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Wow this sucks major monkey balls (pg. 4)
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
he better not be having 2nd thoughts and trying to get me back because i might fall for it. |
I'd say that's probably the case. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by Aristronica
yeah listen to jenny.
and then when you get married and have kids and he molests your 13-16 yr old daughter you can thank her for the sound advice she gave you... |
Oh please, I doubt the guy's a molester. Again, I'm only going on what I know of their relationship. If there's more to it..than so be it. I was just throwing it out there as food for thought. She can regard or disregard at her leisure! |
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| Slylee |
no i totally hear you and my mom has said the same thing. she thought i should go to a therapist and get their take on it...like see if i'm the one with the problem.
but i was willing to be ok with it...remember, i said that it just really bugged me that he could just be like open about it. i was really cool in confronting him. i was just like, "listen i dont care if u watch porn, but can u just tone it down a bit and not watch it every single day when i'm at work?" lol
i was honestly being very cool about it..but i dunno in the end it gave me a complex and i was hurt.
just imagine if all of a sudden jenny you discovered that your bf was watching it all day (if he was in school and didn't work, so he was home a lot) while you were at work, and this was TOTAL news to you because he always lead you to think he wasn't that type of guy. it was like a whole other side to him...it caught me off guard. |
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| MrJiveBoJingles |
So did he work at home, then? Or a different time from you?
Or did all of his time without you consist solely of porn? :wtf: |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Justkillingtime
That's not the point, though. He let your relationship dissolve because he was too to be open with the fact that he was a pervert. If he would rather watch this than to work out the issues with you, what does that say about his respect for your feelings? |
yea that was exactly my thoughts, and why i left him. it was the hardest thing i've ever had to do because i loved him so much and it was crushing me to leave him, but i didn't want to be that stupid chick holding onto a joke of a relationship like that. he was just too immature to communicate about it. |
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| Aristronica |
look that's borderline crazy.
i mean a little porn is always good. but if i was living with a girl, and ing the out of her and all that good stuff (you even said you're ok with period sex i believe). i might sneak in a little anal porn on the weekends, and even then probably watch it with her.
i honestly don't think you're the one with a problem, cuz i'm as perverted as they get and it seems strange to me. |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
So did he work at home, then? Or a different time from you?
Or did all of his time without you consist solely of porn? :wtf: |
he is in grad school living off student loan money. so he'll have like a couple classes in the morning and be done for the day.
i was working a normal job. and that was another thing. he put up all the money for us to move in and then i was slowly paying him back and i even started working TWO jobs because i was having a difficult time paying him back ON TOP of paying my normal share of the bills. but really, i was just paying for EVERYTHING including the whole rent, because we would just count that as me paying him back.
but when i love someone and i'm with them, what's mine is their's and it was like a roommate situation w/ the finances. that bothered me too.
lol i guess a lot bothered me. |
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| Moral Hazard |
| Jamie, the nub of it all is that you and Craig moved way too quickly. The net result was that he recoiled from you in an attempt to retain some semblence of autonomy and you found out things about him you were not comfortable with too quickly for either of you to adjust. Essentially, you had too much familiarity with each other too soon. My advise remains the same, don't rule out a future relationship with Craig but don't jump into one either. Take it slow. Try not to define your relationship going forward by what it was in the past. In time both of you will either demonstrate that he has overcome the character flaws that resulted in your break up or you won't. If you do then you can explore starting anew, if you don't then take comfort in the fact that the two of you simply don't work together. |
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| Jansa |
I didn't read the whole thread, so if someone's already pointed this out, then I'm sorry.
The dude's all of a sudden showing interest in stuff you like and he didn't give a toss about before?
Making you feel all sentimental?
Reminds you of the good ol days?
This is the perfect mind- to get a woman back. Trust me, I've used this since I was 14. Works almost every time.
He's manipulating with you. This is not some good side of him that's just accidentally coming out without him being aware of it.
I don't know what happened between you two, or who left who. But I do know, that IT'S A TARP!! |
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| Aristronica |
maybe you're both crazy?
/thread. |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Aristronica
look that's borderline crazy.
i mean a little porn is always good. but if i was living with a girl, and ing the out of her and all that good stuff (you even said you're ok with period sex i believe). i might sneak in a little anal porn on the weekends, and even then probably watch it with her.
i honestly don't think you're the one with a problem, cuz i'm as perverted as they get and it seems strange to me. |
thank you. and i'm a pretty big pervert myself and it bugged me too. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
just imagine if all of a sudden jenny you discovered that your bf was watching it all day (if he was in school and didn't work, so he was home a lot) while you were at work, and this was TOTAL news to you because he always lead you to think he wasn't that type of guy. it was like a whole other side to him...it caught me off guard. |
Yup for sure, you're 100% right. I HAVE experienced this with my bf, after we got back together. When we were "coming clean" about our escapades during our break up, I found things out that I NEVER thought he would do.
It was hurtful because it went SO against the person I thought he was, and it was totally out of character for him. But then I realized that he still WAS the person I thought he was...and the only real issue was my bruised ego. It stung like a bitch for a while, but boy am I ever glad I got the over that. I look back and it seems so silly...but yeah, I feel proud of myself that I could truly get over something like that.
I think in your case...with the porn, that's clearly a lot different. The implications that has on a relationship are far greater than what happened to me. In your case it's both his AND your problem...so that requires both of you to be on the same page, which I can understand why it would be difficult.
If it really is a problem for him, like any person with an addiction (or whatever, lol)...it puts people on the defensive, and yeah that REALLY s up communication.
Anyway...enough of that, lol. Getting a little too in depth here. I'll just stick to my original point that you should perhaps think a little bit more about this situation, and really consider what you need, what you may regret, what you could learn...blahblah. Especially since it DOES sound like you've got some emotions involved here. |
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