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Do you think men and women can be just friends? (pg. 3)
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| Psyshell |
| Yes definitely. Even if both people find each other mutually highly attractive. It just depends on what your priorities are. If you know exactly why you don't want to date them you can just remind yourself that every time you get tempted. |
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| Lilith |
| quote: | Originally posted by itsamemario
The notion that friends cannot have sex is pretty silly, it's perfectly doable, as long you ain't slowing till the break of dawn. |
When you grow up and maybe have a family one day, there is a thing called respect for your partner. As much as I love ripping on Lira, he's right from the male perspective of having enough common sense to avoid hurting the one he loves by at least keeping himself away from problems.
Course, you can always turn into one of those perpetually "18 & single" guys who are balding 30 somethings who still think they have any kind of game.
In which case, we will laugh, quite a lot |
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| itsamemario |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lilith
When you grow up and maybe have a family one day, there is a thing called respect for your partner. |
How does this relate to what I said? |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
I can't imagine how annoying it must be to date someone you're not friends with... |
He wouldn't know...IGK has never dated :p |
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| SYSTEM-J |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
He was a bit of a misogynist though, and he thought women aren't at all interesting (and that's, quite naturally, bollocks), so there was no reason I could possibly want to hang out with them that didn't involve testosterone. |
I’m not trying to be a complete cynic and say men and women would just never talk to each other if not for sexual attraction - I’ll leave that to lonely frustrated berks like IGK. I think it’s more an issue that it’s relatively uncommon for a man to meet a woman and neither party to be attracted to the other. Of course, sexual attraction carries a large degree of subjectivity to it, but I think there’s a general scale of how objectively attractive someone is, and either one half of a man/woman friendship is more attractive to than the other or they’re both around the same level. And if both of these people are single, they spend a notable amount of time exclusively in each other’s company and they’re mutually compatible enough to have that level of friendship, why wouldn’t they want to have sex? If they’re about the same level it’ll probably happen. If they’re not, the less attractive half of the equation will probably start to develop feelings for the more attractive half. Either way you cut it, that’s tension.
The chief ways I can see this situation being avoided is if:
A) One or both parties are in a relationship or getting regular intimacy from elsewhere.
B) Due to personal taste, they just simply don’t fancy each other.
C) There is recognition early on from one or both parties that any kind of intimacy would be damaging for whatever reason (emotional/social/etc.) and so they deliberately restrain themselves from thinking about the other person in that way.
I think C) is something that happens more as you mature emotionally – when you’re a hormonal teenager you’re more likely to fall in love with anyone vaguely able you can hold a conversation with, whereas once you’ve learned a few life lessons you get better at deciding when it’s just a complete waste of time (this is probably why those who reject the notion of men and women being friends are usually tragic man-children). I would wildly speculate that C) is probably the mechanism behind most platonic male-female friendships. However, I still think this constitutes blocking off certain thoughts rather than not having them. I refuse to believe that if you have an attractive friend you get along with really well and you haven’t had any action for a while and no prospect of action in the immediate future, you won’t inevitably have a few of those thoughts about them late at night, however quickly dismissed. |
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| Jon_Snow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
I'm not sure I follow you... I share the same mindset with loads of friends of the opposite sex :conf:
It just so happens that, in my wife's case, I'm both attracted to her and we've developed a friendship as well. Most couples will tell you precisely the same thing, I believe (reason you've heard this before).
I can't imagine how annoying it must be to date someone you're not friends with... |
men and women minds are fundamentally different. We enjoy doing different things. Even when we do the same thing we do it for different reasons. Take games guys play shoot'em up, women play well I don't know I'm not a woman. |
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| Looney4Clooney |
| my sister is really hot. We are friends. If there is a clear set of boundaries i.e., in this case ing a family member with their consent would be just weird for everyone. So if you can be friends with your sister, then you have the ability to use the mechanism that stops you from ing your mom and apply that to other females. Unless you your mom. But even in the most ed up of circumstances, it still doesn't preclude being friends. I would watch the tv show i guess. |
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| Looney4Clooney |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jon_Snow
men and women minds are fundamentally different. We enjoy doing different things. Even when we do the same thing we do it for different reasons. Take games guys play shoot'em up, women play well I don't know I'm not a woman. |
we are fundamentally the same. Personality traits except a small deviation with aggression and agreeability are pretty much the same. That whole men are mars bull and i suppose most junk science seem to ignore the actual data that has been being collected for the better half of a century. We are very very very similar. |
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| Jon_Snow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Looney4Clooney
we are fundamentally the same. Personality traits except a small deviation with aggression and agreeability are pretty much the same. That whole men are mars bull and i suppose most junk science seem to ignore the actual data that has been being collected for the better half of a century. We are very very very similar. |
I fully expected that people like you and Lira would take umbrage to my view. You can't out think mother nature. |
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| Looney4Clooney |
| your view is wrong or at least wrong in the eyes off those that study these things. I tend to agree with the people that have tested their theories and have had them peer reviewed and retested enough times that there is an overall consensus among sane rational people. And umbrage is really not the right word. I noticed you said something that wasn't true, corrected your mistake. You learned a little about yourself and life. |
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| SYSTEM-J |
| quote: | Originally posted by Jon_Snow
You can't out think mother nature. |
You couldn't out think a dead cat. |
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