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Can you have too many friends? (pg. 5)
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| mindspin |
| friends are ppl that you hang out with on a fairly regular basis....the ppl you're with on weeknites....or just chillen days, or the before the bar gatherings....aquaitences are just all those ppl you know and talk to at bars but would never really hang out with them out of the bar scene......or go out of your way to hang out with out of the bar scene.... |
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| Rodrico |
| quote: | Originally posted by Vivid Boy
too many friends is impossible is justsomething pplw tih very little friends say. believe me whgen ulive in toronto u learn to pick ur friends wisely. and even then u havethem u keep em at a certain distance.i have 3 friends and im happy with all of them cause theyre genuinely good people who would never backstab me for anything. they carrythesame principles as i do and theyre smart intelligent people. they all have similar lives to me and were brought up in good similar families. its funny 2 of them are spanish and the other one is halkf italian. growing up the wai did u would expect me to have nothing but italian friends.
ps im hammered. and i think i totally over some kid without even knbowing it and i feel horrible abt it |
You're a special guy Eric, thats why I call you "Special Eric". |
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| [NFC]Wave |
| The more the better I say ;) I love meeting new people. |
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| Nick |
| quote: | Originally posted by StereoPrincess
but it is easy to pick out the fakies and the real people out in just by meeting them a few times. |
This so so true. |
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| cap |
Actually, there have been a few studies on the maximum amount of friends most people can tolerate.
I believe the number was 19 or so, and beyond that, people cannot handle the social dynamic and regress by focusing their attention back on their fondest friends.
Also, these studies were extrapolated to the human resources section of some companies.
Companies that kept their employees within an optimal amount created a social dynamic that boosted employee comraderie and subsequently, productivity.
But, as with all studies and theories, they can be refuted. |
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| MarkT |
| quote: | Originally posted by angelgirl
I too believe that there is no such thing as too many acquaintances. The problem lies in that many of us make the mistake of equating an acquaintance with a true friend... |
sorry to edit the rest ;) but I think you pefectly sum it up right there...
lots of people say "quality over quantity" and "I'd rather have a few good friends than a lot of acquaintances"...which is fine...but having a few good friends and having a lot of acquaintances need not be mutually exclusive.
I have a few very good friends...people who I would go out of my way to help...people who mean a lot to me...people who become more like family.
Then there are more peripheral friends...people I regularly see, spend time with, etc. We're not as close as I would be with my very good friends, but they're still people I consider as being much more than an acquaintance.
Acquaintances are great too...I've met a lot of TAs, for example...and seeing many familiar faces at events, being able to chat with cool people, etc...that's part of why I like the EDM scene. Plus, an acquaintance can turn into a good friend, so I enjoy meeting new people.
Really, for me, it comes down to having "boundaries" with people...friendship is a continuum...a spectrum...people fall on certain ends of it and move along it as time passes and I redraw my boundaries with them.
The only problem I see if when having a lot of acquaintances INSTEAD of having some good friends is the case...everyone should have a few people who they can count on...and who counts on them. |
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| b4k-oz |
| quote: | Originally posted by Sly_Guy
I don't go by this definition. For the most part, I don't tell anyone about what's going on in my head, I'm just not that kind of kid. But that doesn't mean I don't have friends, the defining line for me would be that friends are people I make plans with, or go out of my way to spend time with while aquaintences are people I talk to or run into when I'm out and about. |
Sly_Guy I don't think that any1 truly tells ppl what really goes on in their head (some ppl are far more complex than that)...but I do think that a real friend knows what your aspirations are and that is what I mean when I refer to your deepest and darkest secret. A real friend does not judge...he/she wants to see you obtain your goals and be supportive. For me, I have many acquaintances...ppl that I admire, respect and appreciate.
and....in Mark T's words...an acquaintance can turn into a good friend, so I enjoy meeting new people but it does come down to having "boundaries" with people...friendship really is a continuum...a spectrum...people fall on certain ends of it and move along it as time passes and I redraw my boundaries with them.
So in my own words....just enjoy the company you keep and don't be too reserved or judgemental with others...because you limit yourself and your own potential to learn, grew and experiance how great people can be.
My rule of thumb is to always stay real, not think of myself as better or worse than others. Never judge, lose compassion or lose empathy for others. To try and respect every1...cuz we all have some admirable skill or trait...and we need to admire that about each other, rather than concentrate on negative aspects. TOTAs are some of the most fantastic down to earth people that I've ever met...and frankly I feel my life has become much better after having met TAs like girlovingtvibe, muzzybear, Tatgirl, (the late djFuZion...who will always have a special piece of my heart)and all the TOTAs that are now in my life. I could start naming them one by one...but you get the meaning don't you ;) |
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| Sekoya |
TOO many friends??? I don't know, depends on what your definition of a "friend" really is.....
Friends or aquaintances, no matter what there are to you should be treated with general human decency and kindness always.... Don't forget; you get back what you give out!!!!! (eventually)
As for me, I need an equal exchange on all levels..... that means its a give and take relationship no matter who its with. Some days may be 50 - 50, some 40 - 60 and some even 90- 10, as long as it evens out in the long run I'm happy....... You gotta take the good with the bad!!!!! |
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| DigiNut |
Maybe there's some theoretical number of maximum friends you can have before there simply aren't enough hours in the day to attend to them all or enough space in your memory to keep all their names and faces, but I think few if any people in this world ever actually reach that number.
If it helps you in your life to make a division between "acquaintances" and "friends", and focus your efforts more on the latter than the former, then by all means use that division. The way I see it, it has less to do with the person and more to do with the amount of time and effort you put into the relationship. You put more in, you get more out, it's that simple (that is, until you get clingy and then the law of diminishing returns starts to kick in).
Everybody is a friend when you're committing yourself to the relationship. Maybe you'll drift away for a month, or a year, and then get back in touch. They didn't stop being your friend, you just got out of touch for a while. So unless you believe that people will develop a permanent dislike for you if you temporarily stop spending time with them, then no, you can't have too many friends, or acquaintances, or whatever you want to call them. |
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| psychosomatica |
| I dont have any friends. |
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| StereoPrincess |
| quote: | Originally posted by psychosomatica
I dont have any friends. |
that is not true, i'm sure. |
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| Max Q |
I've struggled with this since I started here on TA... struggled with trying to see and be with everyone I know and have met the past couple of years. For those of you who know me, I do like to be friendly with everyone. I genuinely do care about the people around me and my smiles to all of you are definitely not fake.
But yeah... it's definitely hard to have many good friends when there's not enough hours in a day/week/month to cultivate a good friendship. When I met everyone here on TA I could not believe that there were this many cool people who liked the same music as I did and who were all nice and fun to party with, so that makes it extra-hard to have to pick-'n'-choose (for lack of better term) your friends. I know it's not a conscious decision -- it does boil down to who you really click with and who you don't.
I think the main thing is that people should understand that being an acquaintance and/or a party friend is not a bad thing either. I really do want to be good friends with everyone, but I have to accept the fact that I cannot emotionally/physically/mentally handle all of that. (But it IS nice when an acquaintance turns into a deeper friendship! And there are a few people here that I've had the pleasure of doing this with.)
.. so Margs, to answer your question... I personally believe you can definitely have too many good/close friends, but having lots of people who you like hanging with from time to time is good too. |
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