|
Question for the girls (and advice from guys is appreciated) (pg. 9)
|
View this Thread in Original format
| RJT |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
i use my best instincts to surround myself with people i can trust. sometimes you just KNOW whether someone is trustworthy or not. you can get a certain vibe or feeling about someone. i will usually give people the benefit of the doubt until they let me down, or start showing me signs that they're going to let me down. i mean it would suck to go through life being all paranoid that every person is gonna you over and break your heart. you've gotta take some chances and not always live in fear. as a consequence there's always the chance of being let down, but if that happens it's only going to make you a stronger, wiser, more perceptive person. |
Myra layin' down the relationship wisdom as always - I knew this thread would take up a few minutes of your time today 
And Angie, that's ed. Sell that and send your ex a copy of the check you get, just to stick it to him ;)
And make sure in the "memo" area you write "Tiffany's Bracelet/Necklace/Whatever the it was."
:p |
|
|
| Ygrene |
| quote: | Originally posted by RJT
And make sure in the "memo" area you write "Tiffany's Bracelet/Necklace/Whatever the it was."
|
And draw a little middle finger too. |
|
|
| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by Floorfiller
but sometimes i feel like society condones cheating and almost encourage it... |
i don't think that's true at all. i actually used to feel that way... but i also used to hang out with a lot of sketchy people who acted like that was the norm. as ive gotten older and my friends are growing up and i surround myself with good people who aren't selfish s, i realize that most of them look down upon cheating as if its one of the worst things you could do.
or maybe that's just what happens when you move from NY to Wisconsin... midwesterners are so... nice. :stongue:
god damnit, guys. i was trying to stay away from COR this week, but relationship threads are my weakness. |
|
|
| RJT |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
god damnit, guys. i was trying to stay away from COR this week, but relationship threads are my weakness. |
PWND! :clown:
PS: +1 to middle finger drawing. SRSLY. |
|
|
| kid nyce |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
or maybe that's just what happens when you move from NY to Wisconsin... midwesterners are so... nice. :stongue:
|
can't take the NY out of ya! lol |
|
|
| Ang ' ela_ie |
I try and do the same thing, Myra. Im always making sure that my friends are trustworthy and Id never date a guy that I think would cheat on me. I used to joke with him all the time, telling him not to find another girl on business trips or when hes out with his friends. He always told me not to worry and that Im the only girl in his life yadda yadda...
And then I believed him. Mistake #1. |
|
|
| gehzumteufel |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
By some miracle of god, I am able to trust each new person I become involved with. I mean, I’m pretty on the ball already, and so not much gets by me, but sometimes we are blinded by “love” so whatever, happens.
But yea, I don’t like to let horrible things like that bother me for too long. It’s not worth it and if you really think about it, you’re letting them win and destroy your life by allowing the bad experience to enter your new relationships. You have to rise above that. It shows a tremendous amount of strength if you’re able to do this. I mean, not to toot my own horn or whatever, but I guess you could say I’ve been through so much in my early 20’s/late teens that I’ve pretty much mastered “moving on”. I’m thankful for it. |
yeah i do what i can to give every girl the same chance i would want. its just not fair to have the view that they are all the same or will do the same things that the others have done.
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
I do believe that past behaviour or being in those situations is enough to make people mistrust others. But I also think a lot of that fear and doubt has to do with insecurity.
Some of my girlfriends are absolutely batty about suspecting their bfs of cheating. Their level of neuroticism is mind-boggling. |
while i do agree that their past behavior is a way to gauge what they will do but at the same time past behavior is just that. the past. they can change and make themselves better. they can get their life on the right track. why should that be held against them? you have to give people a chance but that doesnt mean throw your cause for concern out the window. |
|
|
| hadi burpee |
| was the neckless a gift from him trying to mend your relationship or get it started again or a sorry? either of the ways, money can't buy love or forgiveness (unless its over 1 million dollars ;) ) . do whatever you want with the neckless. |
|
|
| lücid |
| quote: | Originally posted by kid nyce
can't take the NY out of ya! lol |
nah... i'm like 75% Wisco, 25% NY. i never felt like i belonged there. i'm too nice!
| quote: | Originally posted by Ang ' ela_ie
And then I believed him. Mistake #1. |
it wasn't your mistake, babe. how could you have known he'd do something so ty? you gave it your all and he is the one who ed up... not you. |
|
|
| Silky Johnson |
| quote: | Originally posted by gehzumteufel
while i do agree that their past behavior is a way to gauge what they will do but at the same time past behavior is just that. the past. they can change and make themselves better. they can get their life on the right track. why should that be held against them? you have to give people a chance but that doesnt mean throw your cause for concern out the window. |
No no...that's not what I meant. I agree 100% with what you're saying.
What I meant was for the people who have been wronged by others repeatedly....I can understand why they would have trouble trusting people.
But on the flip side of that, I would tell them to ask themselves why they think they continually meet people who wrong them.
What's that saying...
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." |
|
|
| Ang ' ela_ie |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
But yea, I don’t like to let horrible things like that bother me for too long. It’s not worth it and if you really think about it, you’re letting them win and destroy your life by allowing the bad experience to enter your new relationships. You have to rise above that. It shows a tremendous amount of strength if you’re able to do this. I mean, not to toot my own horn or whatever, but I guess you could say I’ve been through so much in my early 20’s/late teens that I’ve pretty much mastered “moving on”. I’m thankful for it. |
Do you ever worry about becoming "numb" to the whole dating situation? I mean, heres my take. It seems like the more we have this horrible experiences, the quicker we are able to pick up and move on. On one hand, this is Darwinism at its finest. We are learning how to survive dating. On the other hand, two weeks after this I was "fine" and going out and having a good time.
To the ex this says "what I did to her wasnt that bad, shes fine." It also makes you look cold and emotionless. I think that theres a fine line between letting it get the best of you and having no emotional response to bad break ups... and I dont know where that line is. |
|
|
| kid nyce |
| quote: | Originally posted by lücid
nah... i'm like 75% Wisco, 25% NY. i never felt like i belonged there. i'm too nice!
|
grew up on LI huh? lol jokes |
|
|
|
|
