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Monogamy (pg. 4)
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| Estella |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
Ive never had a girlfriend :p |
:eek: !! Knowledgable, disciplined, etc etc on and on.
Of course you wouldn't!
From a strictly personal perspective, It takes me FOR. EVER. ER to fully trust someone and let down all my barriers, become uninhibited in a relationship. I'm painfully introverted. My mamma always told me I would marry my best friend... But if a guy was to come along for his own sake, his quest to find that "one" I would respect his intentions. Isn't that what we're all trying to do? However, I would feel like I'm being probed to display everything of myself within his own confined moments of time. Which in turn, I would only clam up and he'd be moving onto the next girl as fast as you could say ... suckering sucotash. |
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| Cal |
Wow everybody's so righteous.
I'm with Orbax on this one, it takes a hella long time to find out if the person you are with fits, and our lifespan is finite.
Oh and by the way, it's a non-issue. If you're dating a lot of people, and you really start to like one of them, you'll find out that you're choosing to spend time and develop a relationship with that person over all the rest. Eventually, if there's a real connection, all but that single relationship will die out naturally because you will choose to be exclusive with her. |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
Well intimacy isnt a pre requisite for strong emotion, and even if it was, strong emotion like that which exists in the familial unit is way cooler than only having 1 family member alive right? |
how very utilitarian of you hahaha :p
and no intimacy isn't a pre requisite...i'm just saying that our society has socially constructed the way we think about personal relationships and intimacy is one of those things that, atleast in theory, evokes stong emotional feelings.
but in response to your example of the familial unit, if you have many family members vs one living relative...isn't the connection with that one surviving member perhaps stronger than each individual relationship you would have had with a larger family? |
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| Estella |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
well since arab countries are a completely different culture and aren't really relevant to my life in the united states...i was talking more about the culture that we live in obviously... |
ohhh haha sorry, my misunderstanding.
Don't give me no Diva lip. :D |
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| Estella |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
how very utilitarian of you hahaha :p
and no intimacy isn't a pre requisite...i'm just saying that our society has socially constructed the way we think about personal relationships and intimacy is one of those things that, atleast in theory, evokes stong emotional feelings.
but in response to your example of the familial unit, if you have many family members vs one living relative...isn't the connection with that one surviving member perhaps stronger than each individual relationship you would have had with a larger family? |
yes ! I concur ! |
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| Orbax |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
isn't the connection with that one surviving member perhaps stronger than each individual relationship you would have had with a larger family? |
Let me kill your family and tell me how thankful you are to have all emotion in one basket :p
Im just saying I dont think id love anyone more or less because of number.
If I had 100 dollar bill I wouldnt not want others because that would lower my attachment to the first 100. The value remains the same yes?
Is the idea of only having 1 societies way of creating obligation? Like the hand on the bible in court rooms?
So again, is this a social construction, or is it against human "nature" to love everything? And further more an immoral use of the brain to spread love |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
Let me kill your family and tell me how thankful you are to have all emotion in one basket :p |
well obviously i wouldn't want that :p...but all i'm saying that it might make me grow closer to say my mom if she was the only one left...
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Im just saying I dont think id love anyone more or less because of number.
If I had 100 dollar bill I wouldnt not want others because that would lower my attachment to the first 100. The value remains the same yes?
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well is your interest in women material in nature?
| quote: |
Is the idea of only having 1 societies way of creating obligation? Like the hand on the bible in court rooms?
So again, is this a social construction, or is it against human "nature" to love everything? And further more an immoral use of the brain to spread love |
i'd agree that it is a way to create obligation. lets face it...our western society is the way it is because of the religious influences we've had in the past. if christianity wasn't the dominant relgion then we could very easily be like arab countries or something similar. because we've chosen to base our society on that model, that's the reason we've chosen our code of morals.
as far as questions of human nature...i'd say it is probably natural for men to seek out multiple women. i'm sure in the earliest forms of society, nomadic or sedentary, you'd find powerful males with more than one sexual partner. but then in these communities, what is the connection between such people? is it strickly a pyhsical relationship? is there actual feelings involved?
if we look at as you mentioned a haram of women for say a sultan of some arab country. is the connection between that sultan and some beautiful girl strictly pyhsical again? i'm sure in some instances perhaps it becomes more than that, but i doubt for the vast majority of the women in his harem he has love type feelings for them and more of just lust and sexual attraction.. |
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| Orbax |
but there is an idea of a sultan in your mind as a man of power that is using them as a symbol.
Lets take you for example. Wouldnt it have been easier to just have a harem of 5 girls that lasted like 2 months instead of moving through the ranks hehe.
Can good guys/girls be involved in a harem :wtf: |
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| *~*Angelblue*~* |
i have always been very faithful and loyal to whoever i was in a relationship with. but something about my last relationship tells me that my ex-fiance cheated on me because after i broke up most of my girlfriends had something to tell me he did. either hitting on, or whatever. i have always been the type of person that i expect if i treat you a certain way that the same should be given back to me (undo to others as you do to yourself kinda thing) it's only fair.
for you cheaters: damn i hope you never get in a serious relationship ever again, or if you do i hope you catch your "other" ing someone else. then maybe you'll feel what it's like to be cheated on, it's the worst feeling in the whole world...it's been done to me once that i know of and the guy was gone with the quickness and i think my ex-fiance cheated too. |
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| Orbax |
I tell people when their partner is acting weird. I dont play ing games with that :D
for about 4 thousand years it has been legal for men to kill their spouse and the cheater if they walk in. Changed in like 1965.
People dont like that !
but I still dont see why if you are able to commit yourself to lets say 15 different people over the span of your life, why lifelong committment to two+ is so absurd >.O |
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| ::TranceVanDyk:: |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
How is serial monogamy (one right after another) any better than polygamy? |
one, u have one partner, the other u have several at the same time and u are their only partner.
basically when it comes to sex, they both are bad in my opinion. |
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| smokeape |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
How is serial monogamy (one right after another) any better than polygamy? |
It's legit.
:p
[[[smoke]]] |
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