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Question about cheating + friends.... (pg. 4)
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| Halcyon+On+On |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
while i agree that best friends are hard to come by, is the person really that good of a friend if they thought it was a good idea to sleep with your significant other behind your back? none of my "best" friends have ever dicked me over like that. not even close. |
Neither have mine - I choose my friends very, very carefully. And I doubt that they thought it was a "good" idea - if they thought it was a good idea, you probably wouldn't be hearing about it. :stongue:
Like I said - it's situational. If they are a great friend you have known for a long time and they realize they made a mistake and they came to you to be honest with you about it, you don't think you could find it in yourself to forgive them? If they have a history of lying to you and going behind your back and/or mooching off your weed, that's another story. I love my best friends though and I realize that people make stupid mistakes - myself included. Friends are there to forgive; if you are unwilling to forgive your best friend for what they realize to be a big mistake in a momentary lapse of reason, what sort of best friend are you? |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ygrene
Swear to God, Jamie. Truth. |
sounds to me like you're just scared of feelings. i'd say you're waisting your time in a marriage if you'd honestly react that way after finding out she cheated. |
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| Ian |
| my 2 best friends are girls. If I found them sleeping with my girlfriend, I'd be a bit hurt, but I could always ask for 3-ways :p |
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| Slylee |
| oh well i thought u meant that's how u'd feel too because u were like, "i'm not an emotional person". sorry i was assuming u were saying you wouldn't be greatly affected by it. |
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| Ygrene |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
oh well i thought u meant that's how u'd feel too because u were like, "i'm not an emotional person". sorry i was assuming u were saying you wouldn't be greatly affected by it. |
Nononono, it would CRUSH me, which is why it would be completely over. She and I have already had this discussion too lol. I'm just saying how I would end it. I wouldn't swear and throw shoes and spraypaint someone's car or any of that crap. I wouldn't ask what happened, God I wouldn't even want to know.
For my best friend though, I'd probably call him a fvcker right to his face. Which, under the circumstances, would be kind of funny. |
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| cheshirepk8 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ygrene
Swear to God, Jamie. Truth.
EDIT:
I'm not saying I wouldn't be completely heartbroken and cry and all of that but, that's exactly how I would deal with it. |
i think i would:
go really quiet
take a deep breath
say goodbye
turn to walk away
and then spin back around and knock the f*cker out... (or id want to)
(a little different for a guy punching a girl)
it would take some time for the shock to wear off for me.
i don't think i would get emotional right away.
there would be a couple minute delay of normal brain processing.
i would like to punch the dude out, but again it depends...
it might be better to not give them the satisfaction of seeing me upset
or letting them self-pity with the "i deserved that".
i think it would be better to have the "brute squad" take care of it!
then again, i really dont' like getting upset in front of people. |
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| Slylee |
yea i see what you mean. in all honesty, i'd probably break down and cry obviously, but i would refrain from throwing a tantrum too. i'd just quietly pack my and leave and never speak to them again. usually when people cheat they expect you to act a certain way and they prepare for it, but if you just leave quietly and disappear, i think it's a stronger statement.
maybe way down the road i'd be cool with them again, but that's how i'd like to go out if (god forbid) that happened to me. |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On
Neither have mine - I choose my friends very, very carefully. And I doubt that they thought it was a "good" idea - if they thought it was a good idea, you probably wouldn't be hearing about it. :stongue:
Like I said - it's situational. If they are a great friend you have known for a long time and they realize they made a mistake and they came to you to be honest with you about it, you don't think you could find it in yourself to forgive them? If they have a history of lying to you and going behind your back and/or mooching off your weed, that's another story. I love my best friends though and I realize that people make stupid mistakes - myself included. Friends are there to forgive; if you are unwilling to forgive your best friend for what they realize to be a big mistake in a momentary lapse of reason, what sort of best friend are you? |
yeah, it's definitely a touchy situation... i'd rather they mooch off my weed than sleep with my boyfriend though. :thepirate
i guess it's truly hard to say how we'd all handle a situation like that, unless we've actually been through it before. i do have the ability to forgive people if i think they deserve it. i found out my ex cheated on me the day before i moved halfway across the US to be with him, and although we ended up breaking up not too long after that, we're still good friends. we were practically still kids when all of that happened though... and i think it'd be a whole different story now that i'm older.
Ian - all my closest friends are guys, so if i found out they slept with Rob i wouldn't even be mad... i'd actually be impressed. :wtf: |
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| cheshirepk8 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
yea i see what you mean. in all honesty, i'd probably break down and cry obviously, but i would refrain from throwing a tantrum too. i'd just quietly pack my and leave and never speak to them again. usually when people cheat they expect you to act a certain way and they prepare for it, but if you just leave quietly and disappear, i think it's a stronger statement.
maybe way down the road i'd be cool with them again, but that's how i'd like to go out if (god forbid) that happened to me. |
i agree... i think holding back the urge to explode is the best solution.
if they are your best friend, i am sure there are other people who will tweak too.
or at least i hope the mutual friends would freak out. jesus i would. |
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| verndogs |
| quote: | Originally posted by cheshirepk8
i think i would:
go really quiet
take a deep breath
say goodbye
turn to walk away
and then spin back around and knock the f*cker out... (or id want to)
(a little different for a guy punching a girl)
it would take some time for the shock to wear off for me.
i don't think i would get emotional right away.
there would be a couple minute delay of normal brain processing.
i would like to punch the dude out, but again it depends...
it might be better to not give them the satisfaction of seeing me upset
or letting them self-pity with the "i deserved that".
i think it would be better to have the "brute squad" take care of it!
then again, i really dont' like getting upset in front of people. |
honestly, it would take me around 5 minutes for me for the shock to wear off
i'm notoriously resilient when it comes to these types of things (except when my teams lose in tragic fashion...that obviously would take more than 5 minutes :p) |
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| Vlad |
| I follow the code, bro's before ho's. If my boy would rather my girl, than tell me shes a cheating whore - than I cut him and her off. If he tells me before hand, I tell the cvnt to off... and than he can go her all he wants. |
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| Frenchie |
| If he/she is your best friend...burn off the one who cheated on you , not the one who they chested with. I'd be pissed, but shot happens. |
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