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Delaying adulthood, floating forever in adolescence
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| MrJiveBoJingles |
One of the big traditional markers of adulthood is that you're financially and geographically independent of your parents -- you don't rely on them to pay for any of your needs or wants, and you don't live with them. Apparently this kind of independence is happening later and later for young people these days. There have been lots of articles written about "young adults" either living at home or depending on their parents for money through their 20s and even into their 30s. Here are a few:
http://www.time.com/time/printout/0...1018089,00.html
http://www.newsweek.com/id/156372/page/1
http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/w...anguage=printer
Lots of explanations have been offered for this phenomenon:
(1) "Immaturity" on the part of young people, perhaps encouraged by lax parenting.
(2) Unwillingness to make any strong commitments in jobs or relationships, perhaps out of fear of failure.
(3) Uncertainty of the job market or lack of good entry-level jobs.
(4) Unrealistic expectations instilled by parents who gave kids the impression that they could have all of their dreams.
(5) People being spoiled as kids by the economic boom of the 90s and wanting to extend the ease and affluence of their childhood into their adult lives.
(6) Kids being disillusioned by the lives of their parents, having seen them get run down by divorces or tedious jobs and deciding that adulthood and commitment maybe aren't all that great.
But anyway, more and more young people are trying to hold on to an existence as unformed adolescents, "trying out" jobs and romantic partners rather than committing to a career or a marriage, changing apartments every six months or year, and spending lots of spare time with carefree nights of video games or partying fueled by alcohol. Thoughts of the future remain pleasantly out of focus as they try to remain in a perpetual stage of "becoming," unwilling to deal with the prosaic and limiting reality of commitment, the suffocating sense of "being" something -- of having locked oneself into a boring life by choices made too hastily, before "enough" lifestyle options had been tried out.
Anyway, one common view on this is: So kids have figured out that the usual road of "get married and choose a career right out of college" often isn't all that great -- good for them! Let them try out something different and work out a life that isn't all planned out for them in advance, even if their parents and elders may not like it very much.
Another common view is: These kids just don't want to grow up, because they think that growing up means unhappiness and boredom. But if you look at the stats for depression and other psychological problems for young adults living alone, they're actually quite high, which casts a lot of doubt on the idea that this perpetual limbo is all that great a path to follow. Uncertainty and lack of responsibility have their pleasures, but so do commitment and predictability -- maybe young people should rethink their aversion to them.
So, what are your thoughts on all this? Is it a good thing? Bad thing? Inevitable? What, if anything, should be done about it? |
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| lücid |
| as long as you can listen to mp3s and talk on the internet from your mom's basement, life is swell. |
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| gehzumteufel |
| I would say that reason #5 is the most obvious reason. |
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| MrJiveBoJingles |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
as long as you can listen to mp3s and talk on the internet from your mom's basement, life is swell. |
That's what I always say. :clown: |
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| Sunsnail |
| Hey, I got some money. When I put it in the bank I'll send it back |
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| RJT |
I didn't see "$80,000 in debt and struggling to get a job after spending 5 years in undergrad" as one of the explanations.
:o |
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| MrJiveBoJingles |
| quote: | Originally posted by RJT
I didn't see "$80,000 in debt and struggling to get a job after spending 5 years in undergrad" as one of the explanations.
:o |
That's basically #3, i.e. lack of jobs that will suffice for your financial needs. |
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| MrJiveBoJingles |
| quote: | Originally posted by Sunsnail
Hey, I got some money. When I put it in the bank I'll send it back |
Cool, thanks. |
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| RJT |
| quote: | Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles
That's basically #3, i.e. lack of jobs that will suffice for your financial needs. |
Well I can certainly attest to the difficulty of finding jobs right now :(
I only found one through luck and family connections, and even that has been slow going.
I also really have to say I can't believe how some folks can stick around home as long as they can - financial question or not. Moving back to my hometown has been a less than epic experience, made even less so by the fact that I went to school specifically so I could support myself.
I've basically allowed myself two months to get my debt under control, job started, etc., and then it's definitely right back out. I love my family, but with absolutely no friends here to escape with, and not having any real space of my own, it's ing difficult.
Blech. I'm starting to sound bitchy/whiny - in reality I'm glad I had this option to get my feet on the ground following school, and it did land me a job - but that doesn't mean it isn't frustrating as well. |
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| DJ Mikey Mike |
It's always been an aim at this very stage in my life to move out and buy my own house. I am more than financially capable of doing so right now but it'd be very unwise investment at this moment in time with the UK property market being in such a state. Thus, I am staying put at home for the time being and will continue to save.
We'll call that explanation number 7 shall we? |
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| RJT |
My parents are actually pushing somewhat heavily right now to just invest in property rather than find a place to rent. With the housing market in the states where it's at right now, it's a buyers market, and beyond a down payment, my mortgage wouldn't be that much higher than rent on a lot of places.
I just don't really care to get tied into property back at home, as I really don't want to stay in this area all that much longer - a year or two, tops. |
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| elFreak |
| you do not have to stay there rob, a property is a great investment even in a market as volatile as the US real estate market. Increasing your net worth will help you in the long run no matter where you decide to live. Your parents have the right idea, and they want you the out so they can play doctor.:p |
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