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Advice COR! (pg. 4)
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| Rodrico |
| quote: | Originally posted by jonze234
id ask the guy what he meant. its possible that everyone is over reacting about this. |
Usually is the case, which is why I gave her the response to ask the guy calmly about it and see where he comes from. But Im still boggling over the fact you said her boyfriend has a problem sticking up for himself. It's a bad assumption. |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Rodrico
How does one incident indicate that her boyfriend has a problem with sticking up for himself? |
no he does...he's not the most confident person, but we're working on that. he NEVER speaks up and i have to dig things out of him, but in the last month or so, i've already noticed a difference. i mean just the fact that he brought this up to me shows that he feels more and more comfortable expressing things. and plus i think he doesn't want to like start with my friends and be the " boyfriend" so he just asked me instead. but i have a feeling he's the type who would probably in lose it if he was provoked enough on a bad day. i tease him about it.
he told me that he loves it that i'm very assertive and stick up for myself and he's really attracted to that, and wants to be like that himself. he said the only time he ever is really agressive and arrogant is when he's on the basketball court. other than that, he seems like the type who wouldn't hurt a fly. he's just too much of a nice guy.
oh yea, and i'm perfectly aware of the fact that this could all be one big misunderstanding, but i trust craig's judgment and he said he felt like an ass...like my friend was talking down to him. and i know exactly what he means cuz i've seen my friend talk that way before...like he's so full of himself.
so we'll see...i'm gonna talk to him about it in person this weekend. |
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| jonze234 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Rodrico
Usually is the case, which is why I gave her the response to ask the guy calmly about it and see where he comes from. But Im still boggling over the fact you said her boyfriend has a problem sticking up for himself. It's a bad assumption. |
the guy gave her a book to break up and seems to avoid confrontations. im not saying he needs to be picking fights but if something bothered him enough to bring it up to jamie then he should have brought it up to the guy. |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by jonze234
the guy gave her a book to break up and seems to avoid confrontations. im not saying he needs to be picking fights but if something bothered him enough to bring it up to jamie then he should have brought it up to the guy. |
no i disagree... i think it was a good idea to ask me what i thought of it first instead of just like, "yo dude is there a problem?" it would have ruined the night. my friend walked away from him before he could even say anything anyway. and now it's been too long for him to bring it up, so i'd just rather ask him.
but then again, if that would have happened to me (like one of his female friends snapping at me) i definitely would have said something right then and there. but everyone is different. |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
lol yes i was totally wondering...and now i'm crushed jason.
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don't worry you're not missing out on much :nervous: |
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| Rodrico |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
no he does...he's not the most confident person, but we're working on that. he NEVER speaks up and i have to dig things out of him, but in the last month or so, i've already noticed a difference. i mean just the fact that he brought this up to me shows that he feels more and more comfortable expressing things. and plus i think he doesn't want to like start with my friends and be the " boyfriend" so he just asked me instead. but i have a feeling he's the type who would probably in lose it if he was provoked enough on a bad day. i tease him about it.
he told me that he loves it that i'm very assertive and stick up for myself and he's really attracted to that, and wants to be like that himself. he said the only time he ever is really agressive and arrogant is when he's on the basketball court. other than that, he seems like the type who wouldn't hurt a fly. he's just too much of a nice guy.
oh yea, and i'm perfectly aware of the fact that this could all be one big misunderstanding, but i trust craig's judgment and he said he felt like an ass...like my friend was talking down to him. and i know exactly what he means cuz i've seen my friend talk that way before...like he's so full of himself.
so we'll see...i'm gonna talk to him about it in person this weekend. |
Well, Im not sure were on the same page. From what im reading im getting mixed messages about what your boyfriend is about. I think its because were grouping different characteristics all into one big meshed group called "Confidence". I find that him sharing or expressing feelings with you is his way of showing his comfort level with you, not his confidence. Him standing up for himself is confidence. Even though technically confidence is a word to describe his trust for you, I dont think its the same kind of confidence for both. But I guess if you say he has a problem with it, Ill take your word for it. |
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| Slylee |
well yea i guess u have a point. he felt comfortable with me, but he's still not confident enough to stand up to someone who acts like a dick to him. i'm sure the comment by my friend threw him off a bit and it was probably still registering in his head by the time my friend walked away...leaving my boyfriend thinking, "HUH? wtf?"
he's weird...i'm still figuring him out. i don't think he would stick up for himself the way i would for myself...but i get the feeling that if we were ever out and some guy was completely disrespecting me, he'd go ape .
he's just a real genuine guy from ohio and i don't think he feels comfortable in south beach...he doesn't fit in cuz he's too damn nice, and i'll be damned if people are going to make him feel like crap for being nice. |
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| MeLLyMeL |
here's the problem..
What club did you go too and why didn't you text melly??
:toothless |
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| Rodrico |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
well yea i guess u have a point. he felt comfortable with me, but he's still not confident enough to stand up to someone who acts like a dick to him. i'm sure the comment by my friend threw him off a bit and it was probably still registering in his head by the time my friend walked away...leaving my boyfriend thinking, "HUH? wtf?"
he's weird...i'm still figuring him out. i don't think he would stick up for himself the way i would for myself...but i get the feeling that if we were ever out and some guy was completely disrespecting me, he'd go ape .
he's just a real genuine guy from ohio and i don't think he feels comfortable in south beach...he doesn't fit in cuz he's too damn nice, and i'll be damned if people are going to make him feel like crap for being nice. |
He may not be the most confident person, but I wouldnt go so far as to say its a major problem then. But then again you have to be the judge of that, since all of us dont really know him. I think its that situation where he was just confused and dumbfounded by your friends actions to where he was unsure of what to do at first. I personally dont like to start things with people unless I know for a fact there is a problem between me and that person. I wouldnt credit his actions towards cowardice. |
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| Slylee |
sorry...i should have clarified. he definitely has a problem with it..and i don't mean that in a way like i just think it...he has openly admitted this to me. he keeps everything inside and "deals" with it...i asked him if he's ok with that or if he would like to be more expressive...he wants to be able to express himself. i've been helping him a lot with it so far. :)
i love him. he's so cute.
ok sorry.
lol |
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| Rodrico |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
i love him. he's so cute.
ok sorry.
lol |
Unnecessary, but you are forgiven. |
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