|
Getting married (pg. 11)
|
View this Thread in Original format
| wienerschnitzel |
| quote: | Originally posted by Moral Hazard
Oddly, I am religious and feel the same way with regard to children. |
me too. my mum made me go to church with her every sunday, if i didn't then i was GROUNDED! and i always thought that was total bullocks. |
|
|
| igottaknow |
i think a lot of ppl gravitate to religion because they're seeking: hope and meaning to their lives. they need someone to tell them answers to life's problems. reminds me of all those fad diets and self help books out there.
sorry moral and the rest of you religious ppl out there. just don't like religion |
|
|
| emc^2 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
but she is so ing blind and moronic sounding w/ the catholic bull. it's amazing to me how stupid she sounds despite being really smart. when she starts w/ the jesus talk, i'm just like, "uhh, i gotta go to the store, u need anything" *out the door* lol
|
hahahahaha! That was a conversation last night. I asked my wife to close her eyes and held up some random object and asked her to describe what I am holding. She said (with her eyes closed) - "i don't know". So I told her - it's a piece of paper, open your eyes. And I asked - "do you see that it's a piece of paper" - "yup." so I said "Now, imagine I keep telling you I'm holding a piece of paper and you are saying it's something else, without opening your eyes, and as I'm trying to tell you it's not you - refuse to either believe me or at least open your eyes and see for yourself! you keep saying it's not and just turn around instead of opening your eyes and trying to at least see. Same thing with the way you're going about your professed love for religion and God. I tell you that it's destroying our marriage, impacting our child and our respective families, meanwhile you are keeping your eyes tightly shut and keep on saying - "I don't see how my religious choices are affecting you all"".
| quote: | | she claims she's so religious, but she's always talking abotu ppl and not doing very "christian like" things. i know she's human and she gets caught up in every day bull like we all do, but i mean cut the christian bull propoganda if all u do is sin. she just picks and choses which part of each religion she likes and just listens to what everyone else tells her about religion. |
+1. Funny enough, my half-brother is the one who introduced her to this "virus". Him and his wife cheated on each other for years before they finally realized what's wrong - THEY NEEDED TO FIND GOD. And it wasn't them cheating - it was satan's doing. Yup that's it! Since he introduced this turmoil I told him that I'm cutting off all communications with him and I never want to see him in our house. Our grandparents died in Holocaust for being Jews, our great-grandparents were sent to Gulag to die for protesting demolishion of the synagogue in Stalin's times. Meanwhile, he so easily dismisses his own roots. Not that I care what he believes in, but to come into my house to preach, to convert, even to my 5 year old son???? No way, GFO and never come back. I told him him and his family is dead to me. Meanwhile, his step-daughter (formerly one of the biggest pot/shroom/x/heads) also finds Jesus and starts preaching to me via email, how I can't turn away from the family - yada yada yada.
| quote: |
i keep encouraging her to just do some research and make up her own mind instead of turning to her phony "born again" christian boss. |
In my case she turns to my half-brother and still talks to him, after I warned her and my half-brother with his religious psychotic wife to stop talking for the sake of preserving our marriage. Neither one listens and continues to talk on weekly basis. He still continues to poison her with this BULLSH!T. Oh, funny thing - this is a man who has enough arsenal in his house to start a WW3. "Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition" never rang truer than in his house.
| quote: | | And to make things worse, she gets really irrational if I call her out and we start arguing to the point where I just give up because I don’t want it to escalate so I just change the subject. |
yet again, major +1 - same story here. Impossible. I spent several days (and I mean from 10am - 12am) RESEARCHING various points of argument, from number of different sources - Bible, different testament versions (Matthew, Luke, etc), Torah, etc. Laid it all out and pointed out all the things I was trying to prove... She dismissed it all without even reading and even threw it out in the trash. Quoting directly from writings she supposedly believes in, I hear a counter-argument (one of the best ever): "Well, consider the source!"... umm... what???? Those are YOUR DOCTRINE'S WRITINGS!!! WHAT OTHER SOURCE IS THERE?
pointless...
| quote: | | i ing hate religion and i refuse to make it a part of my child's life. id rather they do some research and studying on their own when they're old enough to realize what it is and then I’ll respect whatever decision they make. |
That was one of our major contention points early on and we agreed that let the child decide when he/she is old enough. Guess what - that agreement is no longer in force. I now have to deal with my kid saying "God this" this and "God that". Not that I have a problem with him being aware but I don't want him turning out to be yet another mindless bible-thumper.
| quote: | | I’m content just being a good person in life and doing my part and not pushing my views on everyone else. |
My point exactly. George Carlin said it best: "THOU SHALL KEEP THOU RELIGION TO THYSELF".
| quote: | | it sucks because i love my mom a lot and we're really close in a lot of aspects but we're also like on different planets most of the time. |
replace "mom" with "wife" and again, this is identical in all aspects. Sad to see so much that we used to have just disintegrate. I'm now depressed most of the time because I feel powerless to change anything. I love my son to death, we have a baby girl on the way and I just can't walk away from them, even if it means I have to grunt and bear it for as long as they are depending on me to be there for them.
So... that's my (hahaha, irony mode fully on) cross to bear. |
|
|
| emc^2 |
| quote: | Originally posted by igottaknow
i think a lot of ppl gravitate to religion because they're seeking: hope and meaning to their lives. they need someone to tell them answers to life's problems. reminds me of all those fad diets and self help books out there.
sorry moral and the rest of you religious ppl out there. just don't like religion |
100000000% agree! That was the case for her. Alas, trying to convince her that she's strong enough on her own to overcome her problems makes absolutely no difference. It's like watching a drug junkie - you can't help them and can't get them off of it until they want to. |
|
|
| Lira |
OMG, this thread got huge :p
I'm at work now, so I'm just going to focus on a minor misunderstanding and I'm posting a proper reply when I get home :)
| quote: | Originally posted by Miss Julia
What do you mean "like"? You're supposed to love her and not be ashamed to admit it if you're even thinking of getting married. |
Why would I be ashamed of admitting I love her? I don't understand why I'd have a life-long commitment with her if I were ashamed of my feelings :conf:
The reason why I didn't say "love" in the original post is because I wanted to avoid most of the confusion concerning the meaning of this word - because this is an international forum, I thought I'd use a more general word (devoid of some sub-concepts people often relate to love, such as "clinging" and "jealousy"). I grew up with a neurotically possessive mother, so I know how it's easy to mess everything up when you're clingy.
I've got a gorgeous girlfriend to whom I've always been loyal and honest, who is my top priority in life, and who makes all other girls look like... erm... panda bears (i.e. even if they're cute, I'm not attractred by them or anything). How would I know whether this translates into your concept of "love"? For simplicity sake, I just decided to choose a broader term, because it makes quite obvious that there's some affection involved.
| quote: | Originally posted by Miss Julia
You're definetely NOT ready to get married. |
Erm... I think it's quite obvious that I'm not going to get married before going to Japan. What I had in mind is that I could save some money while I'm studying there, and that could help us buy all the things a house needs to have.
Heh... |
|
|
| Omega_M |
| quote: | Originally posted by igottaknow
i think a lot of ppl gravitate to religion because they're seeking: hope and meaning to their lives. |
Do you want to believe in a listless life without a reason or purpose ?
| quote: | | they need someone to tell them answers to life's problems. |
Have you figured out the answers yet ? Don't you seek the answers ?
| quote: | | reminds me of all those fad diets and self help books out there. |
fad ? *blink* Religion has been around since the dawn of humanity and is still going pretty strong.
| quote: | | sorry moral and the rest of you religious ppl out there. just don't like religion |
That's a choice you make. At the very least, religion is a source of comfort to people. If accepting a higher authority brings them peace, why do you want to take it away ? What absolute purpose does it serve except for making their lives miserable ? Besides, are you absolutely sure they are deluded and you are not ? Can you prove me, atheism is better than accepting religion ?
Sorry to see you burn in hell :gsmile: |
|
|
| Slylee |
| quote: | | Originally posted by emc^2 |
Damn. Yea it’s not THAT bad, like swearing people out of our lives n , but we definitely have some heated discussions that I just all together avoid now because it’s not worth it. She’s very stubborn and set in her ways. My uncle has a 3 year old and my mom bought him Veggie Tales…it’s jesus kids books and I know that my uncle’s wife is atheist and I told her she had no place giving him that and she ing LOST IT. like, “Well David (uncle) was raised catholic and he should bring god in his life and BLA BLA BLA” she was on the phone with her sisters and mother (a total typical old school catholic from the Bronx…big irish family) so of course they sided with her. lol after that, I was just like this, it’s not worth it. I just keep my mouth shut.
And yea igk ur right. My mom is at a point in her life where she is just searching for something better now. she hates living in a big city and she’s most likely joining the peace corps soon. I mean, god bless her for that and that’s really cool that she wants to help people and serve a purpose, but it’s definitely going to keep us at a major distance and the day I have kids and she starts lecturing me about bringing god into their life, well…I don’t look forward to it. but until then…whatever. She is who she is and she is certainly not changing me. she used to give me guilt trips and try to get me to go to mass with her on xmas and easter. I mean I’ll go just cuz it’s a tradition to go to midnight mass and stuff and it’s kinda fun, but I certainly won’t be converting.
Emc2 I dunno what to tell u. that’s some pretty intense , and I’m not one to give up so easily on relationships and love, but that’s like a no win situation. I would hate to see your kids witness all the arguing and struggling. Those friggin Christians stick together like I’ve never seen before. Lol it’s rude and disrespectful of your brother-in-law to take part in this. it downright pisses me off to hear about that actually. like mind ur own ing business. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I’m very protective of my family and loved ones and my morals and values and if someone was trying to come in between that, well, I can see myself showing them the door until they know how to act in my house too, so props to you for that. |
|
|
| emc^2 |
| quote: | Originally posted by Omega_M
Sorry to see you burn in hell :gsmile: |
Waidaminute... i thought God loves me???? So, let me get this straight. I live a more or less "decent" life - treat others kindly, help those in need, being a good father, son, etc. heck, even paying my taxes before they are due... and you're telling me I'm destined to burn in hell, right next to the likes of those like Bush, Hitler, Dahlmer, etc - simply for being... not fully devoted? Or is there a hell that's still hot but not quite as balmy as the one reserved for extra wicked? You know - As late Jerry Falwell would describe "the sausage smoking buggery fiends", the kind that like Lolis or mass-murdering deviants? I'm curious. Is there a guest list to Club Heaven? Oh... I gotta be on JC's list? No general admission? Awww... shucks.
You know what I believe in? Ultimately we all will rot in graves. The end. Purpose served. There's no afterlife, no carrot on the stick, no sweet reward, no 72 virgins, no eternal happiness, nothing of that sort. Just whatever you accomplish here is what stays behind. No ultimate justice, no judgement day. You live, you die, hopefully leaving something behind worth remembering you by or at least someone worthy of breathing the air here.
Sorry to shatter your pink, romantic view of the world but your carcas is all mass. The only energy I believe in is the kind that zaps me when I wear staticky clothes or forget to disconnect electricity at the breaker - you know, the kind most of us have to pay for in a form of a monthly bill.
Hate to disapoint you there chief. But hey, if it floats your boat, fills your sail, keeps you going - MORE POWA FOR YA!
peace be onto you. |
|
|
| Fast Turtle |
| It'll be interesting to see what happens with all of our generation in the next 10 or so years, as we start to get married, divorced, have families. We're a pretty experimental generation as far as pharmaceuticals go, with all the antidepressants, ADHD medications, and drugs like MDMA. Not only that, but we're becoming well aware that by the time we're old, people will be living into their 100s. |
|
|
| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by Omega_M
|
hey I'm going to run out to the grocery store  (pulls a jamie) |
|
|
| Slylee |
| Ironically, if I ever decide to take part in a religion, it would most likely be Judaism lol |
|
|
| Fast Turtle |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
Ironically, if I ever decide to take part in a religion, it would most likely be Judaism lol |
I'm zen buddhist to an end... hmm... |
|
|
|
|
