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Did I Fuck Up? [another girl advice thread] (pg. 4)
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| DJMikeyP |
Some good advice here... When she told me she was breaking it off, I DID fight her on that a little bit.. I told her she was wrong, and that I honestly did care about her. She just ignored me basically with the reallll cold shoulder. I said a few more things like that, trying to change her mind, and she didn't respond at all... Just real cold.
I guess I could have begged or sent her flowers or whatever, but I just got out of a reallyyyy controlling relationship, where I had to watch and worry over every single thing I did so my ex wouldn't get all pissed off at me. For example (we lived together), every day when I would come home I would find her and kiss her whereever she was, but then when SHE came home from work there was a huge argument if I didn't get UP from where I was and kiss her when she came through the door (utter double standard BS). My life was 100% worry and guilt because of that kind of BS, so maybe right now I'm a little burnt out on adjusting the way I am in order to fit what I 'should' be like according to another person's standards. I mean honestly is it fair that I have to follow a girl's rulebook just to be in a relationship, when I would never expect her to do the same for me? Aren't there any girls out there who will actually talk and communicate to me when I up, and try to work out a compromise? I'm just tired of not being able to be myself. I dunno.
And just to clarify, she called me the same 'morning after' and we talked a little, had a couple laughs, then the 2 days later is when I called her. She could have called me during those 2 days. Oh well. |
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| butterfly |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
It sounds like you're serious but I can't help wondering if there's a note of sarcasm in there? ;) |
no i am serious. men dont buy women flowers often enough. it really works, trust me i know. |
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| butterfly |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJMikeyP
Some good advice here... When she told me she was breaking it off, I DID fight her on that a little bit.. I told her she was wrong, and that I honestly did care about her. She just ignored me basically with the reallll cold shoulder. I said a few more things like that, trying to change her mind, and she didn't respond at all... Just real cold.
I guess I could have begged or sent her flowers or whatever, but I just got out of a reallyyyy controlling relationship, where I had to watch and worry over every single thing I did so my ex wouldn't get all pissed off at me. For example (we lived together), every day when I would come home I would find her and kiss her whereever she was, but then when SHE came home from work there was a huge argument if I didn't get UP from where I was and kiss her when she came through the door (utter double standard BS). My life was 100% worry and guilt because of that kind of BS, so maybe right now I'm a little burnt out on adjusting the way I am in order to fit what I 'should' be like according to another person's standards. I mean honestly is it fair that I have to follow a girl's rulebook just to be in a relationship, when I would never expect her to do the same for me? Aren't there any girls out there who will actually talk and communicate to me when I up, and try to work out a compromise? I'm just tired of not being able to be myself. I dunno.
And just to clarify, she called me the same 'morning after' and we talked a little, had a couple laughs, then the 2 days later is when I called her. She could have called me during those 2 days. Oh well. |
since she called you the two hours later, it was your responsibility to make the next call. but even still, two days isnt as big a deal when it wasnt the first time you had talked since.
it sounds like she is using the sex thing as an excuse, for whatever reason. maybe she isnt as interested anymore. i dunno.
it does sound like she could be a potentially whiny girlfriend but we dont know enough here to be able to say what the real issue is here.
as for your other issues, it sounds like you are not ready for a relationship yet which is perfectly fine. (of course in this case, you should have made it clear to her before sleeping with her) also, what you said about having to try to please the girl and not being able to be yourself isnt cool. if you are in a relationship that you have to force things like that then it isnt meant to be. based on what you have told us, this girl isnt right for you. so just take it easy and meet more girls and hopefully you will find one that is right for you sooner than later. |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJMikeyP
Aren't there any girls out there who will actually talk and communicate to me when I up, and try to work out a compromise? I'm just tired of not being able to be myself. I dunno. |
Less than you'd expect... although it does depend how you approach it, getting defensive/offensive in an argument is bound to just cause more tension, not sure if you do that or not. It's a sign of the times, man... men lose their rights but are supposed to keep their responsibilities.
Butterfly, I'll send you some flowers, give me your address. ;) :p |
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| smallSHEEP |
| She broke up with you after sex eh.... Maybe you have a small penis. |
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| Delay Llama |
| quote: | Originally posted by smallSHEEP
She broke up with you after sex eh.... Maybe you have a small penis. |
Even for Japanese standards? :eek: |
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| smallSHEEP |
| quote: | Originally posted by Delay Llama
Even for Japanese standards? :eek: |
sooo tiny |
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| Orbax |
| quote: | Originally posted by smallSHEEP
She broke up with you after sex eh |
anything else is irrelevant hehe technically thats his win regardless of the reason. |
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| Delay Llama |
| quote: | Originally posted by smallSHEEP
sooo tiny |
"So that's why we couldn't see the problem, Mike" :D |
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| ralf_c |
this is a classic
DJMikeyP, sorry mate but i'm gonna have to bust your chaps, the way you described your approach makes it sound like you where on it too soon. one thing that i have learned about girls is that you can't be aggressive too soon. you have to pace your self, don't just scratch the surface and jump into bed. most girls are very emotional about sex and if the girl thinks for whatever reason that you are not as emotionally involved then you'll like be in trouble early into the relationship. |
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| Orbax |
Girls shouldnt put out that easy. I always stop seeing them when they finally do. and Im still a virgin. Thats how unattractive it is.
or im a loser.
I havent figured out which yet :P |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
Girls shouldnt put out that easy. I always stop seeing them when they finally do. and Im still a virgin. Thats how unattractive it is.
or im a loser.
I havent figured out which yet :P |
probably both :p
| quote: | Originally posted by ralf_c
one thing that i have learned about girls is that you can't be aggressive too soon. you have to pace your self, don't just scratch the surface and jump into bed. most girls are very emotional about sex and if the girl thinks for whatever reason that you are not as emotionally involved then you'll like be in trouble early into the relationship. |
hit the nail on the head, especially if it's the girls 1st time. |
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