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love hurts, i need advice (pg. 2)
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| Ibiza Dreams |
| quote: | Originally posted by Mr. Pink
For being a bunch of neo-nerdo TA's...
we're kickin ass on this topic lol |
I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm a pimp. |
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| Zewad |
| quote: | Originally posted by Mr. Pink
For being a bunch of neo-nerdo TA's...
we're kickin ass on this topic lol |
yup you got that right,.. you had a dick on your face :stongue: :stongue:
ok,.. sorry,.. drive by posting :P |
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| Slylee |
| Having a relationship with a phone is very stressful, and no matter how strong your love is for your ex, one of you has to move in order for the relationship to make it. simple as that. If that is not possible, then I would say chose the new girl. She is there in the flesh and you seem to really like her and it sounds like it could grow into something great...this does not mean that you don’t love your ex or that you didn’t want it to work out. You will always care for her and she’ll have a spot with you, but it’s just not going to work out unless you guys fill the gap. It’s going to be hard, and I know you don’t want to chose, but you have to. It will get easier with time. And don’t forget that you also have a 3rd option, which would be neither of the two...and just focus on work or school and yourself for a while. It’s not going to be fair to the new girl that you will still be thinking of your ex, so I would take the time to get over your ex, and then when you are ready, call up the new girl. you have to give yourself a chance to really feel the pain of losing your ex instead of just being around the new girl to forget about it. |
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| Ibiza Dreams |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
...I would take the time to get over your ex, and then when you are ready, call up the new girl. you have to give yourself a chance to really feel the pain of losing your ex instead of just being around the new girl to forget about it. |
I disagree, the best way to get over someone is to substitute those feelings with new ones. There is no reason to give yourself a "chance to feel the pain" of letting go of someone, no one wants to feel pain, and there is no reason to sit around feeling like . Go out, have fun, meet new people, become yourself again.
Of course, you can always find a rebound chick, one you might not truly like, but that can help you get over your breakup. If you have your morals straight, let that chick know you don't want anything serious from the start. But a rebound chick you might end up liking, life is unpredictable. |
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| Slylee |
| yea, no one wants to feel pain, but it's a part of life we all have to deal with. hiding from them or subsituting them does not make them go away, it just masks them. |
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| Mumbo Joe |
holy ....im going thru the exact same thing with my gf....and i know EXACTLY what alot of u are saying in terms of trying to hold on and super busy scheduals....o , its been hell for me.
but some of the advice in here has been kinda helpful....sorry i dont have any good advice of my own to add, just if its meant to be then its meant to be...u gotta believe. |
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| drifter sx |
thanks for the advice people, but i guess i left out some important info.
me and my ex are at 2 different colleges, hence the long distance. so this distance will last till we graduate, and our career paths are gonna separate us even more AFTER graduation. of course we had planned the marriage thing and all that but obviously that wont happen now. what worries me is losing the closeness we had. im afriad ill never have that with anyone else.. which of course is dumb because i probably could, but this has made me put a wall up that makes letting in new people, a big pain in the ass.
i know that even if we never got back together, i wanted to stay in contact. i know that could make things harder but i hate the thouhgt of losing touch with someone i know so well.. but it seems she doesnt want that cuz it hurts her too much. i think thats the thought that sickens me the most.. but being rational, its probably the best thing to do for both of us.. is to let it go. eventually the pain will stop. i guess i should email her and say goodbye like she did to me and make it official, then start life over again huh?.. |
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| Floorfiller |
| well...you don't have to just kick her to the curb. if you really want to maintain that close relationship it will be something that both people truly want. just be straight with her...tell her you love her a lot, but its too hard to do the long distance thing and that you don't see it ever being what you both had wanted. tell her that because you care about her so much you don't want to lose contact with her. she is a huge part of your life and has had a great impact on the person you are. tell her it'll be hard and at times a little awkward, but that if she really loves you...then she will still want to maintain the close relationship you guys had before. maybe even say that you don't know what the future holds for the two of them. tell her that you still have very strong feelings for her and that you aren't counting out anything between you two, but for the time being...i want you to stay my best friend. |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by drifter sx
i guess i should email her and say goodbye like she did to me and make it official, then start life over again huh?.. |
yup...it's gonna hurt, but i think it's best...and i'm speaking from an almost identical personal experience. |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
well...you don't have to just kick her to the curb. if you really want to maintain that close relationship it will be something that both people truly want. |
wrong...
as long as there are feelings beyond friendship involved, that is virtually impossible. everyone knows that. especially if you are going to move on and start dating. you will just add fuel to the fire...and she (or he) will get even more hurt. cut off all contact until maybe one day, when you are TRUELY over her, you want to see how she's doing, or maybe even try to win her love again because you are STILL thinking about her. but for now...just leave her alone. you two need to either move on, or like i said before, move closer to each other and continue the relationship. |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
wrong...
as long as there are feelings beyond friendship involved, that is virtually impossible. everyone knows that. especially if you are going to move on and start dating. you will just add fuel to the fire...and she (or he) will get even more hurt. cut off all contact until maybe one day, when you are TRUELY over her, you want to see how she's doing, or maybe even try to win her love again because you are STILL thinking about her. but for now...just leave her alone. you two need to either move on, or like i said before, move closer to each other and continue the relationship. |
well give me a break i'm trying to convince myself that i can still be friends with my ex hehehe... |
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