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You gotta love yourself before you can love someone else ... explanation? (pg. 3)
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| Skipper |
truthfully, the only way to "overcome" what you're feeling is to have solo time, not dating, not in a relationship. I said this over and over to my now ex boyfriend, but then only two months after we split, he invited someone he just met to move in with him.
Some people won't learn unless they are forced to. (ie, can't find anyone to be with, no matter how hard they look)
Do yourself a favor and spend some quality time with yourself. |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by Skipper
truthfully, the only way to "overcome" what you're feeling is to have solo time, not dating, not in a relationship. I said this over and over to my now ex boyfriend, but then only two months after we split, he invited someone he just met to move in with him.
Some people won't learn unless they are forced to. (ie, can't find anyone to be with, no matter how hard they look)
Do yourself a favor and spend some quality time with yourself. |
Cheap floozies help too. Try some of those. |
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| tatgirl |
| quote: | Originally posted by Skipper
truthfully, the only way to "overcome" what you're feeling is to have solo time, not dating, not in a relationship. I said this over and over to my now ex boyfriend, but then only two months after we split, he invited someone he just met to move in with him.
Some people won't learn unless they are forced to. (ie, can't find anyone to be with, no matter how hard they look)
Do yourself a favor and spend some quality time with yourself. |
Sarah knows what she's talking about. |
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| ShadoWolf |
| Masturbate before a date. |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by tatgirl
Sarah knows what she's talking about. |
Yeah Sarah's great, but in all seriousness, if you're a guy and you've got a confidence problem then you want to go out and socialize as much as possible, not spend excessive amounts of time alone. Having your own interests (preferably outside the house) is important too, but it's not as important for confidence as your overall level of comfort around other people.
Cheap floozies - I swear, I'm not kidding. And booze. |
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| kamil |
| quote: | Originally posted by Skipper
How old are you?? Are you serious?
I have always said this, and from past relationships I have found it to be true.
It means that you need to be your own person, be independent and self sufficient before you can truly love anyone else. You need to be happy being alone before you can be truly happy with someone else. You need to have a life outside of a relationship, and be satisfied with that life, before you can invite someone in. Otherwise, your intention in that relationship won't JUST be to be with that person, but also to not be alone. That shouldn't be part of your motivation to be involved with someone. (although this is a very sub-conscious motivation, not often recognized by the individual, but always obvious to close friends)
I have several girlfriends who MUST have a boyfriend. They cannot exist on their own! They are not happy being alone, they base their self worth on a relationship. They have been in a sequence of relationships for so long that they don't even know what they are like as a single entity anymore - they are always half of something. I just ended a relationship mostly because of this issue.
Before you can fully love and appreciate someone else, you need a good sense of self, of independence - this is what it means to love yourself. You have to love yourself before you truly love anyone else. |
Im 21, and i am myself, trust me, im myself all the time. And i really dont give a about if ppl dont like the way i am, ill consider those bunch tossers, cuz im a cool guy and everyone gets a good laugh around me.
All this lovey dubby horse is making me sick tbh, "i love my girlfriend, blah bla bla bla...." that, REAL love rarely exists, especially since most of us here are 25 and under.
oh yeah, and im perfectly fine without a girlfriend (well im kind of seeing this one girl right now, but ive told her i dont want a serious relationship, so its just casual)
im too busy for a relationship, and atm, im putting school as a #1 priority, i dont really give a about relationships, especially when the last two this year got ed up. Im tired of relationships, ive given up and im not even gonna bother. it. |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by kamil
All this lovey dubby horse is making me sick tbh, "i love my girlfriend, blah bla bla bla...." that, REAL love rarely exists, especially since most of us here are 25 and under. |
What does age have to do with it? The whole point of the message in this thread refers to the difference between love and dependence. Sure, successful long-term relationships don't happen often when people are 17, but plenty happen before they turn 25.
Edit: I just read the rest of your post that just got edited in, sounds like you're making excuses. If you're too busy for a relationship then maybe you should also be too busy to give other people advice. |
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| Skipper |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
Cheap floozies help too. Try some of those. |
Aaron: so smart, so jaded, so lonely.
:p |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by Skipper
Aaron: so smart, so jaded, so lonely.
:p |
Well, you know how it is, after meeting you I just lost interest in everyone else. 
No, seriously, how do you figure? |
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| Swamper |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
Cheap floozies - I swear, I'm not kidding. And booze. |
This turns OLD real fast. Lowering your expectations just cheapens yourself and after you're done (so to speak) you're not any better off in your goal (re: thread topic) |
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| StereoPrincess |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
No it isn't. Although it probably would make more sense that way, but a lot of clichés are back-asswards. |
yes it is. and it means that if you can't love yourself, you will never believe that someone else can love you. no matter what they do and how well they treat you, you will always doubt that and find ways to ruin relationships for yourself.
you have to know your own worth before you can have someone else as an equal partner.
It is easy to love someone else without loving yourself. |
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| VERTiG0 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Swamper
This turns OLD real fast. Lowering your expectations just cheapens yourself and after you're done (so to speak) you're not any better off in your goal (re: thread topic) |
Depends how drunk you are at the houseparty, dude :D |
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