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men suck (pg. 4)
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| sothis |
im going to agree with firestarter on stepping outside ourselves to get results.
everyone has a comfort zone that they would rather not step out of. unless you are really really hot and have a huge ego, odds are, ALL of us get apprehensive with calling someone back after youve met them for the first time... or making the first REAL move to show you are interested. whats funny is that a lot of the time, the other person is thinking the same thing, and yet it just might not happen, because both people didnt have the balls to do something about it.
i have found that while i have humiliated myself on a few occasions by being forward or bold (or even just obvious), there have been times when i am damn surprised at how well things worked out, even tho i was scared as hell and nervous to do it. and i realize "wow, im glad i did that... look at what came out of it". always involving stepping out of my comfort zone.
i think guys have the wrong idea of the whole "nice guy vs bad boy" thing. usually what you hear is how "girls like s", but in reality, girls like the forwardness and comfort level of s. back to what i was just saying, i think both genders would rather have the other initiate .. thats just how we are. so, as a girl, if i have a guy come up to ME, sweet talk me, and be "obvious", you bet your ass i will be more interested than the shy guy hanging out in the corner who may or may not like me? does this mean that i like being played? hell ing no. i havent dated anyone in probably a year or so because the last guy i dated was like that. girls dont LIKE being used. girls dont LIKE being lied to. "bad boys", thats what they do... but its not an issue of girls liking that, its an issue of them being the confident ones.
i mean, its the same for guys im guessing. would you rather have an attractive, confident woman come up to you and initiate stuff herself, not waiting for you to make the first move? (note, i know a lot of you will interpret that sentence as me talking about "sluts" but im not, just confident people) or, bend over backwards to get some girl's attention (unless you are really up for a challenge i guess).
| quote: | | she really wants an with a badside who then starts to treat her better as the relationship progresses |
you just reiterated what i said, basically. girls are more receptive to "s" because they are confident, and approach you. this doesnt mean they sit around saying "hey, wouldnt it be great if i could meet a guy who just wants to use me?".
anyways that was a long story to try to prove a point that hopefully some of you got :p
as far as attractiveness, it really is true that ALL HUMANS want someone attractive at first glance. lets be honest, you dont go up to the average looking person at the bar and hope they grow on you... thats more of a situation like if you are friends with someone for a long time and they become more attractive. i think the reason why i have a bit more animosity towards guys doing that, is the extreme level of "beauty" that is required by a lot of guys (not all, but a lot) due to society's image of a perfect woman. most girls do not have large C/double D breasts. most girls are not a size 1 and are completely toned. most girls, do NOT look like the girls in 80% of your signatures. most of the time i dont care, but as a woman, i sometimes feel intimidated because i will never achieve that level of "perfection" according to a lot of guys. dont get me wrong, i think im beautiful and am confident with myself, but it still kind of bothers me sometimes of the mob mentality, per say.
girls may like attractiveness, but i dont think its anything unattainable like that. penis size, sorry guys, thats a guy thing, not a girl thing. a LOT of girls dont even like large penises because they physically hurt you. thats just a male myth for the most part, and still the one thing guys are so preoccupied with. so, besides that, there really isnt anything that unattainable for guys in order for us to find them attractive.
ok im done for now. |
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| JohnSmith |
| I love reading your posts sothis, they are so awesome. Thje world needs more women like you. |
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| sothis |
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| JohnSmith |
| is that little pink puffy thing doing the richard nixon V sign or what? :D |
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| Aya Brea |
| quote: | Originally posted by JohnSmith
I love reading your posts sothis, they are so awesome. Thje world needs more women like you. |
agreed. :D |
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| Juricimo |
look at how many replies and thoughts and arguments stemmed from a simple 10 words:haha:
>JM< |
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| Stiffmaster |
| quote: | Originally posted by bluE_Neon
they can't give you wat you wan't coz you dont know yourself wat you want ;) |
oh yes how true |
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| arjoderoon |
i can agree with the nice guy story. its the same with me. EVERY single time i completely fell in love with someone, the one line i heard was: sorry, you are really nice but thats just it.
they talk to me about their problems and but the fact is that not one of them was interested and so im 20 years old now, and still never had a girlfriend. and it is not that im ugly , as i hear alot of times that im quite attractive. so what is it? do i have to spend the rest of my life alone? i have had to many dissapointments so far, and it hurt so much. i now prevent myself for falling in love again as i dont want feel that pain EVER again. and no matter what i do. when i go out and see a girl, i think she's playing ME cause of my bad experiences with girls (will not go in details, sorry guys )
is it so hard to understand that if i ever had the guts to possibly step to a girl, that i now have lost it completely? self-confidence is not in my dictonary i'm affraid.
so the nice guys are actually kind of being played by girls cause they can talk to them and thats it..? |
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| sothis |
you just answered your own question.
| quote: | | self-confidence is not in my dictonary i'm affraid |
girls are attracted to confidence, just like guys are.
| quote: | | i have had to many dissapointments so far, and it hurt so much |
no , we all go through this. i dont think ive met one person who hasnt been burned completely. but saying "i give up on people" and then complaining about how you'll always be alone is just shooting yourself in the foot. because im sorry, but if you want something, it is up to YOU to go out and get it... you can't just wait for a girl to come up to you and do everything. relationships are a game of chance. if you take the chance, you could get something great out of it, but you have to fight for it. yes, you will get emotionally beat up in some cases and maybe only 1 out of 10 times will it work, but 1 time is better than 0, which is what you will have if you keep being non-confident and thinking the way you are.
| quote: | | so the nice guys are actually kind of being played by girls cause they can talk to them and thats it..? |
no, the nice guys arent doing enough to show the girl they are interested, or doing enough to KEEP them interested. like i said, no one wants to make the first move by human nature... it requires stepping out of your comfort zone and the possibility of rejection. why should these girls that you talk to, suddenly fall in love with you if you dont give them a good SOLID indication that you want more than that? if a girl gets a friend vibe from you and nothing more, why is she supposed to suddenly realize great things and jump on you? that isnt using you, thats considering you a friend. instead, these girls they will be attracted to the people who appear confident and are persistent... which unfortunately, isnt the typical nature of the so-called "nice guys". |
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| biznology |
| sothis i thot you only dated cyborgs? :toothless useless reply, i know, but interesting reading| |
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| sothis |
*Sigh*... i wish! :D
ive come to terms with the fact that odds are ill never meet someone like me... heh |
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| Exponent |
Ill have to agree that sothis posts are by far the most thought out and well written. Normally if i want to take the time i can do the same but most of the time im just in a rush to write what i have on my mind and not spend time thinking about it.
Anyways sothis you are completely correct about the difference between the shy guy who sits on the wall and eyeballs the girl he likes (who i used to be for a long time), and the guy who may come across as an but at least makes a move. Im learning more and more that that is needed to get the interest of someone you like. The biggest and hardest problem we all face is stepping out of our comfort zones and i think im dealing with that alot better now.
I know i pretty much regurgitated what you wrote but that was just a long winded way of saying i totally agree with you.
What is really cool in my instance is that in the near future i get to practice some forwardness on someone ;) That someone is to be unnamed. Looking forward to it :)
P.S. I need to get some more WHR From you, im on like 10.. just been so busy lately :/ |
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