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FAO: People who are married or have been married (pg. 3)
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| Zewad |
| quote: | Originally posted by Sushipunk
If you don't mind me asking Zewad, how much does the army pay you to go to Iraq for a year? |
they pay the regular base pay... but since i'll be leaving from tampa they'll pay BAH (basic allowance for housing) for the tampa market for an O-3 (captain w/ dependent, ie wife) and no taxes while there and also pay hazard pay and safe pay...
full sum up to $80k+...
btw.. i make 10/hr + commission and wife makes 12/hr now.. and neither of us are on full time
big pay jump...:) hence why iraq isnt so bad... and i'm pretty sure i'll be some staff job nut who will sit at a desk the whole year.. |
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| pvc |
| Please explain what "work" means. Married ppl always say that but it doesn't have meaning to me , because relationships should be a natural act, work seems to imply doing something that you don't like or to because you have to. Sometimes I'll visit family or a friend that has a nice kid and I think that would be nice or I want to find someone who makes me happy or have companionship that takes me away from stupid banality of life. I don't know maybe I'm a dreamer. I'm a poor judge of couples happiness. Often they look happy on the outside and then you find out the real story. |
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| Sushipunk |
| quote: | Originally posted by Zewad
they pay me the regular base pay... but since i'll be leaving from tampa they'll pay BAH (basic allowance for housing) for the tampa market for an O-3 (captain w/ dependent, ie wife) and no taxes while there and also pay hazard pay and safe pay...
full sum up to $80k+... i only reveal this b/c you can do a search online that would take 2 seconds and find my pay...
i love that about the military... we can all discuss our pay wide open b/c we can all calculate each others pay to the penny... so finincial advice runs rampant...
btw.. i make 10/hr + commission and wife makes 12/hr now.. and neither of us are on full time
big pay jump...:) hence why iraq isnt so bad... and i'm pretty sure i'll be some staff job nut who will sit at a desk the whole year.. |
Damn, that's definitely a big jump from $10 and hour alright.
Shame it's not in a nicer place, but as long as you're relatively safe over there, 80k would be nice. |
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| Slylee |
| those of you who say that relationships and marriage in general should require no work are fooling themselves lol |
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| Intuition |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
those of you who say that relationships and marriage in general should require no work are fooling themselves lol |
+1. I actually see it in entirely the opposite way, that one should rather be willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of their spouse. Not in a needy, pushover kinda way, but in an interdependent, collaboration kinda way. Hopefully, I'll live to tell about it one day. |
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| Slylee |
| i think it's that people are confused as to which kind of work marriage/relationships take. no, it shouldn't take work to enjoy being around your spouse, or to enjoy making love to them, or to enjoy superficial things like that...but it takes work to pay bills together and be responsible together and be on the same page re: parenting, etc... |
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| AnomalyConcept |
| quote: | Originally posted by Slylee
it shouldn't take work to enjoy being around your spouse, or to enjoy making love to them, or to enjoy superficial things like that... |
You shouldn't have to try at all to enjoy being around your spouse. There are people who marry for what I think are the wrong reasons. Sure, there are certain benefits that can be gained, but you should know what you're getting yourself into. Even if it's well intentioned, sometimes people rush into marriage. I just graduated from college, and several of my friends and acquaintances are already married. Some have been together since high school, and some only for a few months (only marrying after college). I wish them the best of luck, but for some I can't be too hopeful.
In any case, I think in marriage both parties need to willing to acknowledge their flaws and make corrections, if necessary. I know it sounds simple, but if this were practiced more, I feel like less marriages would end in divorce. |
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| Slylee |
| quote: | Originally posted by AnomalyConcept
There are people who marry for what I think are the wrong reasons. |
lol u mean like more than half of the american population? |
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| AnomalyConcept |
Pretty much.
Citizenship/papers/immigration, money (obtained on divorce), winning a game show, getting pregnant, etc. Then there are those that marry the first person that says 'yes'.
I think in the US, there isn't an expectation of marriages lasting very long, and so people are more inclined to get a divorce rather than to try to work things out. You're making a commitment, right? Should try to stick to that. Too bad a lot of Americans are lazy. |
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| NeoPhono |
Marriage is similar to just about any long-term relationship. There are high points and low points and everywhere in the middle. There is no such thing as a "perfect" marriage, just as there isn't a such thing as a "perfect" relationship. Marriage can be more difficult than other relationships, simply because you're with each other all the time, and that makes it that much more easy to find things to get pissed off about.
If you're looking at marriage, I'd say; 1 - realize there will be rocky times. 2 - have the balls and a healthy enough ego to be able to apologize even if you feel you're not at fault, hopefully your partner will be the same. 3 - deal with situations as they happen. If you wait and hope they fix themselves, they usually won't and it's a lot harder to deal with a situation that's been going on for months or years than one that's only just started happening.
Also, marriage is not the "next step," in a relationship, it's the "final step." I think a lot of people now look at marriage as something beyond serious dating so when things start to look ugly, just like dating, they simply end the relationship instead of working through it. Don't jump in until your ready, but I guarantee that no matter how ready you feel, you'll still have times when you second guess yourself. That's normal though and doesn't mean your marriage is going to hell. |
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| Omega_M |
| quote: | Originally posted by Zewad
full sum up to $80k+... |
Gawd Dayam, that's a lot of money. Not to mention you don't get taxed. |
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| idoru |
| quote: | Originally posted by Chris Crossland
I have NEVER heard of a good marriage. Every one i know that is married bitches.
Not to menchion my parents got divorced, my mom remarried, got divorced again. Now my dad is getting remarried.
that jazz.
It's not worth it. |
My parents married in their early twenties and are now 45. I've never seen them argue and I was born just a few years after they got married. Ever. They've never raised their voices, they've never thrown things, slammed doors, stormed out of the house, etc.
I was so accustomed to them being so fantastic with their marriage that when they spent thirty minutes disagreeing on plans for a trip when I was ten, I freaked the out and thought they were getting a divorce. :wtf:
I know countless others who have never divorced, but have had their squabbles. |
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