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crazy christian quote page (pg. 5)
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| Acid Junkie |
| quote: | Originally posted by Abject Silver
если нету юмора у тебя, то тогда извени что испортил настроение, ваше величиство.
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er wrong. religion itself is a joke.
| quote: | Истиный Православный: Отче наш, еже си на небеси...
Бог: Ну?
ИП: Это кто?
Бог: Как кто? Это я - Яхве. Че хотел?
ИП [крестицца]: Ох ты господи.
Бог: Короче, чего тебе?
ИП: Господи, ты ли осенил меня своим святым глаголом?
Бог [в сторону]: Ну чево никто из них нормально разговаривать не умеет?
ИП: Господи, изволь мне молитву вознести во славу твою.
Бог [заинтересовано] А что читать будешь?
ИП: Отче наш.
Бог [разочаровано]: Опять? Задолбали. Тыщу лет одну телегу толкают. Она
в моем хитпараде в самом анусе.
ИП: Изволь тогда глаголить аки сердце прикажет.
Бог [зевая]: Ну глаголь.
ИП: Молю тебя снизойти до раба твоего, маны небесной ниспошли дабы мог я
славить имя твое и нести людям благую весть, дабы услышали...
Бог: А покороче?
ИП: Денег дай.
Бог: А молнией по сраке?
ИП: Понял.
Бог: Не ссы. Тебе зачем деньги?
ИП: Храмы во славутвою строить, сиротам помогать. Бообщем на благие
дела.
Бог: Я вообще-то высщее существо, я мысли читаю. У тебя почему все
сироты с четвертым размером груди?
ИП: [хлопаецца на колени] Не гневись боже! То меня дьявол попутал!
Бог [орет кому-то в сторону]: Люцый, тут один на тебя стрелку переводит.
Люцифер: Угу, так и запишем: "песдел на Князя Тьмы".
ИП [сцыкливо]: Господи, оборони от супостата нечистого.
Бог: Ну если займешся мнегодным делом, то спишем. Я же, слава мне, не
конченый падонак.
ИП [неистово крестицца, бъецца головой об пол]: Да придет царствие твое,
да будет воля твоя.
Бог: Вот дибил.
ИП: Буду во имя твое Русь от жидов нехристей освобождать.
Бог [опять кричит в сторону]: Нет, Мойше, ты слышал, что сказал этот
гой?
Моисей: Вейз мир! Сдался мне этот шлемазл. Если бы я откладывал по
шекелю каждый раз, когда это слышал... [уходит в подсчеты]
Бог [обращаясь к ИП]: За одну молитву два раза запорол. Как грицца: кому
я мозгов не дал...
ИП [с надеждой]: Но вот, боже, по мудростои твоей обделил ты меня
разумом. Не виноват я, ибо азм есть тварь неразумная по образу и подобию
твоему.
Бог: Сам понял, что сказал.
ИП: Ой!
Бог [распаляясь]: Придурком меня еще никто не называл. [косицца в
сторону Люцифера] Ну почти никто.
ИП: Боже, будь милостив. Ты же милостив?
Бог: Я?
ИП: Ну в писании сказано.
Бог: Так я с****ел.
ИП: А как же заповеди?
Бог: А мне можно. Ладно, вали отсюда. Типа я тебя простил. Ну маленько
все же накажу.
ИП [испугано]: Каким образом?
Бог [торжествено]: Не разделишь ты ложа с женщиной боле, но с мужчиной!
ИП[ужасаясь]: Чиво?
Бог: Пидаром будешь вопщем.
ИП: Господи.
Бог: Сеанс окончен. Я побежал в войнушку с Мухамедом в Ираке играть. |
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| Abject Silver |
| quote: | Originally posted by Acid Junkie
er wrong. religion itself is a joke.
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i'll be nice and i won't rip you a new one for not reading the previous posts, simply because i don't blame you.
the integral part that you seem to have missed is this:
| quote: |
who the hell would SAY that? even if you disagree with them, you respect their views, otherwise, you get shat on, child. and that's precisely what i'm doing now. you may have the same beliefs as me, and otherwise i would have defended you, but because you're such a chump, i'll just slap you along to go play on the playground with the rest of the sheep - theist and atheist alike. when you're that blind, you're all the same to me.
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so basically: why are are you preaching to the choir? i probably have as much of a bone to pick with religion as you do. i've always held quite a disgust for it, but not as much as my disgust for ignorance in general, religious or non.
funny. i always remembered pagans and wiccas being a bit more amicable than this... must be a new breed
but good call on that transcript. i had a good belly laugh reading it.
:thepirate |
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| 'mju:zik |
| quote: | Originally posted by davinox
omg christians are so dumb!
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this really embodies the unsurpassed wisdom of Americans...
thank you davinox for making all those dumb christians finally understand how stupid they are
with your articulation and wit you should certainly look into becoming a philosophy professor
I know that you are wise, so maybe you can tell us who else has diminished cerebral capacity...is it those bloody Brits? Jews? Texans? Italians? Catholics? Pegans? please fill us in, I am dying to know |
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| Abject Silver |
| quote: | Originally posted by 'mju:zik
this really embodies the unsurpassed wisdom of Americans...
thank you davinox for making all those dumb christians finally understand how stupid they are
with your articulation and wit you should certainly look into becoming a philosophy professor
I know that you are wise, so maybe you can tell us who else has diminished cerebral capacity...is it those bloody Brits? Jews? Texans? Italians? Catholics? Pegans? please fill us in, I am dying to know |
*falls over* :haha: x 10
(but you can get caught on the american bit :)) |
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| Acid Junkie |
| no preaching. just stating my opinion. i don't try to foist it off. and believe it or not, i do respect your views and i never said otherwise, but religion is still but an absurd joke, simply because i consider it such and because it's my own opinion. |
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| Abject Silver |
| quote: | Originally posted by Acid Junkie
no preaching. just stating my opinion. i don't try to foist it off. and believe it or not, i do respect your views and i never said otherwise, but religion is still but an absurd joke, simply because i consider it such and because it's my own opinion. |
haha, and i know. and i agree, мой друг. and that's precisely the case. respect. i respect yours views as well. when it comes to organized religion they're most likely exactly like mine.
i'm not defending anything but solidarity within a viably functional group of reasonable people; like-minded or not. there are bad apples on every tree, so this is why i do not arbitrarily limit my acquaintances to a single facet of a society or belief. if someone's got their head on their shoulders, they'll have me to befriend them. be they black, white, red, yellow, brown, christian, vedic, hindi, muslim, jewish, wiccan, runic, pagan, modernist, existentialist, kantian, etc. ad nauseum.
in any case, all's well that ends well. |
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| 'mju:zik |
| quote: | Originally posted by Abject Silver
*falls over* :haha: x 10
(but you can get caught on the american bit :)) |
:)
a taste of his own idiocy |
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| Orbax |
| quote: | Originally posted by Acid Junkie
simply because i consider it such and because it's my own opinion. |
not to offend, but that is what, in philosophical circles, is called the "" opinion...everyone has one and they all stink. Dav and I had a fun time about mmm a year ago or so? on religion. it was great fun, much logic and research included.
This however...tsk tsk tsk. At least there was mutual respect in the end, whereas this seems to have the opposite effect hmm? |
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| Triumph |
| quote: | Originally posted by mndeg
and maybe there are |
Dude, I'm sorely disappointed. Wheres your "Tiger Woods is half black half thai" comment?? |
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| davinox |
| quote: | Originally posted by 'mju:zik
this really embodies the unsurpassed wisdom of Americans...
thank you davinox for making all those dumb christians finally understand how stupid they are
with your articulation and wit you should certainly look into becoming a philosophy professor
I know that you are wise, so maybe you can tell us who else has diminished cerebral capacity...is it those bloody Brits? Jews? Texans? Italians? Catholics? Pegans? please fill us in, I am dying to know |
hehe im a texan, and i can say that pretty much all americans have been educated less and have less modivation then their european counterparts.
i can also say that the comment "Omg christians are dumb" was a dumb comment. i felt like being immature but oh well, i guess i have to be serious all the time.
with your articulation and wit you should certainly look into becoming a philosophy professor <--funny, i'm actually thinking about it. i will probably choose to be an English professor instead, but you know, I could luck out and have the joy of writing for a living.
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but the fact remains - i could never be mad at you! your sig made me download 'gabriel,' which was moving beyond words. so i won't flame you.
instead, i'll hug you.
<---YEESSSS I love this song to! If i look at a picture of my girlfriend as i listen to it i instantly cry. |
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| Acid Junkie |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
not to offend, but that is what, in philosophical circles, is called the "" opinion...everyone has one and they all stink. |
exactly! and that includes yours as well. this whole thread is just an exchange of opinions and is somewhat pointless because none of them can be proven. NOTHING can be proven here. no matter how sound your argument may seem, u will never succeed in proving it, and it will always remain just a theory. |
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| davinox |
| quote: | Originally posted by Acid Junkie
exactly! and that includes yours as well. this whole thread is just an exchange of opinions and is somewhat pointless because none of them can be proven. NOTHING can be proven here. no matter how sound your argument may seem, u will never succeed in proving it, and it will always remain just a theory. |
that's a terrible and pointless argument. if you want to truely think philosophically, nothing can be proven except for each of our own existances.
however, there are still debates and theories that are more logical than others, i see no reason why religion cannot be debated. It is an idea that can and should be analyzed. Just because of the personal attachments people have towards religion doesn't make it an untouchable subject. |
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