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For Christ's Sake, someone shoot my mother down! Immediately!!! (pg. 4)
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| |cEbLu3 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Denser
:toocool:
:conf: |
i use that smiley when i'm posting stoned matey, :thepirate
:toocool: |
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| Mr. Pink |
| quote: | Originally posted by Spacey Orange
my mom doesn't even take the trouble to take me to wendys. she just smashes bottles of wine on my head at home. |
well, then you have to ask yourself this:
what kind of wine is it?:conf:
expensive wine= she loves you
cheap wine= she loves you not |
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| Matt |
Son: Condoms?!?! WTF IS THE POINT I AM ALREADY INFECTED!!!
Mother: Oooooh... sorry.... forgot... bout that.... TOODLES!! |
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| guster |
| quote: | Originally posted by Matt
Son: Condoms?!?! WTF IS THE POINT I AM ALREADY INFECTED!!!
Mother: Oooooh... sorry.... forgot... bout that.... TOODLES!! |
ewwwww. a girl i went to high school with is infected with some std... her face is always blotchy and red and seeping liquids and . god it's disturbing. :nervous: |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by Arbiter
Seems as though your parents still need to be trained. |
They all need some extra-training, I reckon, but she's a lot better now that she's become this holistic post-modern hippy, or whatever she is :p It used to be worse, believe me.
| quote: | Originally posted by TranceGiant
Eww....Still not as bad as the infamous Condom speech my das was giving shortly after my 16th birthday.
The two of us were on a long trip on the highway, when all of a sudden he closes the car's windows(probably some sort of special effect to add some drama) and points outside.
"You see that, son?"
"Cars?"
"People."
"yes?"
"You hit the wrong one, you're dead. They are time bombs. Everyhwere they are"
"Heh?"
(at this point I was a bit worried about my dad's sanity)
Then he started listing all STD's. Followed by a vivid description of the body's decay. Followed by detailed explanation of the final stage of each disease. Followed by the description of the mental state onme must go through while waiting for test results.
It took about 1.5 hours. By the end I was pale, shocked by my Dad's surprsinigly rich imagination, and digusted by the mere thought of a female body anywhere near me.
"Okay. Now that we got that settled, look back."
I saw a pack of condoms. Nice gift.
I'm still somewhat traumataized
:nervous: |
That's it, I want to have a son so I can do that to him too :D
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ Mikey Mike
Your mum is a massive fool on quite a few levels. But now that it's happened, you may as well take advantage of it. Tell her that she needs to get you these:
Your girlfriend will love you for it, and you'll know where that extra money went, trust me. ;) |
Hah! If only Durex here weren't just a brand of scotch tape :( :p I'll remember that if I ever go to Europe :D
| quote: | Originally posted by Wildfir3
who knows, maybe she's a milf and he likes her? |
Eeeew, doood :eek:
| quote: | Originally posted by Mr. Pink
Hey, at least your mom cares about you man.
my mom just takes me out to wendy's and smashes bottles of wine on my head :( |
:sadgreen:
Bottles of wine!?
| quote: | Originally posted by mongeone
Man that s nothing. My mums been giving me condoms since I was about 11. Had about 150 of the buggers just lying there for ages. She works at a community health centre so she can get them for free by the bucketloads. I asked her to send me some because the ones in Japan are ed and a couple of weeks later I got a letter from customs asking me to prove that I havea commercial sales license for condoms.
The best convo weve had went something like this:
(Mum, Dad, me and girlfriend sitting at table eating dinner)
Mum: Will and Claire can i ask you a favor?
Me: Yeah what!
Mum: I have to wake up early tomorrow morning for an important meeting...
Dad: Will stop been such a grub eat properly (goes back to his beer)
Mum: Anyways, can you and claire keep the hanky panky quiet tonight so I can get a good nights sleep. Youve been pretty loud lately.
Dad: Oh come on Sal let the man soe his oats in peace
Me: yeah mum what the .
(girlfriend blushing hardcore in the corner)
Tis a memorable story that one =] |
:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
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| wizniz |
thats my name!
anyways this is more akward:
edit:
its off of big boys :disbelief |
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| trewqy |
my dad and mom gave me the sex speech around my 18th birthday..
too bad i lost my virginity a few weeks before that!!..
anyways..they found 2 condoms in my wallet and my dad was very disappointed. Hes a pretty popular guy around my community and hes afraid i might have screwed some of his friend's daughters..
my mom was ok...prolly was thankful i was being safe.. |
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| jonSun |
| To convince your Mum, just use a condom & give it to her when your done. ;) |
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| smokeape |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
There I was, minding my own business, and my mother sneaks into my bedroom.
Mother: Son?
Me: Hello, may I help you?
Mother: Got condoms? What brand?
Me: Wha!?
Mother: I want to know if you buy condoms.
Me: Heck, what are you asking this for?
Mother: Because I'm going to buy them for you.
Me: Cheers, mum, but sheaths aren't really that expensive.
Mother: ... I want names.
Me: Not to worry, mum.
Mother: My intuitions say you should be cautious about it.
Me: Heck, I'm not talking about it with you but, yeah, we're cautious, don't worry.
Mother: Pills aren't 100% effective.
Me: The last time you had an intuition, you thought I was a junkie.
Mother: You had vodka in your backpack
Me: It was a Soviet flask, for Christ's sake, my friend had given me the flask with the vodka. Besides, I had not drunk that, had I?
Mother: But you had a different energy!
Me: Energy, energy... *random gibberish*
Mother: You don't even have a job.
Me: Oi, I'm not well-paid, but I do have one! Two, actually!
Mother: Kay then, promise you'll be wearing condoms when you go out?
Me: Mum!
Mother: Promise? I know you can't lie.
Me: Come on!
Mother: Give me the name then.
Me: *writes down* - now please kindly leave so I can be embarrassed by myself.
*mother leaves*
I mean, last time she had a similar convo asking my girlfriend face-to-face whether she was on pills. Doesn't mothers know where to stop? Heck, it's not like TA where I'm talking to people I've never met (although I would like to meet some), she's my mother, and she talks about it as if it were natural!!!1 :p
(I'm 22, in case someone is wondering, and I had waited till I was 21 AND in a stable relationship since I was fully aware of sex's side-effects). |
Well... so why the f*ck are you still living at home? Become self supportive, move out, and then you won't have to live through the daily inquisitions. Mom don't want you living at home unwed with children. Believe she's making that point crystal clear.
;)
[[[smoke]]]
Morgan Page & Gregory Shiff - All I Know (Cattaneo Mix) |
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| Danny Ocean |
| just remember raw power = raw power |
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| smokeape |
| quote: | Originally posted by Danny Ocean
just remember raw power = raw power |
Yep, raw power = raw power for sure. My Ranger 4x4 has so much volume with 1500W, I have to try to keep it down to reasonable levels. Oh, yeah, forgot that comment came from a forum about PC speakers. Well, 900W with 400 and 500W amps ain't diminished here either. So yeah, raw power rulez...
;)
[[[smoke]]]
Andy Moor ft Lianne Brookson - No More |
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| ::TranceVanDyk:: |
| quote: | Originally posted by mongeone
Man that s nothing. My mums been giving me condoms since I was about 11. Had about 150 of the buggers just lying there for ages. She works at a community health centre so she can get them for free by the bucketloads. I asked her to send me some because the ones in Japan are ed and a couple of weeks later I got a letter from customs asking me to prove that I havea commercial sales license for condoms.
The best convo weve had went something like this:
(Mum, Dad, me and girlfriend sitting at table eating dinner)
Mum: Will and Claire can i ask you a favor?
Me: Yeah what!
Mum: I have to wake up early tomorrow morning for an important meeting...
Dad: Will stop been such a grub eat properly (goes back to his beer)
Mum: Anyways, can you and claire keep the hanky panky quiet tonight so I can get a good nights sleep. Youve been pretty loud lately.
Dad: Oh come on Sal let the man soe his oats in peace
Me: yeah mum what the .
(girlfriend blushing hardcore in the corner)
Tis a memorable story that one =] |
thats one to remember:stongue: |
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