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For Christ's Sake, someone shoot my mother down! Immediately!!! (pg. 2)
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| Swamper |
You should've told her:
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| Ian^ |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
Mother: Son?
Me: Hello, may I help you?
Mother: Got condoms? What brand?
Me: Wha!?
Mother: I want to know if you buy condoms.
Me: Heck, what are you asking this for?
Mother: Because I'm going to buy them for you.
Me: Cheers, mum, but sheaths aren't really that expensive.
Mother: ... I want names.
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.... well mum, there was Laura, she was ok but usually didn't wanna bother with them, then there was sarah, she was on the pill so we didn't need to, we spent the money on drugs instead, and finally there was cousin alice. hmm she's coming for my birthday next week ? you best pick another 12 pack up |
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| Denser |
| quote: | Originally posted by |cEbLu3
:toocool: |
:toocool:
:conf: |
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| dinoXpress |
pwned.
my mom only gets pissed off bout drugs. on day she was just like, and how much weed have you been smoking?
i said not enough. |
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| TranceGiant |
Eww....Still not as bad as the infamous Condom speech my das was giving shortly after my 16th birthday.
The two of us were on a long trip on the highway, when all of a sudden he closes the car's windows(probably some sort of special effect to add some drama) and points outside.
"You see that, son?"
"Cars?"
"People."
"yes?"
"You hit the wrong one, you're dead. They are time bombs. Everyhwere they are"
"Heh?"
(at this point I was a bit worried about my dad's sanity)
Then he started listing all STD's. Followed by a vivid description of the body's decay. Followed by detailed explanation of the final stage of each disease. Followed by the description of the mental state onme must go through while waiting for test results.
It took about 1.5 hours. By the end I was pale, shocked by my Dad's surprsinigly rich imagination, and digusted by the mere thought of a female body anywhere near me.
"Okay. Now that we got that settled, look back."
I saw a pack of condoms. Nice gift.
I'm still somewhat traumataized
:nervous: |
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| flavdave |
| quote: | Originally posted by TranceGiant
Eww....Still not as bad as the infamous Condom speech my das was giving shortly after my 16th birthday.
The two of us were on a long trip on the highway, when all of a sudden he closes the car's windows(probably some sort of special effect to add some drama) and points outside.
"You see that, son?"
"Cars?"
"People."
"yes?"
"You hit the wrong one, you're dead. They are time bombs. Everyhwere they are"
"Heh?"
(at this point I was a bit worried about my dad's sanity)
Then he started listing all STD's. Followed by a vivid description of the body's decay. Followed by detailed explanation of the final stage of each disease. Followed by the description of the mental state onme must go through while waiting for test results.
It took about 1.5 hours. By the end I was pale, shocked by my Dad's surprsinigly rich imagination, and digusted by the mere thought of a female body anywhere near me.
"Okay. Now that we got that settled, look back."
I saw a pack of condoms. Nice gift.
I'm still somewhat traumataized
:nervous: |
Holy I hope I have a son so I can do that to him. |
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| Greedy |
| sounds like ur a mama's boy! |
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| Arbiter |
| Seems as though your parents still need to be trained. |
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| Spacey Orange |
| get 'em and send 'em to me.:happy2: |
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| trunks1022 |
| thought she wanted rubbers for herself |
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| jdat |
next time ask her to show you hands on how to slip the jimmy hat on ...
I'm sure she'll stop the convo right there and then! |
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| DJ Mikey Mike |
Your mum is a massive fool on quite a few levels. But now that it's happened, you may as well take advantage of it. Tell her that she needs to get you these:
Your girlfriend will love you for it, and you'll know where that extra money went, trust me. ;) |
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