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best bible quotes ever
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| mikefasssy |
Ok, I hope I don't offend anyone but sometimes I hear things in the bible that just crack me up. I'm not religious, but everyone else in my family is so I always am hearing stuff. I'll start us off:
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled." -- Ezekiel 23:20-21
"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts." -- Malachi 2:3 (KJV)
"O Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction, happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us -- he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks." -- Psalm 137 (NIV) |
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| jploveparade |
| "On the 13th day God created hardcore. Gabbers from all of Mesophotania and the city of Babylon went raving on Noah's partyboat. They ate the animals, drank all of Mozes' wine. Goliath, the local XTC dealer, was caught up in a fight over the quality of the amphetamine. After 7 days lighting struck. It was Jozef, who was in charge of the lasershow. Too bad Solomon couldn't be there. He overdosed on a couple of trips which the King of Egypt gave him..." |
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| Tranc3 |
| LOL at JP's post ^^^^^^^:stongue: |
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| fate |
buahaha
I second that :D |
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| whiskers |
| ahhhh, blasphemy... |
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| jploveparade |
"Judas went out to but tickets for Godskitchen. His eleven friends gave him the money, but halfway Jeruzalem he saw a local shop selling 12" Death Sea Rolls. He just could not resist the urge to buy them, although he knew his friends would be mad.
Afraid to tell them, he went home and told Maria what he had done. He loved his friends but the shame was just too big. So they walked to the hill, where 3 cross-overs were put in the ground. Maria told Judas to take them to Technicus, the Roman King. The mighty king was very pleased. In return, he would kill Judas friends.
On May Day, the cruel Adam who was high on Eve, slaughtered the 11 friends. One week later, Judas found out he had won 12 VIP tickets for Godskitchen with a scratchcard that came with the Death Sea Roles" |
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| Cracka-X |
| HAhaahhaaha, that's great |
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| jploveparade |
| quote: | Originally posted by Cracka-X
HAhaahhaaha, that's great |
:D |
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| Micheline |
| jploveparade i found you to be pretty stupid. How can you say that? Abd what kind of satan topic is that? I hate when people are taking the Bible as just a book so you can laugh at it. I think you should have some respect and delete the thread. I am just so ashaimed right now to see people like this. :( |
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| Technaut |
| Hello Miro you big smelly turd. |
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| jploveparade |
You shouldn't listen to electronic music in the first place:
"For an angel" "Godd music" "heaven" etc etc
I don't hear you complain about that!
Secondly: people who are 'religious' don't say that kinda things.
Idiot! |
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