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Funniest thing I've ever heard from a homeless person (pg. 3)
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| ATL_Trancer |
| quote: | Originally posted by Essential1
I was walking down the streets of downtown toronto last night, and this homeless guy came up to me. he said "I have no money, I wanna get drunk & I don't like fat chicks."
I was laughing so hard I gave him $5 |
hahaha, I had a similar thing happen to me. I was walking back from Krystal with some leftovers, a homeless guy comes up to me, asks for money. I offer him a hamburger, and he said " that man, i just wanna get drunk" hahaha, props for being honest |
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| bassaholix |
| OMG i just remebered, sum mofo at school was the biggest scab... <--- means when you take off other ppl.. anyways... always @ lunch time he used to ask ppl for money, and by the end of lunch time the MOFO had so much form ppl that he ate better then all of us, cause we had to buy our food here in Australia, no fancy american cafeterias.. heheh.. anyways.. point is.. would you scab... damm thats low! |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Mrs.Spice
I heard a prostitute tell a homeless girl w
homeless person: do you have a quarter?
street ho: (screaming and obviously on speed) "Why don't you go suck a dick for it like I do?!?!?!?" |
You think i can claim a charitable tax deduction for "donating" money to a whore? ;)
Dealing with pan handlers everyday after work in the city parking lot, got old, listening to the same stories. my favorite was someone stole my money and i need to buy a bus ticket... |
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| DaveSaenz |
| quote: | Originally posted by Essential1
I was walking down the streets of downtown toronto last night, and this homeless guy came up to me. he said "I have no money, I wanna get drunk & I don't like fat chicks."
I was laughing so hard I gave him $5 |
I've seen a guy holding a sign that said, "Why Lie? I need to get high!" My friend said he saw a guy sell his pants for some X. Pretty sad really. |
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| trancEyes22 |
| one time, there was this homeless man who kept saying over and over to my friend "i'll buy that for a dolla" in a british accent! hahhaha it was soo funny |
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| Orbax |
BWAHAHA one time this dude said this
"Please help me! im so cold and lonely! Have mercy on me for God has surely abandoned me. Only through the charity of stranger am I allowed to live. Please, kind master, spare my life for another hour?"
HAHAHAH i totally spit on him and frolicked away into the night. |
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| whiskers |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
HAHAHAH i totally spit on him and frolicked away into the night. |
that's so totally cruel, but i too would be like "get the away from me" :D |
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| DaveSaenz |
| quote: | Originally posted by montie
ooh also
i remember my friend telling me about these bums up in San Fran, called wood bums. They dress up in camo gear and decorate them selves with sticks and leaves and hide in bushes along the street. When someone walks by they jump out of the bush screaming scaring the out of the people passing by then hold out their hands and kindly ask for money. |
When I was in San Fran one of those guys jumped out at us. I was walking with my dad, and it scared the out of him lol.
| quote: | Originally posted by trancEyes22
one time, there was this homeless man who kept saying over and over to my friend "i'll buy that for a dolla" in a british accent! hahhaha it was soo funny |
When I was in DC I bought a blind woman and her daughter some popeyes (brand of fried chicken in America). I suppose you could call that irony since her eyes appeared to be gouged out. Needless to say I felt bad for them. |
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| Dj_Psygnosis |
| Well this one time me and my friends were hanging around the city when this homeless guy game and asked for a buck, we gave him the dollar but then i saw him a couple minutes later at a arcade with a full wallet of 100 dollar notes...:mad: |
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| montie |
| quote: | Originally posted by DaveSaenz
When I was in San Fran one of those guys jumped out at us. I was walking with my dad, and it scared the out of him lol.
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hahah thats great! :p
my friend was telling me that once he saw one jump out at a mother and her small child. the child screamed and freaked out and started crying. the guy held out his hand for money, and the mother screamed at him for like 5 min. |
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| Endo |
| I was with a bunch of my dumbass friends in Paris once, and there was this guy who came up to us and said "Hey are you guys from Texas?" and we said no, "we're canadians". Then the guy said, "Yeah right me too! Where from canada are you from??" where we followed with saying "toronto" where he said "NO WAY me too!" :rolleyes: where he continued saying "Look I need some extra cash to get myself back to my hotel, I've just been robbed and need some metro fare" Where of course my idiot friends believe this story and all gladly give him money. I knew they believed him because as we were walking away one of them said "Hey what are the chances of that seeing another canadian here" :whip: |
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| Emil |
| quote: | Originally posted by montie
hahah thats great! :p
my friend was telling me that once he saw one jump out at a mother and her small child. the child screamed and freaked out and started crying. the guy held out his hand for money, and the mother screamed at him for like 5 min. |
Yeah, I was also in San Fran and saw the same kind of guy. He scared the out of everybody walking by him.
My story: I was pumping gas and this 10 year old little punk comes up to me and goes "You have a $1?" I said "I don't have any cash." So I go and pay for gas with cash. The little rodent watches me, and when I come back he says "I saw you pay with cash." I said "Yeah, but you asked for a 41, I don't have a $1, I have $5, $20, even a $50 bill." Sooooo the little idiot even has the balls to say "Give me $5 and I'll bring your change back"!!!
Emil |
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