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Did I Fuck Up? [another girl advice thread] (pg. 8)
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| UWM |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
Yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about.
The trick is finding a cute girl who understands it too!
I don't disagree with UWM or anyone else either - I mean, everybody can view relationships how they want, it's a personal thing - I just don't think people like us should be bashed because we're old-fashioned/idealistic/whatever. |
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions about how they approach relationships and sex, and I respect that. I just personally would find it hard to turn over and go to sleep if some girl I had a vested interest in was propositioning me.
Mind you every girl I have slept with (minus one, we'll not speak of her ever again) I have established a relationship with before it happened. |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Orbax
I am very happy where I am relationship wise. I mean itd be great to find a girl... |
doesn't it take two ppl to have a relationship? :p
this whole your wasting ur life doing (fill in the blank) has been debated b4. Who's to say spending $ on things that make you happy such as social events that have no material value are a waste and accumulating wealth that you can't use when you die is a better investment. |
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| ralf_c |
| quote: | | Yeah, I wasn't thinking of DJMikeyP and his situation when I responded to Aaron (Diginut). I went off topic. I do that, especially when I'm a little sleepy. Sorry, Ralf_c |
EOS, its all good, no need to apologize. |
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| ralf_c |
| quote: | | Maybe I'm idealistic... I don't care. I agree, people shouldn't put out so damn easily. It's weird. Take your time. Let things develop. Don't try to push it so hard. That's just my opinion, though. |
now there is something we agree on |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by UWM
Mind you every girl I have slept with (minus one, we'll not speak of her ever again) I have established a relationship with before it happened. |
So the one that was sex-before-relationship is the one you'll not speak of again... I think that fits in well with what we've been saying, don't you? ;) |
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| butterfly |
| i have to disagree with a bunch of you here. i dont think there is anything wrong with casual sex (except STDs and such) if you dont want to be in a relationship of for whatever reason. i think you all are being unrealistically wholesome. |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by butterfly
i have to disagree with a bunch of you here. i dont think there is anything wrong with casual sex (except STDs and such) if you dont want to be in a relationship of for whatever reason. i think you all are being unrealistically wholesome. |
None of us ever said that there was anything wrong with casual sex. I respect other people's views on it, but it's just not my style - what's wrong with that? I don't think it's unrealistic. |
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| UWM |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
So the one that was sex-before-relationship is the one you'll not speak of again... I think that fits in well with what we've been saying, don't you? ;) |
We choose not to speak of her again because after I got to know her she turned out to be a raging psycho.
And I found out she later slept with like 10 other people I know.
In the words of Van Wilder:
"Don't be a fool, wrap your tool." |
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| LAYLA-KEKET |
| Besides the fact this girl seems melo-dramatic, and in need of some serious help, you did make a mistake. Two days in a womans world means two days of "is it me" "wasn't I any good" "was it a one night stand" kind of thoughts. Although you did slip up it wasn't so serious as to the outcome your not suffering, sorry guy! |
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| DJMikeyP |
Personally, I think the only reason we have all these problems with people using sex in place of feelings, or sex ruining relationships is because of god damn male hormones. I think you all know what I'm talking about - the second you get turned on by her or think you have a chance in bed you convince yourself how into her you are, when in reality you're not. Then, after you get laid, you realize how little you liked her, and then feel guilty and its ruined.
I personally am aware of this at all times, so I just keep telling myself I'm only 'on' about her because of my dick. Another thing I do is get jiggy with internet porn right before a date, so I have a clear head, and can feel how I really feel about her.... Also if I F-up and convince myself I really like her, then screw her, then remember how I actually felt, I try to remember this is a typical stupid guy thing, and not to let it ruin it - in other words, after the sex, instead of throwing it away, I just take it where it actually is - not too deep but not pulling away.
By the way, you guys DO realize something right? Its in the male DNA to want to sleep with everything that walks... Its our mission to control that urge. Its also in the female DNA to try and build a bond with the person they're F-ing, which is an urge also not easily controlled.
This goes back to darwinism - if a man sleeps with 1 woman, how many babies does he have? 1.. if he sleeps with 100 women, how many babies, and thus how many chances of passing his DNA along does he have? 100.
If a woman sleeps with a man, how many babies? 1 .... if she sleeps with 100? still just the one... So theres not any real genetic benefit to sleeping around for a girl... Now theres the question of survival... Since typically in the 'olden' days or the caveman days, the woman depended on the man for survival, whats better for her and her young? Sleep with 100 men, none of which would feel tooo strongly about her, and thus none of which feeling toooo eager to protect her? How about if she builds a bond with just one - don't you think that one will be more likely to want to fight for her and her young?
This is just a theory. I mean I feel i have to try and understand the quirks or both genders - because the more you understand something, the more you can work with/around it. I kind of like my sex drive, but I'm to the point now where I can definitely settle down, IF the right girl comes along. Other than that I'm still up for the fun of it all.
Am I babbling? |
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| DJMikeyP |
| Layla thanks for the post BTW |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJMikeyP
Personally, I think the only reason we have all these problems with people using sex in place of feelings, or sex ruining relationships is because of god damn male hormones. I think you all know what I'm talking about - the second you get turned on by her or think you have a chance in bed you convince yourself how into her you are, when in reality you're not. Then, after you get laid, you realize how little you liked her, and then feel guilty and its ruined. |
I totally disagree. There's a huge difference between wanting to get jiggy with a girl and actually liking her. If you haven't figured that out yet, you've got some growing up to do.
Yes, we have hormones, and our dicks may tell us things that our brains do not, but not every guy actually thinks with his dick. Women have the same wants and similar hormones - if there are women out there who want a real relationship before sex, why shouldn't there be men? |
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