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Thread worthy shi*t (Are squirrels immortal?)
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| Orbax |
| quote: | Originally posted by Masonious
Why isn't the ground littered with rotting dead squirrel carcasses or at the very least their skeletons? I mean, the little bastards are everywhere, hopping gaily from branch to branch, my back yard is practically swarming with them but I have YET to see a lifeless squirrel fall from a tree.
With the sheer number of squirrels in my backyard I'd expect to have to take a pitchfork to the place every few weeks or so but nary a one has been found.
So why? Why don't I see old decrepit squirrels with long beards and canes spreadeagled beneath my trees?! |
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| Marc Summers |
| I see dead squirrels all the time. I buried one when I was little. Those cute little things love beach plums. |
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| Orbax |
| I only see them in the road |
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| Orbax |
Also, if immortal, is it Highlander rules or Elf rules?
Highlander: Only other highlanders (in this case squirrels) can kill you
Elf: Lived before and will live after humans. So long lived by human standard to be called immortal, but not truly "live forever" |
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| Marc Summers |
| I really want to touch one. They must be soft as . |
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| Xenocreator_PG_ |
| When one dies the little squirrel mobs get together while we are sleeping & light the corpse on fire. Then they dress up in black coats & dance around the flaming corpse, occationally pooping in the fire to cause mini explosions. If you wake up at night to a 'thump' or a 'pop', you probably just woke up to a squirrel poop exploding. |
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| Masonious |
I think I'm going to go with immortal. Basically, the squirrels create android replicas and send them out into the roads. These androids are programmed to stare at your car as it approaches, then they scurry to the side of the road to which they were headed then stop where your left wheel would plaster their head to the ground. If they're not struck, they stare into space with a blank look in their eyes then they run BACK to where they came from, stopping where your right wheel would plaster their head to the ground.
This gives us mere humans the *illusion* that squirrels are indeed mortal, however, my observations allude to a much deeper, much broader issue:
SQUIRRELS. LIVE. FOREVER.
20 years from now as humans are kept in cages and squirrels run the Earth, you'll see S.L.F. in graffito upon the walls of our SO CALLED advanced buildings.
We need to make peace with them now, draft some sort of alliance else I fear the worst for mankind. |
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| ZeJayMan |
| So, I guess the real question here is which is lamer, nailing a fat chick or having a wank?:wtf: |
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| inconspicuous |
| Maybe, when squirrels get old, they're taken up to the mountains in Japan to die. |
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| Orbax |
the only dead squirrel youll ever see |
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