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Edition to the relationship problem...pretty sure its over :( (pg. 8)
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| donegalredneck |
Dump her and get with someone she knows.
Not necessarily in that order. |
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| Slylee |
my advice was the best, so follow it. and swamper's too, since he pretty much said what i said, in more or less words.
and will you guys quit bitching him out for snooping? my god...if you read your gf/bf's email (because you thought something was up, and you had the chance to snoop) and you found emails about them liking someone else and not wanting to be with you...or better yet, they were cheating on you, you'd be PISSEd...and damn happy that you snooped, don't lie.
please, like they would have any room to talk, "oh u piece of for reading my email and finding out that i'm a liar and a cheater". |
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| Arbiter |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
please, like they would have any room to talk, "oh u piece of for reading my email and finding out that i'm a liar and a cheater". |
:stongue:
Exactly. |
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| bobba lou |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
snooped, don't lie.
please, like they would have any room to talk, "oh u piece of for reading my email and finding out that i'm a liar and a cheater". |
two words, anger management.:D
I kid |
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| Halcyon+On+On |
Well, you'd just like to think that most of the time, you can trust someone whom you have deemed 'deserving of your trust'.
She probably didn't give him permission to snoop through her things, so it's just assumed (by his somewhat guilt-ridden post anyways) that he was violating some sort of established boundary. It's just implied that you don't want people to read your personal e-mails and such - there is no relationship law, but since when is love about laws? :happy2:
True, she wasn't open about things - but that doesn't mean that she was dishonest, either. Pragmatism aside, you just don't really want to share everything with a person sometimes - even if they are your 'significant other'. Just a few months into the relationship and there's already trouble like this - if it doesn't feel wrong by now, it probably should soon enough.
I'd like to just say 'dump her' like everybody else, but it's just not that easy sometimes. Of course, it's easy for everyone else to say 'dump dat st00pid ho like Toozday's garbage!!1!' but that isn't always the right choice and it's especially not the easy choice when you've invested so many feelings into a person for so long. Obviously, the choice is yours - we can only reinforce with our ignorance of the whole situation. :p |
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| Orbax |
I dont think that hes reading this any more. Hopefully he still has his motorcycle though.
My only point is if you think the girl is cool, why not try extra hard and be the best guy you can be right now? If it doesnt work all youve lost is what youve lost anyway, and if you win you get the girl. I dont see how its a bad thing.
Hell my friend GF broke up with him and he went to Germany. He came back, realize she was cool, and after 2 months of him going after her he proposed and they have been engaged for 6 months now.
Sometimes you gotta fight for a girl.. |
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| Slylee |
| i agree about fighting for someone, but that's only if YOU'VE screwed up and feel horrible. i don't know about you guys, but if i was with someone and i found out that they were losing feelings for me and felt sorry for me, i'd be like screw that. don't do me any favors. it would hurt, but i wouldn't sit around trying to get creative on how i could make them like me again. i'd end it and hopefully find someone else who thinks i rock:cool: |
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| Slylee |
edit double post.
:) :( :o :D ;) :p :cool: :rolleyes: :mad: :eek: :confused: :eyes: :conf: :whip: :clown: :toothless :sadgreen: :stongue: :thepirate :disbelief :gsmile: :wtf: :haha: :happy2: :nervous: :toocool: :tongue2 :crazy: :tongue3 :eyespop: |
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| Orbax |
| Id do it even if I didnt like the girl hehe. Mainly for spite, so the other guy couldnt get her. Then Id break up with her after she had burned her bridges with other guy. |
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| hardstyle |
| quote: | Originally posted by Vaedyn
And alaina(her best friend) is yelling at me not to ruin my realtionship with [Vaedyn] over [The other guy], but [the other guy]
Should I just end it? If so...what do you think the best way would be?
Thanks fellas |
Hook up with Alaina, at least she care about you |
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| Slylee |
wow, i have never seen more egotistical and immature responses than i have in this thread.
my god, who taught you all to be so vengeful and spiteful? seriously, people who have an extreme "eye for an eye" attitude are losers and need to get over themselves. and you know what orbax, i'm surprised to hear that from you because you are pretty religious. that is the first thing the bible teaches i'm sure. forgiveness??
seriously, you guys there's a way to go out with a little dignity. i had a recent break up with my boyfriend and while we were split up, he met some chick and had a couple dates, and i met someone as well and went on a date...but it was nothing, and in the end, we both realized what we had, and that chick made him realize how cool and special i was cuz she was such a dumb bimbo and bored the crap out of him. it hurt me so bad to know he was out with her, but i didn't go ing all his friends and acting like some dumb hoe out of a BET video....stealing his credit cards and maxing them out, or keying his car...yea that'll teach him right? i just did my thing and didn't call him, and guess what? he asked me to dinner eventually and told me he couldn't live without me and wanted me back:)
the only thing that stuff would teach him is to stay the hell away from me and i didn't want that. |
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| Orbax |
Its hard being an intellectual and battling with ideas of judgment, punishment, forgiveness, and teaching.
Now, in aforementioned situation:
I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for losing a girl without having tried everything to keep her. I would need to know that I wasn't getting dumped for being a slackass in that department. If we didn't click, we didn't click.
However. There is also the idea of making it so you dont get dumped because some douche from the military who has the aura of coolness around him that she is infatuated with get you canned.
So the whole thing would be that I am trying my hardest, so I dont look back and regret. I am blocking him and burning the bridges there so if/when we break up its because our relationship wasnt working, not because she mightve been able to "trade up".
There is also teaching the lesson, with no malice associated, that you shouldn't be a "The grass is greener on the other side" person and growing up and realizing WHAT YOU HAVE is always better than what you might lose/get. And to make sure you know the value of what is currently in your possession.
So, even if you forgive them you need to make them realize that they cant disregard people so easily. You arent doing it for you at that point, its for some guy who she'll hopefully be happier with later on. Just because she Fd your relationship doesnt mean you cant teach her why it went sour.
Ive had a lot of bad breakups with people and its because I tell them what they ed up on as far as relationships go. Then I meet them a year later and they are someone totally different, someone id like to be with again.
They changed without being cognizent of it, or maybe they were, but when someone sits down and says that what theyve done has hurt you, and that is why you are leaving them, it tends to stick with them.
I never really attack people like, "You stupid bitch, think about others" its more of, "You know, when you did X it made me feel like I was a second tier priority in your life, and that ..."
So, it doesnt really have to be malicious or anything, that where the educational part comes in.
Judge>forgive (if something bad found((forgiveness is an act, not a feeling, so dont be pissed off at them after you forgive them)))>punish/educate.
Feelings arent associated with any of those ;)
those arent "Greater than" signs, they mark progressions |
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