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Friendonomics
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| Irishaddict |
| quote: | Hey, want to be my friend? It's more than possible; it's probable. Hell, we may already be friends—I haven't checked my email in a few minutes. And once we are, we will be, as they say, 4-eva. A perusal of my Facebook Friend roster reveals that I, a medium-social individual of only middling lifetime popularity, have never lost a friend. They're all there: elementary school friends, high school friends, college friends, work friends, friends of friends, friends of ex-girlfriends—the constellation of familiar faces crowds my Friendbox like medals on Mussolini's chest. I'm Friend-rich—at least onscreen. I've never lost touch with anyone, it seems. What I've lost is the right to lose touch. This says less about my innate lovability, I think, than about the current inflated state of Friendonomics.
Think of it as the Long Tail of Friendship—in the age of queue-able social priorities, Twitter-able status updates, and amaranthine cloud memory, keeping friends requires almost no effort at all. We have achieved Infinite Friendspace, which means we need never drift from old pals nor feel the poignant tug of passive friend-loss. It also means that even the flimsiest of attachments—the chance convention buddy, the cube-mate from the '90s, the bar-napkin hookup—will be preserved, in perpetuity, under the flattering, flattening banner of "Friend." (Sure, you can rank and categorize them to your heart's content, but who'd be callous enough to actually categorize a hookup under "Hookup"?)
It has been argued that this Infinite Friendspace is an unalloyed good. But while this plays nicely into our sentimental ideal of lifelong friendship, it's having at least three catastrophic effects. First, it encourages hoarding. We squirrel away Friends the way our grandparents used to save nickels—obsessively, desperately, as if we'll run out of them some day. (Of course, they lived through the Depression. And we lived through—what, exactly? Middle school? 90210? The Electric Slide?) Humans are natural pack rats, and given the chance we'll stockpile anything of nominal value. Friends are the currency of the socially networked world; therefore, it follows that more equals better. But the more Friends you have, the less they're worth—and, more to the point, the less human they are. People become mere collectibles, like Garbage Pail Kids. And call me a buzz kill, but I don't want to be anyone's Potty Scotty.
Second, Friending has subsumed the ol' Rolodex. Granted, it's often convenient to have all of your contacts under one roof. But the great thing about the Rolodex was that it never talked back, it didn't throw virtual octopi or make you take movie quizzes, and it never, ever poked you. The Rolodex just sat there. It was all business.
Third, and most grave, we've lost our right to lose touch. "A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of Nature," Emerson wrote, not bothering to add, "and like most things natural, friendship is biodegradable." We scrawl "Friends Forever" in yearbooks, but we quietly realize, with relief, that some bonds are meant to be shed, like snakeskin or a Showtime subscription. It's nature's way of allowing you to change, adapt, evolve, or devolve as you wish—and freeing you from the exhaustion of multifront friend maintenance. Fine, you can "Remove Friend," but what kind of actually does that? Deletion is scary—and, we're told, unnecessary in the Petabyte Age. That's what made good old-fashioned losing touch so wonderful—friendships, like long-forgotten photos and mixtapes, would distort and slowly whistle into oblivion, quite naturally, nothing personal. It was sweet and sad and, though you'd rarely admit it, necessary.
And maybe that's the answer: A Facebook app we'll call the Fade Utility. Untended Friends would gradually display a sepia cast on the picture, a blurring of the neglected profile—perhaps a coffee stain might appear on it or an unrelated phone number or grocery list. The individual's status updates might fade and get smaller. The user may then choose to notice and reach out to the person in some meaningful way—no pokes! Or they might pretend not to notice. Without making a choice, they could simply let that person go. Would that really be so awful?
I realize that I may lose a few Friends by saying this. I invite them to remove me. Though I think they'll find it harder than they imagine. I've never lost a Friend, you see, and I'm starting to worry I never will. |
source
went on a purge last week and it felt so good - i guess i'm an
thoughts? |
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| *~LiSa-LoO~* |
| Can I be your friend? |
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| Silky Johnson |
| I don't think it's an move to be honest about stuff like that. It's unrealistic to think you can maintain real friendships with more than a handful or two of people. If anything, it's more ish to continue on in superficial relationships with people who you really don't give more than 2 s about...I find there's something really patronizing about that. But that's just me. I don't like to waste people's time. |
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| Yohan |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
I don't think it's an move to be honest about stuff like that. It's unrealistic to think you can maintain real friendships with more than a handful or two of people. If anything, it's more ish to continue on in superficial relationships with people who you really don't give more than 2 s about...I find there's something really patronizing about that. But that's just me. I don't like to waste people's time. |
wench, you waste my time by merely existing
choke yourself. NOW!!!
(I <3 you too) :p |
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| El K Dee |
| i did a cleanup of my FB a few months ago..deleted around 60 something people that added me who knew me back in high school but they JUST ADDED ME...didnt say hi, nothing...and when i moved away from the country, they didnt stay in touch despite email and msn being available...i dont think i need to add to someones friend count nor do i care what my count on a community is.... |
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| Silky Johnson |
Whoa hey, save that kinda talk for after 9pm, Yohan.  |
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| Yohan |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
Whoa hey, save that kinda talk for after 9pm, Yohan. |
yes ma'am :( |
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| Nobbie Q |
I think it's true, but it extends out to many other things too. Like I get some old high school friends that I run into like once a year ask for my cell number, but I never hear from them. But I guess I'm guilty of the same thing too.
Facebook is supposed to bring ppl closer but I think it drives them further apart. That's when of the reasons I didn't want to initially join Facebook, but then I got trapped into it. I do like the ability to share pics with my actual friends. But Facebook also gives an oppurtunity to be friendly with ppl but in a limited way (via pokes, some random wall message, a message). It's rather convenient for them to interact with me without getting too personal...these ppl can't be my real friends. Why bother adding me at all? so you can snoop around my albums and groups? I don't also want to be anyone's "Scotty Potty" either lol. |
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| Djsketchbag |
| quote: | Originally posted by jennypie
I don't think it's an move to be honest about stuff like that. It's unrealistic to think you can maintain real friendships with more than a handful or two of people. If anything, it's more ish to continue on in superficial relationships with people who you really don't give more than 2 s about...I find there's something really patronizing about that. But that's just me. I don't like to waste people's time. |
I totaly agree.... I hate fake ppl |
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| Engine9 |
friends is just what facebook calls the people you know
they can be called acquaintances or something |
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| VERTiG0 |
I couldn't be arsed to waste more time on Facebook than I already do. That said...
FYI Laura I have a plate of yours from like 2 years ago. Its description is as follows:
- Green
- Round
- Approximately 22 centimetres in diameter (no, I didn't measure it)
- Ceramic
- Once housed parts of a birthday cake
Just so you know! |
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| StereoPrincess |
| you can't honestly be taking facebook so seriously. it doesn't make a difference to me if i have too many people to keep in touch with on there. it's not a way i measure how many friends i have. it's a glorified email contact system with photos. why wouldn't you want to have people's email address? i want to be in touch with the people from high school because that is the way we will make a great reunion for our school one day. it's not like i put my entire life on facebook so i don't really care if other people see it (granted i have to find them, they won't find me). not only that but you really never heard of networking? it's a way to find jobs and even information of where to eat tonight. |
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