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Would you introduce your children to partying ??? (pg. 3)
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| psiico111 |
I chose no kids (not because I want to party, I just don't want kids) but if I were to have them I would be totally open and honest about everything. Here's why: my parents divorced when I was 2 and I was raised by my dad until I turned 16 then I moved in with my mother. My dad pretended to be this upstanding citizen who never did anything wrong whereas my mother was always open and honest about things. To this day I see my dad as a joke and my mother as someone to respect. Why? Because she respected me enough to tell me the truth and let me make the right choices on my own based on what she (and my dad) had taught me growing up. Would I bring my kid to a club? Possibly, that would depend on what sort of relationship we had and what sort of kid they were, what the club scene is like at that time, etc...
I have a niece in NWT, she lives in a small town you need to fly in to. A couple of years back when she was 14 she started getting in trouble with drugs and drinking, skipping school, stuff like that. My brother is long out of the picture and she wouldn't listen to her mom or grandad (my dad) so he asked me to talk to her. I told her I knew what she was going through (I had lived in Yellowknife at that age) and I understood but what she needed to do was be sensible. Rather then do what everyone else was doing and tell her to not drink or do drugs I told her to be smart about it, don't do it when you have school, don't get high everyday, don't skip school, remember that there's a life waiting for her when she grows up and this is the time when she could ruin that life. Guess what? It worked. She still has fun with her friends but at least she's going to school now and might someday do something with herself besides be a loser on welfare with 5 kids at the age of 25. |
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| Ashley |
Having a child myself, I chose No. I agree with Chinamon, if she finds it herself, and she is an appropriate age, then I will tell her the dangers and what is all involved. There are a lof of scary things that I have seen in my "partying days" that I would never want my daughter to see.
I still go out to parties once in a while, cause I love the music so much, but I don't do the other "things" that are associated with partying. Not cool to be sketched around your kid. |
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| evil_cookie |
| quote: | Originally posted by psiico111
I have a niece in NWT...
a couple of years back when she was 14 she started getting in trouble with drugs and drinking, skipping school, stuff like that...
Rather then do what everyone else was doing and tell her to not drink or do drugs I told her to be smart about it... |
you told a 14 year old girl, to be smart about doing drugs and drinking?
parent of the year, ladies and gentlemen.
Vasectomy. Look into it. |
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| EvilTree |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ashley
Having a child myself, I chose No. I agree with Chinamon, if she finds it herself, and she is an appropriate age, then I will tell her the dangers and what is all involved. There are a lof of scary things that I have seen in my "partying days" that I would never want my daughter to see.
I still go out to parties once in a while, cause I love the music so much, but I don't do the other "things" that are associated with partying. Not cool to be sketched around your kid. |
Please. You see worse on TV and in movies than you'd see.
Only difference is that TV is fake and life is real.
More you try to hide stuff from your kids, more they'll likely fall into it.
Yes, there are time and place to tell them stuff. But to try to hide what the world really is like just silly.
Better educate them yourself, then they go out and 'experiment'. |
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| EvilTree |
| quote: | Originally posted by evil_cookie
you told a 14 year old girl, to be smart about doing drugs and drinking?
parent of the year, ladies and gentlemen.
Vasectomy. Look into it. |
Look on the other side.
Sex ed starts at grade 5 IIRC and sex IMO can be more dangerous than drinking and drugs.
Not saying I agree with telling kids about how to do drugs and drinking however. |
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| kabelicious |
| quote: | Originally posted by EvilTree
Look on the other side.
Sex ed starts at grade 5 IIRC and sex IMO can be more dangerous than drinking and drugs.
Not saying I agree with telling kids about how to do drugs and drinking however. |
When I was growing up, I didn't drink till I was in college and I didn't try drugs until I was graduated from college. On the other side of the coin, my sister drank by the time she was in 7th grade and was trying drugs out like E during high school classes!
Things like drugs, drink, and sex are in middle schools now as compared to never in previous decades. I would prefer to educate my children on what is out there (i.e. WARN THEM) and, if they like the scene, to be there for them rather than shut them out and judge them for something I loved my tenure in.
I have known parents who do still party - who take the kids to their parent's house to babysit them and then have parties at their house when the children aren't around. I honestly don't know how I feel about that but I do know parents who need that timeout once in a great while.
*shrug*
I doubt I will ever have children but if I do, I intend to be honest with them.
*Edit*
When I say "in the scene", I mean into the music, not the drugs. The drugs I would not support but if they love the music, I would warn them on what can happen, what drugs are, etc. |
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| Ashley |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ashley
Having a child myself, I chose No. I agree with Chinamon, if she finds it herself, and she is an appropriate age, then I will tell her the dangers and what is all involved. There are a lof of scary things that I have seen in my "partying days" that I would never want my daughter to see. |
| quote: | Originally posted by EvilTree
But to try to hide what the world really is like just silly. |
Please highlight where I said that I would hide things from my daughter. I have just seen some things that have really scared me that I wouldn't want her to see. |
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| Jem_hadar |
| quote: | Originally posted by kabelicious
I have known parents who do still party - who take the kids to their parent's house to babysit them and then have parties at their house when the children aren't around. I honestly don't know how I feel about that but I do know parents who need that timeout once in a great while.
*shrug*
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If the system works, and the grandparents dont mind, why not.
Your entitled to a night of fun, maybe not every weekend in and weekend out for 2 or 3 solid days, but nothing says you cant enjoy life as you did before so long as all your priorities are staright!
My god, how much wouldnt most kids wanna visit grandma and grandpa when younger... and if theyre still too young to really know... well maybe they forged an even stronger bond w/ their grandparents... most grandparents i know are happy to take the grandkids anyways too... love spending the extra time w/ them.
jenn adn terry often do this and it works out great and i dont see anything wrong w/ it at all. |
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| Elendil |
| If my children can't know, or partake in what I'm doing (provided they are old enough), then I'm doing a terrible job as a father. Hell yes they can party with me, and hell yes I'm going to get my family into the scene. |
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| jchung52 |
| quote: | Originally posted by chinamon
the problem with that is they might enjoy it and never leave. then you've got a crackhead son/daughter to deal with. |
very true. ive been twice and i find it too sketchy for me. maybe cuz im asian and the fact i almost got jumped at guv by sketchy azns |
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| *~LiSa-LoO~* |
| I'm way too young to be thinking about kids. |
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| psiico111 |
| quote: | Originally posted by evil_cookie
you told a 14 year old girl, to be smart about doing drugs and drinking?
parent of the year, ladies and gentlemen.
Vasectomy. Look into it. |
Correction, that would be uncle of the year.:)
But seriously, you seem to have missed the part about her already doing drugs and drinking and skipping school, sex wasn't mentioned but I know that was going on too, as I said, I was once where she is. Everyone else was telling her not to do those things at all and she shut them all out, if anything, she got her back up about it and got worse with the way it was told to me. All I did was buck the trend and try to communicate with her in a way she would understand. Was it the best thing to do? No, but it did work. It was a better thing to do then what everyone else was doing. She's in school everyday now and from what I understand doing well plus her mother says she doesn't come home on Friday and Saturday nights out of it like she used to. This happened 2 years ago and she's still doing well. I may be a crappy uncle in your opinion but I did have an influence over her that put her in a better place then she'd have been in had she continued down the same road. I didn't tell her how to do it, she already knew, I told her how to be responsible about it. She listened to me where she wasn't listening to anyone else except her friends who I'm sure if they were anything like my friends at the time were constantly preaching to do things to excess.
If you haven't lived in a small town in the middle of no where it'd be difficult I think for you to understand how mind numbingly boring it can be to be a teen. There's nothing to do but drink, get high and screw. Add peer pressure to the boredom and it's no wonder kids in Nfld are getting pregnant at 14 and kids in NWT are hooked on sniffing glue or gasoline and drinking Lysol. And no before you freak out, I didn't say it was okay to sniff glue or drink Lysol, but kids up there do it. I knew 11 year olds who had been chewing tobacco from the age of 7 when I lived there. In Nfld we stuck to the booze and hashish, NWT kids were harsh in their habits. |
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