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TA Joke Thread! (pg. 4)
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| BitchBoyNYC |
| quote: | Originally posted by Wazup8012
A man walks into a bar. He sees a horse at the end of the bar and asks the bartender, "What's with the horse?" The bartender replies, "If you can make my horse laugh I will give you a free shot and $100". The thought this should be easy and walked over to the horse and whispered something in it's ear. The horse started to laugh. He walked back to the astonished bartender, collects his free shot and his money and takes off.
A week goes by. The same man walks into the same bar, and see the same horse at the end of the bar. So he asaks the bartender, "Whats's the deal with the horse?" The bbartender replies, "If you can make my horse cry I will give you a free shot and $100". The thoughgt this was easy as well. So he walked over to the horse, whispered something in his ear. The horse cried once again. So, the man walked towards the bartender, collected the free shot and his money. As the man was walking out the door the bartender asked, "How did you do it? I mean you came in a week ago and made my horse laugh, and now you come in again a week latere and make my horse cry. How did you do it?" The man decided to tell him and said, "First, I told your horse that I had a bigger dick than him. Then I showed him." |
:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: |
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| EyesOfExtasy |
| quote: | Originally posted by RachUCF1001
i wasnt on the highway,
59 in 45, and for the record, EVERYONE speeds that much on this particular road,
There were like 10 cops standing on the corner with their stupid little radar guns pulling everyone over..
literally stepping out in the middle of the road , putting their arm up.. pointing at the car - and telling them to pull over. There was a line of people on the side of the road getting tickets written out for them!
bunch of BULL!
It was a Pullover Party.. never seen anything like it.
Im so ing pissed. But yea i think im going to plead NG |
Sorry to tell you but chances are if it was a pullover party and they have more than 1 person to go to court for they will probably show up. Especially if they are rookies that were low on theyre quota :(
Happened to me too. I got a big ass fine and 8 points on my license but I was doing like 85 in a 50. |
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| madhattared |
i was sitting at a bar one night on my vacation in scotland, and this drunk old chap sittin next to me says in this heavy slurred scottish accent, "You know I built all the bridges in this town, and do they call eye Shcotty the Bridge Builder? Nuogh! You know I built all the barnes in this town, and do they call eye Shcotty the Barn Builder? Nuogh! And i even build all the Sheds in this in this town, and do they call eye Shcotty the Shed Builder? Nuogh..."
He looks me straight in they eye, with his scraggaly beard dripping beer and says raising his index finger...
"But Ya Fuhck One Sheep."
sucks about the speedin ticket. ray got one doing 90 in a 65 thats in a doubled zone the night of summer stage =( hope this cheers up a bit =)
enjoy |
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| vtec junkie |
I have pretty funny joke............
I didnt do drugs at all last weekend.;)
BAHAHAHHA......YEAH FOCKING RIGHT!!!!!!:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
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| BitchBoyNYC |
| quote: | Originally posted by vtec junkie
I have pretty funny joke............
I didnt do drugs at all last weekend.;)
BAHAHAHHA......YEAH FOCKING RIGHT!!!!!!:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
Yeah, neither did I!:eyespop: :eyespop: :eyespop: :crazy: :crazy: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: |
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| BitchBoyNYC |
| Brian, me likes your sig very much!!!;) |
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| RachUCF1001 |
| quote: | Originally posted by BitchBoyNYC
Yeah, neither did I!:eyespop: :eyespop: :eyespop: :crazy: :crazy: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: |
YyyyyyyyyyyyEP..........! Same here......!!
God! We're all such GOOD boys and girls!
:disbelief :p |
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| jonze234 |
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
The moral of the story?
"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up
Chicks!" |
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| vtec junkie |
| quote: | Originally posted by BitchBoyNYC
Brian, me likes your sig very much!!!;) |
Thanks buddy:toothless |
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| BxNemo |
| i got super stoned last night and my sickness went away.... now they're back :( |
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| anuneventrade |
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?" |
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