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Question for the girls (and advice from guys is appreciated) (pg. 8)
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
don't you guys have trouble trusting people sometimes? i mean sometimes i really do. you just get bombarded with cheating this cheating that...makes me really paranoid... |
Nope. Actually a friend from my program is so used to ed up relationships and infidelity that she was surprised to find out my bf and I have always been faithful.
It's sad that that's the norm for most people. |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by gehzumteufel
lol yeah i agree. us guys are s. too many guys are just so bitter but wont admit that they want more because they wont set their stupid feelings aside and make their life what they want. |
girls can be just as bad. i definitely don't blame it on guys only. there's just a lot of ed up relationships out there, and people who stay in relationships for all the wrong reasons. both sexes are guilty of it.
guys are just the ones who get caught more often because they're usually stupid about it. :p |
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| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
Nope. Actually a friend from my program is so used to ed up relationships and infidelity that she was surprised to find out my bf and I have always been faithful.
It's sad that that's the norm for most people. |
yeah that is very sad. one of my best friends is similar. she thinks that every guy will cheat. |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
don't you guys have trouble trusting people sometimes? i mean sometimes i really do. you just get bombarded with cheating this cheating that...makes me really paranoid... |
By some miracle of god, I am able to trust each new person I become involved with. I mean, I’m pretty on the ball already, and so not much gets by me, but sometimes we are blinded by “love” so whatever, happens.
But yea, I don’t like to let horrible things like that bother me for too long. It’s not worth it and if you really think about it, you’re letting them win and destroy your life by allowing the bad experience to enter your new relationships. You have to rise above that. It shows a tremendous amount of strength if you’re able to do this. I mean, not to toot my own horn or whatever, but I guess you could say I’ve been through so much in my early 20’s/late teens that I’ve pretty much mastered “moving on”. I’m thankful for it. |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by gehzumteufel
yeah that is very sad. one of my best friends is similar. she thinks that every guy will cheat. |
I do believe that past behaviour or being in those situations is enough to make people mistrust others. But I also think a lot of that fear and doubt has to do with insecurity.
Some of my girlfriends are absolutely batty about suspecting their bfs of cheating. Their level of neuroticism is mind-boggling. |
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| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
girls can be just as bad. i definitely don't blame it on guys only. there's just a lot of ed up relationships out there, and people who stay in relationships for all the wrong reasons. both sexes are guilty of it.
guys are just the ones who get caught more often because they're usually stupid about it. :p |
i dont disagree that girls can and do act in similar ways. it just seems that guys are doing it more often than the girls. |
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| Slylee |
| that usually means they can't be trusted themselves. |
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| Floorfiller |
yeah i knew you'd say that jenny because i know your situation :p
but i mean man...obviously i haven't been in a serious relationship in a while, but sometimes i worry i'll meet some beautiful girl that's sweet and perfect, but i'll it up by being paranoid.
i think i'm definitely a lot more trusting then i used to be, but sometimes i feel like society condones cheating and almost encourage it... |
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| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
don't you guys have trouble trusting people sometimes? i mean sometimes i really do. you just get bombarded with cheating this cheating that...makes me really paranoid... |
i use my best instincts to surround myself with people i can trust. sometimes you just KNOW whether someone is trustworthy or not. you can get a certain vibe or feeling about someone. i will usually give people the benefit of the doubt until they let me down, or start showing me signs that they're going to let me down. i mean it would suck to go through life being all paranoid that every person is gonna you over and break your heart. you've gotta take some chances and not always live in fear. as a consequence there's always the chance of being let down, but if that happens it's only going to make you a stronger, wiser, more perceptive person. |
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| Ygrene |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
don't you guys have trouble trusting people sometimes? i mean sometimes i really do. you just get bombarded with cheating this cheating that...makes me really paranoid... |
I never did until reading this post. I'm texting my wife right now telling her we are divorced. |
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| Floorfiller |
| quote: | Originally posted by Ygrene
I never did until reading this post. I'm texting my wife right now telling her we are divorced. |
hahaha....
yeah i know exactly what you mean lucid. and honestly i like to think i've gotten past all that kinda stuff...i think it's definitely something felt by inexperienced daters. but i guess you never really know until you're faced with it...:p |
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| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
yeah i knew you'd say that jenny because i know your situation :p
but i mean man...obviously i haven't been in a serious relationship in a while, but sometimes i worry i'll meet some beautiful girl that's sweet and perfect, but i'll it up by being paranoid.
i think i'm definitely a lot more trusting then i used to be, but sometimes i feel like society condones cheating and almost encourage it... |
Nah, you know...like I said, it all comes down to your own level of self-worth. Fear of the other person cheating shouldn't even come into play if you believe you're worthy of a caring relationship, and if you trust your OWN judgment of people.
I dunno, I think there would be obvious signs if your S.O. was cheating...especially if you have a very open and honest relationship.
edit: +1 to what Myra said. |
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