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Another gay advice thread...but mine's a little different (pg. 3)
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
floorfiller, maybe that's it but i can't really say because i don't have that feeling that no one will like me if i don't spend money on them. i know people like me because i'm cool:) lol but i'm sure that has something to do with it...like i'm trying to impress or something. but honestly, if you knew me very well, you would know that i'm the type of person who will give you the shirt off my back or walk over hot coals for you if i really like you, so i think a lot of it is also just cuz i love to make people smile and laugh. it brings me pleasure:) |
well i know...i'm that way too hehehe. i guess i don't know what to tell you because i struggle with my own methods of self control. you could always resort to other methods of making your boyfriend smile of course....ass/boob massages once a week!! hahaha :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
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| tribu |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
well i know...i'm that way too hehehe. i guess i don't know what to tell you because i struggle with my own methods of self control. you could always resort to other methods of making your boyfriend smile of course....ass/boob massages once a week!! hahaha :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
I know that I, for one, would much rather have some sexual exploration then a new shirt :p |
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| Slylee |
| lol well yea he gets those very spontaneously pretty much every time i'm with him.... |
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| EyesOfExtasy |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
lol@eyesofextacy that post made me laugh cuz it's so true.
floorfiller, maybe that's it but i can't really say because i don't have that feeling that no one will like me if i don't spend money on them. i know people like me because i'm cool:) lol but i'm sure that has something to do with it...like i'm trying to impress or something. but honestly, if you knew me very well, you would know that i'm the type of person who will give you the shirt off my back or walk over hot coals for you if i really like you, so i think a lot of it is also just cuz i love to make people smile and laugh. it brings me pleasure:) |
Its called generosity. You dont have to make excuses to be a generous person. That is a good charateristic in a person that is quite rare nowadays, but remember to put yourself and your responsibilities first. |
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| Nell |
i've read all the posts and i have come to the conclusion that you're an idiot with no self control / disipline.
it's something you can only learn to control on your own, and if you can't, then tuff, it's your money at the end of the day and no-one cares what you do with it.
unfortunately, americans seem to think therapy is the answer to everything... it's not. you'll end up spending even more money on someone who says exactly what everyone in this thread says. get a grip, set some goals, stick to them. |
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| Slylee |
yea i think now that i'm looking for a roomate situation, and now that i have a car payment...it's teaching me to be wiser about spending. i'm starting to be more aware of what's in my account, instead of just blindly spending money and thinking, "oh screw it".
i think a lot of it has to do with how i was brought up too...i had a stepdad in my life for like 6 years when i was in elementary school and middle school and he was really big on gifts...our christmas tree was ridiculously full of presents every year. that's how he showed his love...lol pretty lame, but i think some of that mentality rubbed off on me. |
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| EyesOfExtasy |
| quote: | Originally posted by Nell
i've read all the posts and i have come to the conclusion that you're an idiot with no self control / disipline.
it's something you can only learn to control on your own, and if you can't, then tuff, it's your money at the end of the day and no-one cares what you do with it.
unfortunately, americans seem to think therapy is the answer to everything... it's not. you'll end up spending even more money on someone who says exactly what everyone in this thread says. get a grip, set some goals, stick to them. |
Just because she has spending issues does not give you the right to call her an idiot. Intelligence has nothing to do with desire. |
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| Scottaculous |
I think it's a combination of your thirst for instant gratification and materialism. You say it makes you happy to see other's happy because you were thoughtful and gave them a gift. That's nice and all at the moment you give the gift but at the end of the day, you will not be remembered for that. When you think about an ex, you don't think about how you miss receiving clothes during your relationship. You miss the laughs, giggles and little things. Those memories are much more enduring than any $50 item.
If you really want to set your finances straight buy a book about personal finance. I heard the Dummy's Guide to Personal Finance is very good. |
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| EyesOfExtasy |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
yea i think now that i'm looking for a roomate situation, and now that i have a car payment...it's teaching me to be wiser about spending. i'm starting to be more aware of what's in my account, instead of just blindly spending money and thinking, "oh screw it".
i think a lot of it has to do with how i was brought up too...i had a stepdad in my life for like 6 years when i was in elementary school and middle school and he was really big on gifts...our christmas tree was ridiculously full of presents every year. that's how he showed his love...lol pretty lame, but i think some of that mentality rubbed off on me. |
It does have alot to do with the way you were raised. When my parents were together things were pretty good financially with is before his drug habits got out of control and he eventually left us alone. That is when we just didnt have it to spend and times were tough. Now that I am on my own and not struggling together with my mom again I have my own cash etc I feel the need to spend again simply cuz i have it and I know I cant take it to the grave with me. |
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| Slylee |
yea that would add to my collection of "For dummies.." books...lol i think i have like 5 of those. i'll check it out thanks:) and i dunno about remembering giggles and cute stuff when i think of my ex's...hahaha that's another story.
and nell, don't call me an idiot. you're the one who can't even spell "tough" ... and quit bringing up the American issue. that has nothing to do with it. |
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| tribu |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
yea that would add to my collection of "For dummies.." books...lol i think i have like 5 of those. i'll check it out thanks:) and i dunno about remembering giggles and cute stuff when i think of my ex's...hahaha that's another story.
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Check it out of the library instead of buying it ;) (You've already the bought the book with tax dollars). That way, when you find that this thread encompasses most of the book, you wont be pissed you spent money on it :D |
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| Nite-Mer |
| Yeah. I have the same problem. I am majorly impulsive and love to spend money. I don't think there would be anything wrong with going to therapy for it. I used to be really good about saving, but now I'm terrible. It's like a disease. |
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