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Review: Forever Eden @ sonic... (pg. 5)
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| MarkT |
| quote: | Originally posted by musicsnob_NOT
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On a side note I'm happy to see a whole new group of gay TA's that have suddenly shown up on this site...Mark you and I will have to make a point of meeting them at Sonic of Guv soon since it appears none of us are interested in going to Fly anymore. |
indeed...these threads do serve a 2nd purpose, haha. I think it's time for a 'pics or stfu' comment to all the single boys out there :p
I enjoy discussions like this...it is a very interesting time in which to be living...younger generations (ok, i'm not *that* old) are growing up in a very different environment than people did even 10 years ago...the net has provided easy and fast communication with others...and while the proper rave and afterhours scene has always been rather welcoming or tolerant for gays (think Industry, Limelight, System, raves), the more mainstream and bigger clubs (like Guv, Sonic) are seeing more diverse crowds as well. Fortunately for them, the gaybourhood isn't the main option anymore.
While much of the proper gay scene remains "vacuous" and "snobby"...it's a bad generalization to perpetuate. I've met plenty of genuinely nice people over the years at Fly, 5ive, Buddies, etc...and quite a few of the crew (over 7 years and counting for a few of them) were part of a circle of club friends. The community has (had?) its benefits... |
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| van haaster |
| quote: | Originally posted by The Highroller
While I agree with this, there is a little something called decency I tend to see lacking among gay males, especially at a place like Sonic. I think that people should have to act decent at the very least. I mean hey, I've been known let my dancing get a little bit heated on the dancefloor, but there's a line that shouldn't be crossed that I see crossed way too often at Sonic. |
Kudos! This is exactly the kind of dialog we all need to have to foster understanding and respect between the communities. And I agree with your point, btw. Of course, the terms “decency” and “lines that shouldn’t be crossed” are subjective and if you asked five different people I’m sure you would get five different answers ;) But the point is, you’re opening up a line of communication that has been sorely neglected and needs to be addressed. I would welcome a no-holds-barred discussion of what works and what doesn’t in terms of behaviour.
On the flip side, there’s some behaviour change that needs to happen in the straight community as well. For example, I find there’s a tendency for straight males to take extreme offense to being admired by other males. The irony is that while these same dudes think nothing of making repeated and unwelcome come-ons to females, they appear to be appalled when the same thing happens to them. LOL! While I think a lot of this is simply inexperience, I find the double standard irritating nonetheless. |
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| The Highroller |
| quote: | Originally posted by van haaster
Kudos! This is exactly the kind of dialog we all need to have to foster understanding and respect between the communities. And I agree with your point, btw. Of course, the terms “decency” and “lines that shouldn’t be crossed” are subjective and if you asked five different people I’m sure you would get five different answers ;) But the point is, you’re opening up a line of communication that has been sorely neglected and needs to be addressed. I would welcome a no-holds-barred discussion of what works and what doesn’t in terms of behaviour. |
I don't think it's possible to write out what's acceptable and what isn't. Use your discretion. A short make-out session with your partner is acceptable. A 5+ minute long make-out session, or a make-out session with more than 2 people is not. Grinding your partner for a short period of time is acceptable. Dry ing your partner is not.
| quote: | | On the flip side, there’s some behaviour change that needs to happen in the straight community as well. For example, I find there’s a tendency for straight males to take extreme offense to being admired by other males. The irony is that while these same dudes think nothing of making repeated and unwelcome come-ons to females, they appear to be appalled when the same thing happens to them. LOL! While I think a lot of this is simply inexperience, I find the double standard irritating nonetheless. |
I completely agree with you here. I think it's pretty ridiculous when guys take extreme offense to being admired by other males. When this happens to me, as long as I'm approached in a non-sketchy way, although I decline, I'm usually flattered. Just like when a man is persistent in hitting on a woman, even though it's unwanted, I get annoyed when a guy continues to hit on me when he knows it's unwanted.
I think when guys take extreme offense to getting hit on, it's usually because they're not used to that kind of thing. I think this kind of thing is happening less and less. |
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| Floorwhore |
| quote: | Originally posted by Sean Cassidy
and the show was probably also brought to you by the letter K as well
and Tina (Crystal Meth) was most definitely there showing off her whorish bareback ways.......
Gairy Brown - gave me a flyer for the party and I am like why would I celebrate my birthday party here?? Labour of Love is where it is at - something for everyone - can't get MORE INCLUSIVE THAN THAT right??
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and i'm sure tina and her buddy k werent making appearances at labour of love........
i personally wasn't at the party, but bottom line is the eden parties have been very successful thus far at sonic, so there must be a demand coming from somewhere.
i don't see it fit to bash a party that you didn't even attend, especially when you promote for another venue sean. |
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| musicsnob_NOT |
| quote: | Originally posted by van haaster
Kudos! This is exactly the kind of dialog we all need to have to foster understanding and respect between the communities. And I agree with your point, btw. Of course, the terms “decency” and “lines that shouldn’t be crossed” are subjective and if you asked five different people I’m sure you would get five different answers ;) But the point is, you’re opening up a line of communication that has been sorely neglected and needs to be addressed. I would welcome a no-holds-barred discussion of what works and what doesn’t in terms of behaviour.
On the flip side, there’s some behaviour change that needs to happen in the straight community as well. For example, I find there’s a tendency for straight males to take extreme offense to being admired by other males. The irony is that while these same dudes think nothing of making repeated and unwelcome come-ons to females, they appear to be appalled when the same thing happens to them. LOL! While I think a lot of this is simply inexperience, I find the double standard irritating nonetheless. |
Graham is a very good friend of mine and I can tell you he is truly a great guy who is very accepting and open to everyone, gay or str8. Toronto's "scene" needs a lot more people like him. He was celebrating Pride at the Church and Wellsley stage on Sunday this year and had such a great time he came to the Closing party (paid $80 ing dollars at the door) with me on Sunday night to hang out with me and show his support.
| quote: | Originally posted by The Highroller
I completely agree with you here. I think it's pretty ridiculous when guys take extreme offense to being admired by other males. When this happens to me, as long as I'm approached in a non-sketchy way, although I decline, I'm usually flattered. Just like when a man is persistent in hitting on a woman, even though it's unwanted, I get annoyed when a guy continues to hit on me when he knows it's unwanted.
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Yes, Graham does get hit on a lot at parties (even by some of the gay TA's) and he is nothing but respectful unless the guy goes too far at which point like anyone who is being hit on by someone who is being too agressive he has every right to get mad. |
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| Milli-on |
| a lot of good points... |
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| Floorwhore |
| quote: | Originally posted by fairy godfather
I think in the long run, it will damage their image... |
TA, i welcome you our gay version of clayton bigsby.....
:crazy: |
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| rabbitjoker |
| quote: | Originally posted by MarkT
the thread has become an interseting one |
Agreed 100%. Very insightful. |
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| girllovingtvibe |
| hmmmmm.....FLY the FIRST place I started partying...so many incredible memories there! It was my Saturday spot for the better part or the beginning part of my clubland experience....I met one of my best friends there...will never forget that...Loved that memory :) |
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| rabbitjoker |
| quote: | Originally posted by van haaster
On the flip side, there’s some behaviour change that needs to happen in the straight community as well. For example, I find there’s a tendency for straight males to take extreme offense to being admired by other males. The irony is that while these same dudes think nothing of making repeated and unwelcome come-ons to females, they appear to be appalled when the same thing happens to them. LOL! While I think a lot of this is simply inexperience, I find the double standard irritating nonetheless. |
I've noticed this myself as well. The inconsistency of the situation is baffling.
Frankly - being politely admired by anybody (gay or straight) should not rouse an irrational or disrespectful response. (Polite) admiration is simply appreciating something about another person. A reasonable person would feel (somewhat) flattered by that.
Gratuitous attempts to "pick someone up" to the point where people are uncomfortable is not acceptable - no matter who is doing it (guys, girls, straight, gay). I see this type of behavior going pretty much every night out and usually it's some poor person on the receiving end who just wants to go out and have fun and not be hassled by trollers.
I think it boils down to haivng respect for others (and ultimately having enough respect for one's self). |
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| EvilTree |
| quote: | Originally posted by rabbitjoker
Gratuitous attempts to "pick someone up" to the point where people are uncomfortable is not acceptable - no matter who is doing it (guys, girls, straight, gay). I see this type of behavior going pretty much every night out and usually it's some poor person on the receiving end who just wants to go out and have fun and not be hassled by trollers. |
Nothing a good throat punch won't solve.
| quote: |
I think it boils down to haivng respect for others (and ultimately having enough respect for one's self). |
We live in a world of 'Me Me Me'. Self gratification at expense of others. |
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| scarred4ever |
Very insightful thread guys, some very intelligent and articulate posts.
Personally, there was no question in my mind about attending Labour of Love or the Eden party at Sonic... I always pick places such as Footwork, Sonic, the Zone, Guvernment (especially Gallery) where I feel comfortable and I know the vibe will be relaxed and tolerant. There is always a high number of gay boys at these clubs anyways.
But most importantly for me, its about the music. I dont enjoy gay over the top circuit house which is played at Fly or the Eden parties, and I heard that the music sunday night was awful as I had no doubt it would. Venues such as Guv, Sonic etc bring in the DJs that I want to see and play the dark, dirty, tribal house that I like.
I do enjoy the occasional visit to Fly or all gay events for as someone stated, the eye candy. And to be honest, it is a completely different vibe and sometimes I like just being completely at ease because even at Sonic or Gallery I know that the crowd is at least 70% straight and there are some things that you just dont do (Im not talking about being a slut here lol, just in general). But I have never experienced discrimination at places like that, my BF and I are always there together, its evident we are together, we dance, kiss etc.. Everyone is respectful.
And while I do feel comfortable in an afterhours venue or a club that i know is catered to a mixed crowd... I rarely venture to club district clubs or "regular, straight clubs" like Metro, Mink etc... I would go, but I would feel rather uncomfortbalea and inhibited. Not to mention the music just plain sucks. So in that respects, I would prefer a gay environment or gay friendly environment, as mainstream clubs dont offer that at all. |
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