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Dj Groupies (pg. 13)
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| exstasie |
I touched Blanks bum on Saturday....
OH BabY!
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| jchung52 |
| quote: | Originally posted by exstasie
I touched Blanks bum on Saturday....
OH BabY!
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| MissK |
| Kevin Harcourt made me do it :toothless :p :crazy: |
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| Knox |
:stongue: @ "dropped pie"
DJ groupies - there's one in every clubbing family. Or there would be, if groupies belonged to families. Sadly, part of the job-description of being a groupie is to be oblivious to everyone except the object of groupieness, which renders the groupie pretty much family-less.
If you're the unfortunate friend of a groupie, you may have discovered that you seem to dematerialise whenever there's a DJ around. When there's not, you may be subject to hours of end-to-end DJ name-dropping as the groupie goes on and on, detailing at great length every single instance the DJ/s in question spoke/looked/breathed in her direction. And let's face it, it's usually a her. Sure, guys make good stalkers, but when it comes to DJ groupies, the fact that most DJs are guys would determine that most groupies are girls.
While groupies have been a part of show-biz since forever, this latest evolutionary form of the groupie is in many ways far worse than pop or rock groupies. For starters, the DJ is, really, only appropriating someone else's music and, yes, while that is an 'art form' in itself, ahem, it's not exactly the same as being, say, Jim Morrison, or some similarly self-destructive bad-ass rock god with long hair and tight leather pants.
Secondly, DJs are very, very rarely as good-looking as pop stars and rock gods - they don't sing, dance, have a mic stand to rub against, serenade girls in the audience, star in music clips or even venture out in front of the turntables, so, really, a DJ groupie is basically idolising someone who a) doesn't play their own music and b) is not exactly killing us in the looks department.
Perhaps the saddest thing about the DJ groupie is that they think they're hotter than molten lava in a heatwave. While they do usually have to fulfil some degree of physical criteria to be tolerated by DJ & co, this is usually limited to being of slim(-ish) build. While some of the more self-respecting DJs do have standards (models/actresses/heiresses only, thank you), many, sadly, will succumb to the ego-fluffing of a groupie if she's of regular proportions and wears scant cladding, even if her face does resemble a dropped pie. Which may or may not be a reflection of how attractive they perceive themselves to be.
To add even more misfortune to the whole scenario, the DJ groupie is one of the most visible groupies in existence. Their desperate plight and its incumbent follies are on show for the whole clubbing community to see. They put themselves right out there: they dance in the DJ booth, hang out with the DJ after the club has closed, light the DJ's cigarettes, flit around with his bags/records, follow him around the room like a shadow, attend every one of his gigs like dance is going out of style and when one DJ gives them the flick, they're right up there, dancing away behind the next one.
So, what to do if you know a groupie. Well, it's probably too late for her, but it's not too late for you. If you find yourself getting sucked into your friend's seeming razzle-dazzle of complimentary drink cards, guest lists, VIP lanyards (oh, the glamour!), free drugs, and 7am booty calls, do yourself a favour: take five steps backwards. If you continue into groupiedom, the best anyone will feel for you is pity, and at worst, you'll end up with pallid skin, facial herpes, no friends and a bit part in a film like the one above. Ask yourself: do you really want a bad porno named after you?
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| teufel-man |
| quote: | Originally posted by Knox
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That post hit the nail on the head! |
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| MissK |
| quote: | Originally posted by Knox
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OMG ING GOLD
:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha::haha::haha: |
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| StereoPrincess |
| quote: | Originally posted by MissK
Kevin Harcourt made me do it :toothless :p :crazy: |
lol.
i am a harcourt groupie. |
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| Jem_hadar |
| quote: |
incumbent follies
razzle-dazzle |
:haha: :haha:
| quote: | | Perhaps the saddest thing about the DJ groupie is that they think they're hotter than molten lava in a heatwave. |
LOL!! :stongue: :stongue: :stongue:
Brilliant piece. Absolutely loved it. Hilariously written. |
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| kaniz |
Ok, so if most DJ groupies are ugly, and most DJs are ugly - ugly people get ugly groupies?
Poor Holden ... the kid just didnt get dealt a good hand in the looks department now did he? |
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| teufel-man |
| quote: | Originally posted by kaniz
Ok, so if most DJ groupies are ugly, and most DJs are ugly - ugly people get ugly groupies?
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Most DJ groupies are 'good from far but far from good'. I.e. if you saw them from 50 feet away they would look good with their slim body, died hair, slutty outfit.... but when you get up close you can then see that their face actually looks like a 'dropped pie' |
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| Knox |
I will never look at a pie the same way again....because its oh so true!!:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: |
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