's not just the two of us anymore. It hasn't been for awhile. So we can't keep acting like it is." When she had finished Chris let what she said sink in. It made sense and she was right. He knew that if he didn't go with Jillian he would just drive Rita insane with worry that one day he would regret his decision. He wished that she didn't know him so well. He was ashamed to admit to himself that a day would probably come that he would make them both miserable by the choices he made. Rita could see that Chris was agonizing with himself. Rita felt the best friend part of her come out. She took his hand in both of hers.
"You're doing the right thing. Go with Jillian. You need to do this. You and I will always be friends. You know that. It's inside of you. We are a part of each other, we always will be." Chris' eyes began to fill with tears as he pulled her into his arms and hugged her so tightly. Rita choked back the urge to start crying, she knew that if she did, she may not be able to stop. For the time being she had to be strong for both of them. Especially if things were going to go the way she had planned. She wanted Chris to leave without knowing. She wanted him to leave with as little guilt as possible. It was something she had to do. It was awhile before Rita pulled away, when she did she looked into his eyes, the window to his soul. She could see the love that he felt for her, and she was sure that as he stared into hers, he would see the love she felt for him.
"When do you plan on going?" she asked. Chris looked down and played with the sand. Rita pulled his chin up with her finger so he was looking at her.
"Tell me" Chris sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, unable to even comprehend what he had to tell her.
"By the end of the week. Jillian needs to get settled before the baby gets any bigger. I'm sorry Sam." was all Chris could say as he glanced back down on the sand. Rita sat for a moment, almost in a catatonic state. It was so soon.
"I guess we better get you started packing huh?" she said lightly. Giving him a shove with her shoulder. Chris' face was inconsolable. As Rita gave him a reassuring smile she could feel her heart pull into shreds. It hurt, but she had a decision to stick by and in a way having him leave so soon would make it easier for her.
"Well the sooner we get rid of the official stuff to do, we can hang out. I have the rest of the week off. I'll help you. Then you and me okay?" She tried to say the words bravely but Chris knew her better. He was thankful that she was still willing to spend time with him after everything he had put her through. But that was his Sam. It was just the way she was. It made him smile to know that she had the same thing in mind as he did. He had already told Jillian that he wanted to spend his last days at Palm Beach with Rita and Jillian agreed. She envied their closeness and knew he needed the time with Rita if he was ever going to adjust to the move. Chris pulled her into his arms again. Rita rested her head against his chest and breathed him in. She was going to miss him. She was afraid of what was ahead of her and wished he would be there to hold her hand. Yet she knew she rather he went on with his life. He needed to. Just like she needed to know once and for all.
They spent most of the morning at the beach, sitting there in each other's arms not really talking, just enjoying each other's presence. Rita could feel her back go into spasm's as they sat there but she tried to ignore it. When she couldn't anymore she suggested they go back to his apartment and start. Reluctantly Chris agreed and helped her up. Rita flinched as she got up, Chris noticed her wince and questioned her about it.
"You okay Sam?" he asked worried. Rita smiled.
"Yeah, I guess my back just got a little stiff from sitting down for so long." she answered hoping to convince him as she looked down pretending to brush of the sand on her pants. Rita didn't want him to look into her eyes knowing he would then know that she was lying. Chris hesitated and took her word for it. Hand in hand they walked back to his car and headed for his apartment. As soon as they got there Rita went to his bathroom and pulled out the pills Teddy had prescribed. She took a couple and took a huge gulp of water. She straightened herself out before going back downstairs to where Chris was preparing lunch. Rita could smell that he had started to make his famous Lorenzo Spaghetti.
"Smells good Sam." she praised. Chris looked up and smiled at her.
"Ah thanks Sam. Your beeper went off." Rita nodded and grabbed her purse. It was Teddy wondering if she was okay. Rita searched for her cell phone and called him. As she dialed she let herself out of Chris' apartment and stood outside his door.
"Hey Teddy. How's the sightseeing going? Mary Beth having a good time?" she asked. Teddy laughed. He and Mary Beth were having a great time, they decided to take a late flight that night hoping to have dinner with Rita before they headed back.
"We're having a ball. She made me promise to bring her back. Listen we still have your jeep and we were wondering if you wanted to have dinner with us, you know before we head back." Rita hesitated for a moment as she looked at Chris' door. Teddy could feel her hesitation
"You don't have to Rita, I mean we will see each other when you come up for your results...."
"No it's not that I don't want to. Believe me. Actually I would love to. I'll ask Chris if he wants to come." She said reassuring him that she didn't feel obligated.
"Have you told him?" he asked in an almost fatherly manner that reminded her of the Captain. Rita smiled to herself touched at her new friends concern. She found it hard to trust people but she felt so drawn to the Reed's.
"Of course not. We discussed this. So promise me you won't slip?" she said knowing him well enough at that time to know he was capable. Teddy laughed he could read her almost as well as his Sam.
"Promise is a promise and I promise Sargent Lance." Rita laughed and asked to speak to Mary Beth.
"Is he behaving?" she asked teasing. Mary Beth could feel the smile Rita had on her face as she teased them. She knew why her husband had been so drawn by her.
"Just barely. Mind you he can't keep his hands to himself." she replied dryly giving her husband a teasing wink as he pretended to be wounded.
"I bet. Well how about I'll see you guys at my apartment at 6:30. Your flight is at 11:00pm right? We'll have plenty of time." Rita bid them both goodbye and told them to behave and be careful. When Rita entered the room a curious Chris had leaned himself again the kitchen counter looking at her questioningly. Rita tried to ignore his curious stare, but he continued.
"What?" she asked innocently. Chris looked at her,
"Uh uh, what was that about?" he asked.
"What was what?" Chris gave a look that said don't try that with me.
"That was just a couple of friends I made while I was away. They came back down with me, they're great. They're a little older than Harry and Fran, they're actually leaving tonight and I had promised to have dinner with them. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?" As the words came out she could see that Chris was trying to decide whether or not he was going to take such a vague and simplified answer.
"Tell me about them." he said to her. He was a little worried at the sudden closeness Rita felt for the new couple. She hoped that she wouldn't get hurt in the end. Trusting her judgement he kept an open mind as she told him about them.
When he asked how they met it took Rita awhile to respond. How could she say it was when she was taken to his emergency room after she had a screaming fit because of the pain she went through, somehow she just couldn't say that. She told him that they ran into each other and started talking. Hoping to take his thought away from when they met she asked him again if he was willing to come with her.
"If you and Jillian have plans it's okay. It is Chris. Really!" she said as she read the hesitation on his face. Chris shook his head. |
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| GrimReaper |
| quote: | Originally posted by D.Edge
take note especially the credits for the tracks...he owes a lot to Martin Eyerer and Oliver Laib (which i sure hope isn't a spelling mistake :nervous: ) |
Oliver Laib and Martin Eyerer are behind E-Razor and also Anastasia (Join Me, Fly To The Sky with Dumonde) and Pearls (When Winter Calls.., Free Fall) with Walter G. Ercolino. Martin is involved in many other projects too.
My fav DJ Sammy track: DJ Sammy - The Boys Of Summer (Humate Dub). |
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| arctic |
| quote: | Originally posted by Mr.Mystery
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Ah come on, Slade isn't that bad, at least it's funny :p |
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| Mr.Mystery |
| quote: | Originally posted by arctic
Ah come on, Slade isn't that bad, at least it's funny :p |
I wouldn't know - I lost interest after the second sentence. |
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| euphoric dream |
the first time i heard boys of summer i thought " armin really must need cash" cause they are both similar. yup imo dj sammy is quite similar to most big name trance artists. you people are just so hung up on the fact that these guys have made it big and are raking in the cash therefore becomming your idols. ermm hello any one remember the paul van dyk tune "pump this party" i dont give a when it was made thats the cheesiest track i have ever heard. you guys are a bunch of elitist wannabe's you run around like trance gods when in reality you dont have open minds. its true dj sammy is pushing trance through to the general public (the people who dont spend all day trying to find the newest trance tune that has just been mastered" the man obviously is doing well if he got bryan adams praising him for "heaven".
get your heads out of your assess.
CHUCK NORRIS AND DJ SAMMY FOR WORLD LEADERS. |
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| Mr.Mystery |
The fact is, though, that PvD and others actually write the tracks themselves (regardless of how cheesy you may think they are) but Dj Sammy just takes an eighties hit and drowns it with cookie-cutter trance synths.
I'd have a lot more respect for him if he actually wrote his tunes himself. |
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| Chuck Norris |
| I already addressed this, i'm not having a go at you, just pointing it out. |
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| whiskers |
| quick, someone create a thread "alice deejay - the best producer in the history of trance" |
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| euphoric dream |
| Big deal the man remixed a few old tunes. heaps of people do it, ermm Red hot chilli peppers-by the way (Marco V Short Hard Trance Mix) <--- same as what dj sammy did. If the original writers didnt like it then they wouldnt have allowed dj sammy to release the tune's. |
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