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Anal sex appreciation thread. (pg. 29)
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| Esiotrat |
I never understood why guys trip over buttsex. It's a hole that has 2 functions and 2 functions only. It's for farts and caca. It's dirty and filthy, why would u wanna stick ur pen0r in there? ewwww
imagine if she's had some spicy Indian food and an accident happens while u're doing the dirty <---(Such an appropriate word in this case), and all of a sudden she shprootzes some nasty outta there.. :nervous:
U're just never satisfied, u already got the puntan, but u get tired of it and u want something tighter so u go for the butthole...next thing u know u'll go for the ear or the nostril cuz the butthole ain't tight enough anymore.. :nervous:
Ladies, we're running out of holes!!! |
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| idoru |
| quote: | Originally posted by Enigmatik
next thing u know u'll go for the ear or the nostril cuz the butthole ain't tight enough anymore.. :nervous: |
I'd bet $10 that if you searched hard enough you'd find plenty of people into that sort of thing. |
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| Frenchie |
Yes, we call those people blonds.
j/k, I read about people who have ear sex. Which leads me to think that is where hearing aids come from. |
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| Aristronica |
Alright well that story will take too long so here's a shorter one.
Spring break 2005, myself and Steve (my roommate in college/best friend - pic on myspace @ Sound-bar) decided to spend it down in Corpus Christi - and actually plenty of stories that came from that little trip, but this one actually happened on the way back up to school.
We decided to stop see his x-girl in Houston, she went to SMU. She was blowing up his cell all the way down and all the time there so he was like " it dude, we gotta go."... so we went. They broke up because the whole being at separate colleges thing wasn't working out, but you could tell they were very much still in love, so how could I say no?
First of all, if you're a guy, and you've never been to Houston, in' GO! Amazing town, there's nightly live music, weather is awesome, and the girls (it would seem) all have blonde hair and large fake breasts - which my take on it is: if it's under the skin, it's real.
We go up to her apartment and I'm already excited with anticipation - she lives with three other girls, and two of them don't have boyfriends. Considering Steve is gonna be hitting up his X, I thought I had pretty good odds of "something" happening. The two girls were alright, one had a really cute face but was... bigger. Now she wasn't fat, in fact not at all, I'd call her well-filled out and rounded, but she was proportionate and that's all that mattered. The other girl was a bombshell, fake and all. The one with the boyfriend was the best out of the bunch, but believe it or not I have some morals. We went out to this lounge and immediately I decided I was gonna get the two remaining contestants to sleep with me tonight. It was going to be an all or nothing effort. They shared a bedroom, they both went into the bathroom to get dressed - an obvious comfort level on nudity around each other. And something told me they might have had a freaky drunk night together - there was just a closeness there that doesn't exist with most girls. I figured start at the bottom. We were drinking and started to dance and stuff and I jumped on the bigger one first. This girl took care of herself. Her skin was smooth and soft, and the extra cushion was amazing to press up against, she grinded her ass into me like she wanted me to do her right then and there on the dance floor, but I couldn't lose sight of my goal. ...Let's get names in, the soft-skinned girl is Alyssa, and participant #2 is Pernel... I asked Pernel to dance next and whadoyaknow - Groove Coverage - Poison comes on. The girl gets all excited and proclaims she loves Euro, at this point I know my hook, after I dance her ass off and get complimented we go back to the table where Steve, almost on cue, brings up the fact that I DJ (nowadays who doesn't but Pernel doesn't know that) she gets excited, starts asking me a bunch questions. And while I eagerly answer I'm thinking "Gotcha bitch!"
We go back, and I'm drunk but not that far, ohh no I purposely kept myself in bounds for this session. You could tell the inexperience of Alyssa because she already grabbed my hand and was dragging me to the bedroom. I realized that I had her but would take some time to convince Pernel, she was a bit more classy. She smoked so I asked her if she wanted to have one with me on their patio. As we stood out there, our breaths foul of alcohol and cigs, light rain sprinkling over us - I didn't listen to a word she said, when the time seemed right I leaned in and kissed her. Not like went all out, but a "polite" little kiss on her lips.
"What was that for?"
*shrug* "Wanted to get that in before I never see you again..."
Next thing I know she was on me, I don't know what exactly just happened but we were in the backyard, on the patio, rain around us just making out, feeling all over each other. Then she went for it, I have no idea if it was something I said or did, but she just went for the dick. Pulled it out of my pants and her mouth was all over it. She had a skirt on so I jacked that up and started some exploratory work with my fingers - it was good to go. As she came up to kiss me, I didn't care I did it, because her not finishing me could only mean one thing, she wanted me inside, and I rocked it. Now I should put a disclaimer in - this was a very stupid idea - I could've easily gotten STDs or her pregnant, so kids don't do like this, just because I get lucky doesn't mean you will. But GOD did it feel good. I had her pinned to the boards of the patio, even though the rain wasn't bad our clothes were soaked at this point, and I was close to pulling out and going into her mouth... when we heard someone coming down the steps to the patio. I quickly pulled out, she stood up, as I tucked my in - both of us looking disheveled and soaked, down came Alyssa (!) "Did you guys fall asleep down here or something?" (ohh you drunk bitch!)... "No just having a conversation that's all." (thank you Pernel!) As we're walking up after Alyssa - "You're in my bed tonight."
We came back upstairs, my raging boner dying down, and had a couple more drinks before Steve and his X went off to her bedroom. Alyssa passed out on the couch and I could tell my evening was going to end up with Pernel. My plan failed, but I was bangin' a hottie and I still tried my best. If Alyssa didn't pass out I might've been able to pull it off, but alas! it was not to be. I pulled out and busted all over Pernel, cleaned it off with a towel, lay there for a little bit and she passed out... I had to pee. I walked out to go to the bathroom, completely naked, and as I walk in guess who's at the mirror... "Hi!", while Alyssa just stares. She's in her panties and I'm excited, my starts going up and all I can think of is 'the worst she can say is no'. So yeah I go for it and regardless she's down too. As we're about to get down on the bathroom floor she stops me and says she's not on birth control... I go down there, I start eating her out, then move to her ass, as I'm slowly massaging her clit and eating her out I drop a finger in there - she's relaxed, she'd done this before. I pull her up to the toilet, sit down and have her sit on my lap facing away from me. I work up my spit and lube up her and my dick. She's dripping wet, which helps - I use that too. Slowly easing into her ass I continued to massage everything down there and she turned back to me to kiss (you gotta keep them distracted with the kisses too). As I pump faster she let's out little moans but gets into it, starts dropping down and pulling up. I get up, bend her over the bathtub and just rock it. She starts getting herself off while I am all over her chest with my hands. And sure enough she goes, she clenches up, which means I had to come to a dead halt lest I give her the pink sock ;), and her legs shake. I find this hot as hell for some reason and go too. As we stand there, waiting for her to calm down so I can get my out, right then and there I decided that it is good to sleep with two women in one night, but seperately. You get to enjoy them individually and find out what kinds of things each one is into. I'm not sure Pernel would've let me in her ass, hot chicks tend to not need to go for that. While Alyssa, being on the lower end of the hot spectrum, had to probably subject herself to this type of thing before in compensation for that.
Which also made me realize this - a girl that just gives up the butt, is definitely not relationship worthy. Anal is a very special thing, not to be thrown down on a drunk night. When you're in a relationship and it takes time and effort in order to finally get it - that's the girl you keep, that's the girl that knows her own worth and respects herself. And frankly if she can't respect herself, how can you?
As we drove to WI the next day I knew Pernel was someone I could've easily had a relationship with. She wasn't a slut persay, I knew what one looked like. But she knew she had to have me because there was that chance she'd never see me again. She let her inhibitions go and we had a beautiful night together. As for Alyssa, she could definitely carry herself differently. She wasn't a bad looking girl, in fact in WI she would've been considered hot, but because she grew up in that environment she envisioned herself having to do all that extra in order to "get the guy". Now I shouldn't have cared, I got what I wanted and I was on the way out (with no phone numbers exchanged) however I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her. |
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| Slylee |
:crazy: :eyes:
:stongue:
u have the best stories lol |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by Aristronica
Which also made me realize this - a girl that just gives up the butt, is definitely not relationship worthy. Anal is a very special thing, not to be thrown down on a drunk night. When you're in a relationship and it takes time and effort in order to finally get it - that's the girl you keep, that's the girl that knows her own worth and respects herself. And frankly if she can't respect herself, how can you?
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LOL, I love how this part was thrown in. But it's very true. :)
No to mention that it's REALLY unhygienic...you gotta wonder how clean a girl is that does anal all the time with multiple partners. Even if you use condoms every time there are still huge risks. |
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| Aristronica |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
:crazy: :eyes:
:stongue:
u have the best stories lol |
if there's one thing i learned so far... and really the only thing, is that in order to have the best desireable night... or life really, you must go in full of self-confidence and be always willing to take risks. again - the worst possible thing that can happen, at least to me, is that she says no and i sleep with my dick in my hand - which, after years of practice and experimentation, isn't that bad of a thing either... |
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| Aristronica |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
it's REALLY unhygienic...you gotta wonder how clean a girl is that does anal all the time with multiple partners. Even if you use condoms every time there are still huge risks. |
+1. But as long as you stay away from the three H's you're ok. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by Aristronica
+1. But as long as you stay away from the three H's you're ok. |
LOL
Herpes, HIV, and?? Hepatitis? |
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| Aristronica |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
LOL
Herpes, HIV, and?? Hepatitis? |
ding ding and ding |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Aristronica
in fact in WI she would've been considered hot |
lol
thanks for another fine story, slutface! :gsmile: |
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| Aristronica |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
lol
thanks for another fine story, slutface! :gsmile: |
:o that's former slutface... i've retired. |
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