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I don't like my ex dating my brother. (pg. 5)
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by noikeee
I'm pretty ing reluctant on it because of bro code, lol. |
Look,
There's a reason why your friend and his ex are not seeing one another any more: it didn't work. It's over, já era. She's not his property, she's an independent human being old enough to make her own choices as she wishes. And, so are you.
If he's really your friend he should either be happy for your new relationship, hoping you're more successful than he was with her or, if she's nothing but trouble, he should be concerned for your well-being (and tell you why).
Suppose an ex of yours had a really hot friend interested on you: Wouldn't you be rather irate to find out the sole reason why she doesn't go out with you - despite the mutual attraction - is because of a failed relationship already buried in the past? This whole thing reeks of insecurity and unjustified jealousy. |
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| R.j. |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
já era. |
What does that translate to? And from what language? :o |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by R.j.
What does that translate to? And from what language? :o |
"It already was" (meaning: "It's not relevant any more/it's already passed/too late"), and it comes from Portuguese. |
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| Rose |
| Lira doesn't get it because he's probably never been in that situation or atleast a similar one. Just give up Lira. |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by Rose
Lira doesn't get it because he's probably never been in that situation or atleast a similar one. Just give up Lira. |
Wrong guess, Rose: I've been in similar situations, on both ends (both as the friend AND the dater). |
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| Rose |
| Well then, you still don't understand 'bro code'. |
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| R.j. |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
"It already was" (meaning: "It's not relevant any more/it's already passed/too late"), and it comes from Portuguese. |
Fait accompli? |
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| noikeee |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
Look,
There's a reason why your friend and his ex are not seeing one another any more: it didn't work. It's over, já era. She's not his property, she's an independent human being old enough to make her own choices as she wishes. And, so are you.
If he's really your friend he should either be happy for your new relationship, hoping you're more successful than he was with her or, if she's nothing but trouble, he should be concerned for your well-being (and tell you why).
Suppose an ex of yours had a really hot friend interested on you: Wouldn't you be rather irate to find out the sole reason why she doesn't go out with you - despite the mutual attraction - is because of a failed relationship already buried in the past? This whole thing reeks of insecurity and unjustified jealousy. |
You don't understand how it works for most people. If you had feelings for someone, it might disappear completely one day, but chances are you still remember some of it. Therefore it's annoying to be around your ex. It's bad enough to see an ex ing an unknown, nevermind someone you see every day. It's like being tempted every day to get something you can't get. Maybe you're a robot and you don't get that kind of temptation, so you don't understand it, but most people are a lot more possessive.
In my particular case, my "bro" has meanwhile moved to another island, which might even be worse - people around would start drama of the kind "he's only hitting on her because her ex is away".
And obviously she isn't at all secure about it, as she's been avoiding our whole group of friends ever since they broke up 2 years ago. It's just that when I see her, I always get the feeling that things could actually work out between us, which is pretty ing rare for a lame ass like me. Gah. :\ |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by noikeee
You don't understand how it works for most people. If you had feelings for someone, it might disappear completely one day, but chances are you still remember some of it. Therefore it's annoying to be around your ex. It's bad enough to see an ex ing an unknown, nevermind someone you see every day. It's like being tempted every day to get something you can't get. Maybe you're a robot and you don't get that kind of temptation, so you don't understand it, but most people are a lot more possessive. |
If someone's possessive, that's their problem. Here, let me pose you a question: You meet this attractive girl, and a friend of yours tells you he fancies her. She, however, isn't attracted to him, whereas she's head over heels about you. Would you refrain from asking her out simply because a friend that has no rights over her whatsoever has declared she's to be with him if she's to be with anyone he knows?
Are you really going to waste a golden opportunity because someone else has a problem with rejection? Wouldn't you agree that the wisest thing to say is to simply tell the person to move on instead of being stuck in a relationship that is just not going to happen?
Now, suppose this friend had an affair with the said girl. Wouldn't you rather see him move on and be happy, instead of obsessing over a girl that has apparently no interest in him?
| quote: | Originally posted by noikeee
In my particular case, my "bro" has meanwhile moved to another island, which might even be worse - people around would start drama of the kind "he's only hitting on her because her ex is away". |
So...? Why should you care about anyone other than the girl?
| quote: | Originally posted by noikeee
And obviously she isn't at all secure about it, as she's been avoiding our whole group of friends ever since they broke up 2 years ago. It's just that when I see her, I always get the feeling that things could actually work out between us, which is pretty ing rare for a lame ass like me. Gah. :\ |
All right, let me see if I get it: You met someone you're attracted to, and that can have a meaningful relationship with you in the near future, yet you'd rather just remain miserable about the whole thing because someone who isn't even around any more may object to your happiness?
Yeah, I'm a robot. |
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| DjWhooCares |
best thing u can do is find another chick...
the more you let it bug u, the longer its going to take for u to get over it..
im sure thats been said already but i dont feel like reading everything in this thread :P
i had an x date one of my best friends once...
bugged the hell out of me...
meh ull figure it out :)
dont stay home! haha
if all else fail...
hammer to the face |
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| lenazi |
| quote: | Originally posted by Lira
If someone's possessive, that's their problem. Here, let me pose you a question: You meet this attractive girl, and a friend of yours tells you he fancies her. She, however, isn't attracted to him, whereas she's head over heels about you. Would you refrain from asking her out simply because a friend that has no rights over her whatsoever has declared she's to be with him if she's to be with anyone he knows?
Are you really going to waste a golden opportunity because someone else has a problem with rejection? Wouldn't you agree that the wisest thing to say is to simply tell the person to move on instead of being stuck in a relationship that is just not going to happen?
Now, suppose this friend had an affair with the said girl. Wouldn't you rather see him move on and be happy, instead of obsessing over a girl that has apparently no interest in him?
So...? Why should you care about anyone other than the girl?
All right, let me see if I get it: You met someone you're attracted to, and that can have a meaningful relationship with you in the near future, yet you'd rather just remain miserable about the whole thing because someone who isn't even around any more may object to your happiness?
Yeah, I'm a robot. |
and if it doesn't work out he can be out of a girl and a friend (and possibly some teeth).
if he plays it safe, good friends can last a long time and be invaluable. Women you might be interested in are a dime a dozen and much more easily found than a friend you can trust with your life. |
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| Rose |
| quote: | Originally posted by DjWhooCares
i had an x date one of my best friends once...
bugged the hell out of me...
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+1 and she didn't care that it bothered me or whatever and they ended up having a ty relationship and after they broke up she came back and apologized a million times lol. |
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