|
love hurts, i need advice (pg. 3)
|
View this Thread in Original format
| Eric Siefer |
I went through this when I moved off to college too man, I feel ya.
But these two are right on the money, sucks that I learned em the hard way, but I'm a bigger man for it.
| quote: | You should want to forget about her, it's only normal, holding on to feelings only causes pain. Put more effort into new relationships and new people you meet, as that is the only way you will enjoy them fully. Don't bring your baggage to other relationships bro, that's such a pain in the ass for the other person, either be a man and let go, or go back to your ex, but close one chapter in your life before moving onto the next.
[quote]
Meeting new people is a must, distract yourself, pick up new hobbies. Eventually you'll find something that makes you happy, and when your happy, you'll find someone else. The pain will never go away totally, but things happen for a reason, even if your the one who broke it off (because thats the same thing I did). Remember the good times you had but dont get caught up. Thinking only takes time away from doing things that also make you happy.
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Slylee
as long as there are feelings beyond friendship involved, that is virtually impossible. everyone knows that. especially if you are going to move on and start dating. you will just add fuel to the fire...and she (or he) will get even more hurt. cut off all contact until maybe one day, when you are TRUELY over her, you want to see how she's doing, or maybe even try to win her love again because you are STILL thinking about her. but for now...just leave her alone. |
Again this is true, long distance relationships are tough, especially when theres the "i'm just dating others for now, until we can get together" idea involved. Unless both want to make a serious effort to be together, and see each other. Then break up, and see others. If in the future when you both have things figured out, and you happen to get back together then things were meant to be, but dont count on it. |
|
|
| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
well give me a break i'm trying to convince myself that i can still be friends with my ex hehehe... |
sorry, i'm usually really blunt when trying to get my point across. good luck with everything. but i still think you should follow my advice. i'm really good with stuff like this. |
|
|
| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
sorry, i'm usually really blunt when trying to get my point across. good luck with everything. but i still think you should follow my advice. i'm really good with stuff like this. |
hehhee you're probably right, but i'm a stubborn jerk :stongue: |
|
|
| Mr. Pink |
Im kinda friends with my X...and she completely ed me over.
We were together for 4yrs and whatnot...but we still talk....she gives me advice sometimes and vice versa..... but its not a real giving friendship...just a hello, or i got a problem...and we help each other cuz its the right thing to do....even though her vagina should catch on fire for what she did to me lol
but she did end up getting hers in the end, so no worries. |
|
|
| Stilez |
| yeah!!... sorry dude. IMO.... long distance relationships don't work..... the majority of the time. |
|
|
| JM |
| quote: | Originally posted by drifter sx
PLEASE HELP!!!! |
yo dawg why dont you express to her some of the things you've mentioned in here. if she wont give you the light of day, dont give her too much choice - of course, you cant be forceful and abusive to get her to listen to you, but theres ways. good luck.
>JM< |
|
|
| lücid |
i think it's saying something, if you couldn't find the time for your old girlfriend, yet you find the time to spend with your new girlfriend.
i understand it was long distance but if you feel that you TRULY love her, and she TRULY loves you, you would both find a way to make it work. even if you can't be together now, you would still work towards that final goal of being together, but that takes a lot of work and patience. especially in a long distance relationship, communication is more important than anything. i have had my share of long distance relationships and they never worked out because the level of communication wasn't strong enough.
don't worry or get scared about never finding that closeness again. it's tough to build that up again when you think that nothing will ever compare to your ex. stuff like that takes time to build on. you have to know someone for a while and go through a lot to really get to that point. sometimes you'll find it right away, sometimes it takes time. but if you really feel comfortable with someone and there is that connection, it'll happen.
as for being friends with an ex, i'm going through that right now, and i don't think it works until both people are completely over each other and have moved on.
whatever you decide, good luck. :) |
|
|
| Arbiter |
| You got exactly what you deserve, and so did she. Did you think at all about what might happen if you "temporarily" moved on? Obviously not, or you would have realized that it was a stupid idea to begin with. My advice: learn from your mistakes and maybe you won't up your new relationship the same way you ed up your last one. |
|
|
| spec |
The moral of this story is not to be honest.
What people don't know will never hurt them, so you can keep things alive with the ex whilst enjoying yourself with your new girl. If the new girl turns out to be a nutter then you have a back-up plan, and if your ex moves on then you won't be too heart broken.
Closeness takes time, so you can't expect to have the same connection in a few months with a girl that you had with a girlfriend you spent 2.5 years with, even if the new girl is your soulmate. |
|
|
| Echo of Silence |
| quote: | Originally posted by spec
The moral of this story is not to be honest.
What people don't know will never hurt them, so you can keep things alive with the ex whilst enjoying yourself with your new girl. If the new girl turns out to be a nutter then you have a back-up plan, and if your ex moves on then you won't be too heart broken.
Closeness takes time, so you can't expect to have the same connection in a few months with a girl that you had with a girlfriend you spent 2.5 years with, even if the new girl is your soulmate. |
Remember, Spec, we have to live with ourselves. Because of that, I think it's better to be honest. Then, we can look in the mirror and see good people. People we're proud to be. People with character and integrity. |
|
|
| smallSHEEP |
| quote: | Originally posted by drifter sx
PLEASE HELP!!!! |
It appears that you have forgotten that the main key building block of a relationship is good communication. She has told you exactly how she feels (something that is hard to do) so hard to do infact that you have neglected to afford her the same courtesy. I'm not exactly sure how you feel about her but it seems that you want to bone this new chick for a while until you are in a better position to get together with your old girlfriend. Now if you truely 'love' her this new woman would mean nothing to you. You basically should have shown a little more respect.
She tells you she loves you and your like - oh but i'm boning this other girl right now and i love you and everything but i just wanna shag her a while till i get bored and then i can have you instead like. hmm |
|
|
| spec |
| quote: | Originally posted by Echo of Silence
Remember, Spec, we have to live with ourselves. Because of that, I think it's better to be honest. Then, we can look in the mirror and see good people. People we're proud to be. People with character and integrity. |
Honesty on occasion can present a painful reality, especially before he has figured out where his head is at.
When you choose to have a long distance relationship one must give the other a certain amount of freedom to continue to enjoy their lives, and this freedom when combined with means that not every part of your life needs to be devulged.
Now if it is truly meant to be, its truly meant to be, and time does not effect strong connections. |
|
|
|
|
