|
:: The Friday Club :: (pg. 3)
|
View this Thread in Original format
| sunrise3500 |
| friday club eh? I'll join the breakfast club. |
|
|
| tachyon |
| quote: | Originally posted by Anomyst
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
|
i like it.
| quote: | Originally posted by Anomyst
everybody is on drugs according to the Dr.P Clubbers Guide.
|
it's true, i took caffeine daily, can't handle my day without them! :toothless
:thepirate |
|
|
| Dr P |
i never said everybody was on drugs.
just anybody outside a scene I love thinks it.
now I am breaking my own rule.... |
|
|
| Anomyst |
| they all break. PLUR |
|
|
| sunrise3500 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Philby
two cows with guns... |
fixed. :) |
|
|
| alex_cooke |
Well isn't this just random. Ben, have you been smoking/drinking at all while posting any of these, or was it completely sober randomness?
AC -x0x- |
|
|
| Anomyst |
BLACK WOMEN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real
expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.
WHITE WOMEN:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary
position.
IRISH WOMEN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti &
meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a
3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the
thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.
JEWISH WOMEN:
First Date: You get terrific head.
Second Date: You get even more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.
CHINESE WOMEN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing
happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing
happens again
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and
you've already realized nothing is ever going to happen.
INDIAN WOMEN:
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.
MEXICAN WOMEN:
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila,
and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his
girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her
grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins her
sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on
rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be
nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.
ARAB WOMEN:
First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts,
Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out.
Second Date: Guy is shot dead.
No third date. |
|
|
| Anomyst |
A little education
In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat
his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule
of thumb".
Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled
"Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered
into the English language.
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred
and Wilma Flintstone
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour:
61,000
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king in
history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in
the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front
leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in
battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of
natural causes.
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go
until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
>> Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and
>> laser printers all have in common?
>> A. All invented by women.
>> Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
>> A. Honey
>> IIn Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by
>> ropes.
>> When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the
>> bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep
>> tight."
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a
month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with
all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar
was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know
today as the honeymoon.
>> In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old
>> England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them
>> "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."
>> It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
>> Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into
>> the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a
>> refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle"
>> is the phrase inspired by this practice.
>> Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you
>> can read it.
>> I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd
>> waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan
>> mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
>> it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod
>> are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and
>> lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
>> taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
>> Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey
>> lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
>> Amzanig huh?
~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow |
|
|
| eROs.au |
lol thats mad.
where did u get it from? |
|
|
| Philby |
| quote: | Originally posted by Anomyst
~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow |
i was waiting for that hahaha
i think need to find a nice jewish or irish girl... |
|
|
| pkcRAISTLIN |
ahhhhh, friday afternoon. 8 mins til knock off. awesome.
id like to extend well-wishes to all of you (even you house lovers) and hope you all have a wonderful (& safe) weekend, and have lots of funny things to say to keep me entertained next week :)
for those of you that are working, what else can be said?
unlucky!!!! :cool: |
|
|
|
|
