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Advice from the guys.... (pg. 2)
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| goodgreef |
i am a girl and i was much in love with my ex boyfriend but i wasnt ready for marriage.
i knew i wanted it eventually i guess... but DEFINITLEY not anytime soon.
i think fear of committment is the biggest killer of relationships..and its mainly covered up with other things... (other reasons that are made up sub-consciously because of the fear)...
good luck.. but my guess is take it easy and dont bug the guy about it too much because that'll just freak him out more. he'll think he NEEDS the answer for you right away, and if hes not ready to answer it'll just cause too much thinking on his part and scare him. |
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| Miss Julia |
Thanks for the opinions, guys. It makes sense to me now, that guys may be afraid of the "next step". It's understandable. But what can a girl do to make the guy feel at ease? What can a girl do to take the pressure off the guy, and make him feel comfortable with the relationship?
The last thing a girl wants to do is make a guy feel stressed out and uncomfortable. |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Miss Julia
Thanks for the opinions, guys. It makes sense to me now, that guys may be afraid of the "next step". It's understandable. But what can a girl do to make the guy feel at ease? What can a girl do to take the pressure off the guy, and make him feel comfortable with the relationship?
The last thing a girl wants to do is make a guy feel stressed out and uncomfortable. |
hmmm...
well of course the best thing to do is just be yourself. don't feel rushed like you have this biological clock ticking...you're young i checked the profile hehehe :p. just be the person that he wanted to date in the first place. if i was you and you don't want him to be stressed about it...try not to talk about it too much. i mean..it's great to know where the two of you stand on things, but if you always start talking about your friends getting married and your mom wants grand children...hehehehe...just take it down a notch. i'm sure he has feelings for you...he's just a man and too stupid and immature to make a decision like marriage right now :stongue: :stongue: :stongue:
especially also if you guys are still students or anything like that. i don't know about other guys, but i'd like to be settled before i start thinking about getting married. i'd like a nice job...be done with school...and ready to spend my life with the person i love...so it's not you... |
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| jonSun |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
hmmm...
well of course the best thing to do is just be yourself. don't feel rushed like you have this biological clock ticking...you're young i checked the profile hehehe :p. just be the person that he wanted to date in the first place. if i was you and you don't want him to be stressed about it...try not to talk about it too much. i mean..it's great to know where the two of you stand on things, but if you always start talking about your friends getting married and your mom wants grand children...hehehehe...just take it down a notch. i'm sure he has feelings for you...he's just a man and too stupid and immature to make a decision like marriage right now :stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
She said it was her friend, not her. :haha: |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by jonSun
She said it was her friend, not her. :haha: |
well i don't ing know...i didn't read it that closely hehehe...she can translate that into her friend...i don't care hehehe :p |
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| Orbax |
| why is this a guy thing haha. People are always wondering if they can one up or something. |
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| Miss Julia |
No one said anything about marriage!!! Rather, a female just wants to feel like they are "wanted". ;)
When the couple have been dating happily for a year, and then he all of the sudden he starts saying things like "I don't know what I want", and "I'm not ready for a commitment", but at the same time he says "I love you and care about you, and there is a part of me that really wants to be with you"... it get's a little confusing.
What should a female think when a guy says things like this? |
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| Slylee |
*Edit* ok, now i just read what you said i'm gonna delete my reply about marriage and all that.
it sounds like he's having second thoughts about you and the relationship. this is what you need to do ASAP. you need to tell him that you are sort of confused too, and you think you want to explore other options and "find yourself" and take a break. then start going out and having fun and not calling him...only occasionally returning his calls.
if he loves you, he'll come running back crying like a baby. if he doesn't, then he obviously wasn't happy and was waiting for it to end. |
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| stren |
| quote: | Originally posted by Miss Julia
Thanks for the opinions, guys. It makes sense to me now, that guys may be afraid of the "next step". It's understandable. But what can a girl do to make the guy feel at ease? What can a girl do to take the pressure off the guy, and make him feel comfortable with the relationship?
The last thing a girl wants to do is make a guy feel stressed out and uncomfortable. |
hmm. If the relationship is getting too serious (meaning looks like marriage itself) you should try to make him feel like you are not thinking off marriage and maybe recall how you were acting at the beginning of ur relationshp (do something crazy perhaps:conf: )
@ goodgrief
The fear of commitment is caused by society's pressure of getting married and having children |
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| jonSun |
| quote: | Originally posted by Miss Julia
No one said anything about marriage!!! Rather, a female just wants to feel like they are "wanted". ;)
When the couple have been dating happily for a year, and then he all of the sudden he starts saying things like "I don't know what I want", and "I'm not ready for a commitment", but at the same time he says "I love you and care about you, and there is a part of me that really wants to be with you"... it get's a little confusing.
What should a female think when a guy says things like this? |
Thats not a good thing if he's saying this after a year. I really dont think its the scared of commitment part if its not about marrige. I really dont think this relationship your "friend" is in is gonna last much longer. In the past I said the same to a girl after about a year & the relationship lasted only 5-6 more months & those months sucked becuase our feelings were on 2 different pages. |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Miss Julia
No one said anything about marriage!!! Rather, a female just wants to feel like they are "wanted". ;)
When the couple have been dating happily for a year, and then he all of the sudden he starts saying things like "I don't know what I want", and "I'm not ready for a commitment", but at the same time he says "I love you and care about you, and there is a part of me that really wants to be with you"... it get's a little confusing.
What should a female think when a guy says things like this? |
hmmmm...well ...i can't give advice on that because i wonder the same thing about a certain woman hehehe...
but anyway...i would think that he is obviously concious of how long you guys have been going out...and maybe being together for a year is a big deal for him so he's worried about it getting really serious... |
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| jonze234 |
| how long have his previous relationships lasted? if this is the longest then that might help to explain some of the things going on. |
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