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what would YOU do...need some serious advice (pg. 4)
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| Vivid Boy |
you can only be you. if your heart says come clean to this guy and tell him the truth then do just that.
tho this story sounds a little fishy. i dont know why the family would have came to you so quickly... |
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| Porky |
| quote: | Originally posted by Irishaddict
Desperate times call for desperate measures. |
Desperate times demand integrity and responsibility. not desperate measures such as lying. his mom is basically somewhat spineless.
if i was his parents i'd do the same, call the cops, but i would also take full responsibility for doing so, instead of trying to blame some friend of his. |
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| Vivid Boy |
| oh one more thing, just a question. How much do you tip after something like that? |
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| Shade |
If you must confront someone, at the worst, confront the family (guilt trip etc), not him directly, and give them time for that too.
This isn't about you, it's about helping him get stable. If he can't trust his family (more than one person), he won't trust the world.
If it's one person he can't trust, and that person happens to be you... it sucks, but he's better off for it. |
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| Yohan |
Michael, was your restaurant open at this time? Any patrons?
Cops busting into your restaurant does no good for your PR |
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| slingshot |
reading between the lines would tell me that the family might be a bit crazy and may have even contributed significantly to these problems in the first place....
there is usually a high level of consistency in the way in which people handle/deal with things throughout the course of their life.
tough situation....you probably know the family and the individual a lot better and i'm sure there is more to the story that is impossible to convey with what you've written....I would maybe attempt to talk to the family first and than base my reaction on my judgment of what they've told me. there is ALWAYS more to the story than what meets the eye....if it's something that really bothers you that you feel you need to "right" or come to some sort of peace of mind....dig a bit deeper into the situation....albeit as politely and non-intrusively as you can. |
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| Ania_xox |
| quote: | Originally posted by Irishaddict
Lol, everyone is so bloody jaded. All I'm asking is that you look beyond your immediate self in this situation. |
I'm totally with Laura
If (hopefully when) things get cleared up and he returns to a relatively healthy mental state THEN let him know.
His family sounds so selfish and useless in this situation... but I'm such a firm believer that NO ONE but the members of a family can ever understand its interior dynamics... if they think this was necessary, then it probably was.
It's a hard thing to do... but I definitely think that you need to let him trust his family right now and bite your tongue for a while. Telling him the truth will help no one but you. And to me you sound pretty mentally stable... do the unselfish thing darlin.
The truth can come out later on down the road, when he can handle it. |
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| Porky |
| quote: | Originally posted by Irishaddict
Even if they were perfectly honest with him it would serve no purpose as the issues are internalized in him. He needs the help first, worry about picking up the pieces when at least everyone is back on the same (mental) playing field. |
His mother should set an example. Being perfectly honest with her son would be a great start. Maybe there's a reason why her son did drugs in the first place, b/c his mother is not the epitome of integrity. |
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| evil_cookie |
Thank you for the feedback guys, much appreciated.
Irishaddict: I agree with you on everything you have said, but I don’t think my interests in this case are purely self-interested. By that I mean, after talking to the parents, they made it absolutely one hundred percent clear that they will never consider telling the truth. This bother me a little yes, but not as much as the fact that they are in the process of trying to keep him in prison as long as they can, cause they think rehab is a waste of time and he needs to be isolated from the public. Not only that, they want to force immediate medicinal drugs on him. Granted my familiarity with schizophrenia is limited, but I do not like the idea of the parents playing puppet master here, pulling the strings behind the curtains while others take the responsibility - and responsibility not just in the sense of “justice”, but in the sense that god forbid something worse happened to him, and I didn’t say a word...
seriously that would stay with me.
I don't need FUTURE burdens on me, I can turn the other cheek here, but this family has proven to be incompetent, and it's almost inevitable that the situation will escalade and I’ll remain speechless… |
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| Vivid Boy |
| if it were my parents theyd be right in there with the cops throwing knees and punches knocking stability back into me. billy clubs, mace, K-9 unit and all. my parents would be getting arressted with me yelling "ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!!" as theyre gettin throwin into a cop car. |
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| Invasionmix |
| quote: | Originally posted by Yohan
Michael, was your restaurant open at this time? Any patrons?
Cops busting into your restaurant does no good for your PR |
It actually makes me wanna go to the restaurant :P What kind of food it is?
(sorry a bit off topic) :S |
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| Yohan |
| quote: | Originally posted by evil_cookie
Thank you for the feedback guys, much appreciated.
Irishaddict: I agree with you on everything you have said, but I don’t think my interests in this case are purely self-interested. By that I mean, after talking to the parents, they made it absolutely one hundred percent clear that they will never consider telling the truth. This bother me a little yes, but not as much as the fact that they are in the process of trying to keep him in prison as long as they can, cause they think rehab is a waste of time and he needs to be isolated from the public. Not only that, they want to force immediate medicinal drugs on him. Granted my familiarity with schizophrenia is limited, but I do not like the idea of the parents playing puppet master here, pulling the strings behind the curtains while others take the responsibility - and responsibility not just in the sense of “justice”, but in the sense that god forbid something worse happened to him, and I didn’t say a word...
seriously that would stay with me. |
what a bunch of dishonourable s |
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