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back to the city or...not?
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| AndreaCKY772 |
well...i'm in a bit of a situation right now. i'm graduating from college this spring and i'm considering taking a year off to work and then going to graduate school.
i'm from cambridge and i love the city so i'd be happy to return back where i'm near boston.
BUT my bf wants me to live with him over here in western mass around in or around amherst. it wouldn't be easy for him to move and i wouldn't want him to have to move because his law office is set up over here and he is established over here. i do think i would be miserable living out in western mass because it's not the city and i feel there isn't much to do... if i DID stay out here, at least i could go back to umass for graduate school easier, but i'm just torn right now.
part of me thinks i'm being irrational for mainly wanting to be near the city, but part of me feels i'm too young to live out here and not have as much fun as i could. i'm not sure if i'm just too used to the city area... |
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| UWM |
| quote: | Originally posted by AndreaCKY772
part of me thinks i'm being irrational for mainly wanting to be near the city, but part of me feels i'm too young to live out here and not have as much fun as i could. . |
How is it irrational to have a preference as to where you would like to spend your life? |
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| lücid |
i speak from experience when i say this... but you're too young to be living with your boyfriend. especially if you think you'd be miserable living that far away from the city.
how much distance would be between the 2 of you if you moved back to Cambridge and he stayed where he is? is a long distance relationship something either of you would consider?
bottom line - you should go where YOU are going to be the happiest. |
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| AndreaCKY772 |
| quote: | Originally posted by UWM
How is it irrational to have a preference as to where you would like to spend your life? |
i thought it might have been irrational because my boyfriend loves me and he wants me to be with him, but i was considering being in the city over being over with him in western mass. |
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| D-res |
| having grown up in a town with a population less than 20,000 and now living in the city, I couldn't imagine going back. Even on nights when I'm bored here, I know I'd be 1000x more bored back home. Unless the relationship you're in is truly worth sacrificing your youthfulness, I wouldn't think twice about moving back to the city if I was in your position. |
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| Project-K |
| It's not irrational at all. Your environment plays a huge part in your day-to-day life. If you're not happy in the country, don't stay there. I for one couldn't stand living anywhere to far from a major metropolis. It's a completely different social environment. |
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| AndreaCKY772 |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
i speak from experience when i say this... but you're too young to be living with your boyfriend. especially if you think you'd be miserable living that far away from the city.
how much distance would be between the 2 of you if you moved back to Cambridge and he stayed where he is? is a long distance relationship something either of you would consider?
bottom line - you should go where YOU are going to be the happiest. |
yes, i do feel i'm too young to live with a bf right now. the distance would be an hour and a half to two hours away. it's cool with me, but he thinks we would drift apart and it wouldn't work. i wouldn't mind the long distance, but he would. :( |
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| UWM |
| quote: | Originally posted by AndreaCKY772
i thought it might have been irrational because my boyfriend loves me and he wants me to be with him, but i was considering being in the city over being over with him in western mass. |
It's obvious that if you're having trouble picking between living with your boyfriend in a boring town vs living in the city that you belong living in the city. |
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| Project-K |
| quote: | Originally posted by AndreaCKY772
yes, i do feel i'm too young to live with a bf right now. the distance would be an hour and a half to two hours away. it's cool with me, but he thinks we would drift apart and it wouldn't work. i wouldn't mind the long distance, but he would. :( |
That's really not too bad. An hour and a half is what it takes me to get home. Just make sure you've got a decent mp3 player or car stereo and you're all set. :p |
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| mezzir |
rofl
move out to cambridge, we can carpool
my girlfriend lives in boston now
me and your bf can drive out together, we'll save some gas |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by AndreaCKY772
yes, i do feel i'm too young to live with a bf right now. the distance would be an hour and a half to two hours away. it's cool with me, but he thinks we would drift apart and it wouldn't work. i wouldn't mind the long distance, but he would. :( |
that's not bad, believe me. my bf and i live 2 hours apart and we've been doing the long distance thing for almost 2 years now.
i can see how it might be hard to go from seeing someone every day to seeing them only on the weekends, but if you really feel like you're too young to be living with him (and i totally agree - been there, done that - bad idea!) then you need to tell him exactly how you feel. if both of you are in love and very serious about the relationship, you'll find ways to make it work. there's no reason for you to sacrifice YOUR happiness just to make things more convenient for him.
how much older than you is he? |
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| AndreaCKY772 |
| quote: | Originally posted by mezzir
rofl
move out to cambridge, we can carpool
my girlfriend lives in boston now
me and your bf can drive out together, we'll save some gas |
haha yeah...good times
| quote: | Originally posted by Project-K
That's really not too bad. An hour and a half is what it takes me to get home. Just make sure you've got a decent mp3 player or car stereo and you're all set. :p |
and you don't mind the drive, right? i don't think i would have a problem with driving back and forth...
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
that's not bad, believe me. my bf and i live 2 hours apart and we've been doing the long distance thing for almost 2 years now.
i can see how it might be hard to go from seeing someone every day to seeing them only on the weekends, but if you really feel like you're too young to be living with him (and i totally agree - been there, done that - bad idea!) then you need to tell him exactly how you feel. if both of you are in love and very serious about the relationship, you'll find ways to make it work. there's no reason for you to sacrifice YOUR happiness just to make things more convenient for him.
how much older than you is he? |
that gives me some faith that long distance can work! that's awesome it's been almost 2 years.
i do admit, i told him i wouldn't like it out here, but i haven't told him truly truly exactly how i feel. it just seems that every timewe talk about what will happen after i gradate, we talk in cicrcles and nothing is resolved. he tells me that there are bars and things out here, but it's nowhere NEAR the level it would be in the city. i told him i don't see myself being happy, but i don't think he gets it. i really have to tell him what's up. i really want to be with him, but i don't think i should have to be miserable living out here. he is 28 and i'm 21. i think he is just ready for bigger things than i am... i've been stressing myself over this situation for months and i'm getting to worked up over it. |
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