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Would You Get Involved With Someone At Your Work? (pg. 5)
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by monishb
There is this one girl i like at work, sure i dont mind getting involved, but shes leaving :( |
That's the one time you should get involved... if you know she's leaving then you've effectively eliminated the potential for fallout, while temporarily maintaining the automatic connection/rapport you have with all coworkers. Fire up the grill now, then park your meat on it right after the grand exit.
Don't be a wuss. Don't make excuses. It's easy access with no real strings attached. What more could you want?
Just be absolutely sure that she's really leaving; I've seen people change their minds at the last minute (new job offer falls through, etc.) |
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| monishb |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
That's the one time you should get involved... if you know she's leaving then you've effectively eliminated the potential for fallout, while temporarily maintaining the automatic connection/rapport you have with all coworkers. Fire up the grill now, then park your meat on it right after the grand exit.
Don't be a wuss. Don't make excuses. It's easy access with no real strings attached. What more could you want?
Just be absolutely sure that she's really leaving; I've seen people change their minds at the last minute (new job offer falls through, etc.) |
thanks for the advise, but she lives in bowmanville, too far since i dont drive and shes busy as well. there isnt any excuse, just that things arent going to work out , you know its one of those things when each other are busy but just dont have time to commit so you keep a friendship level. And i dont make any commitments until the other person is serious about it. Cause i dont go about on womens whims and just go with the flow schedules. so i havent pursued anything more than friendship. I cant even get her out for a date because shes always busy or that its like a last moment "lets do this kinda thing now " which i am more of a organized person.
Besides being single isnt too bad, been single for many years , although i have dated a lot, just havent found my kind of women. Oh well , i am sure someone will show up one day. |
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| tempoman |
| depends how hot she is |
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| Sorin.16v |
I've done it before, with mixed experiences.
One was casual... she wanted me, I wanted her, we had fun for a few months, there wasn't really any awkwardness after and we stayed friends for a while.
The second time around, it ended on a bit of a bad note, but she already had another job by that time, so I didn't have to deal with seeing her.
You just gotta be careful and evaluate who you get involved with, and be clear on what you both want before doing anything, unless it's a disposable job... |
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| Spam |
| quote: | Originally posted by monishb
thanks for the advise, but she lives in bowmanville, too far since i blah blah blah blah blah you know its one of those things when eblah blah blah blah blah to commit so you keep a friendship level. And i dont make any commitments until the other person is serious about blah blah blah blah blah so i havent pursued anything more than friendship. blah blah blah blah blah that its like a last moment blah blah blah blah blahn.
blah blah blah blah blah many years , although i have dated a lot, just havent found my kind of women. Oh well , i am sure someone will show up one day. |
I mean no offense when I say this, because I say this with all the honesty in the world, coming from a guy who used to sound JUST like you when talking about girls *I* was interested in. Dude, you said all that, and all I saw was:
"I can't get a girlfriend because X, Y, and Z, and besides, she has to show commitment first, even though I've never shown any interest at all because I think too much and feel comfortable being a girl's friend. But it's not so bad, since it's been so long that I'm comfortable and used to it."
There's no such thing as 'too busy for each other', only 'willing to make it work', or 'not'. If you're interested in her but don't think YOU can make a commitment, that's one thing. But if you think you can, then the least you can do is find out if she thinks SHE can too.
Make no mistake, if you don't make a move, you'll just lose touch and never see her again anyway. So what do you have to lose? The worst that could happen is you end up being right, and you're left where you started... A girl your interested in lives too far away to make it work. |
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| monishb |
| quote: | Originally posted by Spam
I mean no offense when I say this, because I say this with all the honesty in the world, coming from a guy who used to sound JUST like you when talking about girls *I* was interested in. Dude, you said all that, and all I saw was:
"I can't get a girlfriend because X, Y, and Z, and besides, she has to show commitment first, even though I've never shown any interest at all because I think too much and feel comfortable being a girl's friend. But it's not so bad, since it's been so long that I'm comfortable and used to it."
There's no such thing as 'too busy for each other', only 'willing to make it work', or 'not'. If you're interested in her but don't think YOU can make a commitment, that's one thing. But if you think you can, then the least you can do is find out if she thinks SHE can too.
Make no mistake, if you don't make a move, you'll just lose touch and never see her again anyway. So what do you have to lose? The worst that could happen is you end up being right, and you're left where you started... A girl your interested in lives too far away to make it work. |
SPAM, I have asked her out several times, she busy or say call me and we will see. I have shown interest several times by asking her out we both have other commitments from what i understand, and she works from home even though we work in the same company and i am in the office prior to her going home to work i used to see her a lot now shes only req to show up once a week. I am willing to make it work, but shes got other priorties from what i gathered. I have no problem in talking or going out with women , but the right one is hard to find. |
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| DigiNut |
EDIT:
| quote: | Originally posted by monishb
SPAM, I have asked her out several times, she busy or say call me and we will see. |
That sounds like a pretty clear "no" to me, personally. Unless you've got the balls to be persistent and not take no for an answer, you have to expect that someone will propose alternative plans if they're actually interested but are honestly just busy.
Although there was one instance where I asked something like 4 times and kept getting bizarre noncommittal answers, and she finally came to me about 2 weeks after I gave up on her. This was a summer "intern", and there was about a month left, so I figured it was safe. Sometimes persistence does pay off. Of course it didn't really end up going anywhere, but it was still better than not knowing. |
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| monishb |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
EDIT:
you've asked what she's up to and she gives you a list of bull errands? |
thats exactly the reason, always something comes up long weekends, nephews birthday etc. |
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| monishb |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
EDIT:
That sounds like a pretty clear "no" to me, personally. Unless you've got the balls to be persistent and not take no for an answer, you have to expect that someone will propose alternative plans if they're actually interested but are honestly just busy. |
what i thought so as well |
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| Spam |
| quote: | Originally posted by monishb
SPAM, I have asked her out several times, she busy or say call me and we will see. I have shown interest several times by asking her out we both have other commitments from what i understand, and she works from home even though we work in the same company and i am in the office prior to her going home to work i used to see her a lot now shes only req to show up once a week. I am willing to make it work, but shes got other priorties from what i gathered. I have no problem in talking or going out with women , but the right one is hard to find. |
Ah, that makes sense, she just isn't interested. Well fair enough then. As long as you tried. Your little paragraph I responded to struck me as a "We're just friends and all these excuses and so I haven't tried yet.".
But word to the wise, she's not really busy. No girl with a list of excuses that long ever is. If she's actually busy, and she's interested, she'll suggest another time/place/whatever.
On the flip side, I've seen guys with the balls to carry through spend an entire month hearing a daily "No" just to have the girl give it some thought and randomly change her mind a month down the road. Persistence has it's benefits too. |
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| Endlesswave |
| quote: | Originally posted by Spam
Ah, that makes sense, she just isn't interested. Well fair enough then. As long as you tried. Your little paragraph I responded to struck me as a "We're just friends and all these excuses and so I haven't tried yet.".
But word to the wise, she's not really busy. No girl with a list of excuses that long ever is. If she's actually busy, and she's interested, she'll suggest another time/place/whatever.
On the flip side, I've seen guys with the balls to carry through spend an entire month hearing a daily "No" just to have the girl give it some thought and randomly change her mind a month down the road. Persistence has it's benefits too. |
It does but from what I've seen it's not too often when peristence in that way can pay off.
As for the 'busy' excuse, if a girl really wants to get together with you she'll make the time.
If you had the chance to meet someone super famous who you like as an actor/musician/dj etc, how would you not drop everything or make a serious attempt in order to see that person/band ?
As for work relationships, I've seen it end in marriage but also heard of crazy stories...
I doubt I'd try within my own dept but outside, who knows. |
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| DJ_Elyot |
I did this once on a co-op term with another co-op student from a different department of a smaller company (< 150 people, all in one building). The girl was quite nice and was ing gorgeous, and had things not gone well, I wouldn't really have to see her much after the 4 months were over anyway.
We ate lunch together sometimes and dated/ed after work and on weekends without ever telling anyone. Nobody ever found out; at least not until the term was over. It was actually quite hilarious. We broke up 2 months after the term ended for various reasons, but we're still pretty good friends and I see her at school from time to time.
If you actually care about your job and wish to work there for an extended period of time, I'd recommend NOT getting involved with your coworkers unless they're really carefree and level-headed. Especially steer clear of any emotion-driven ones. Avoid bat-insane ones at all costs. |
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