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Are birds of a feather better off flocking together, or are they missing out?
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| Lira |
"The surest way to corrupt a
youth is to instruct him to
hold in higher esteem those
who think alike than those who
think differently."
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Though Fred is not exactly my favourite author (far from it), this quote from the Dawn has always resonated with some of my most deeply ingrained beliefs.
It's probably due my unorthodox views that I got my annoying penchant for making (sometimes rather pointless) inquiries, as I couldn't understand those around me. I soon learned not everyone appreciates debates, since I was (perhaps deservedly) expelled from a Catholic elementary school because I'd often reply to the nuns' teachings with naïve questions and, when they'd fail to come up with an explanation, humorous rejoinders — though I piped down when, according to a couple of friends, the alpha nun told them God wouldn't send me to hell because she asked him not to do that. Unbeknownst to me, the nuns were haggling over the punishments I'd suffer in my afterlife, in a rather kafkaesque move. I didn't even know I had done something wrong! The nuns then let me studied at home for a couple of months so I could try my luck in a more open-minded school (namely, the local military school :p) and leave them for good. Which I did.
Since then, I've been more tolerant to people whose world views differed from mine and tried not to offend them (much to PKC's dismay), as I realised that'd be the only way I could get to know them better, and it offered me countless invaluable insights. As an old-school TA once put it, he and his then fiancé were like the opposite blades of a propeller: they complemented each other through their differences. I thought most relationships were like that.
I felt the same way in middle and high school (regarding my friends), as it took me nearly a decade to find heathens that liked the music I liked and even shared my fashion sense (or lack thereof), and even more time to join my very own clique. Back then I could easily make friends, share meals and jokes — to such and extent that I even became a popular guy in my school editing the local newspaper (though I'd often be even more popular because of my quirks) — but in the end of the day I'd eventually retreat to a corner and drown my angst out with pounding techno music. Don't all teenagers do that anyway?
But, as I grew older, I came to realise that most individuals apparently do spend their time with like-minded people: That's why there are book clubs, internet forums (duh!), churches, and anime conventions where I won't dare to enter again without an aiding anthropologist. I even befriended a bunch of childish hyperactive nutters who practise the same hobbies I love. Most of my favourite authors now have opinions much like the ones I'd tend to hold anyway, thus reinforcing my Weltanschauung rather than showing contrary opinions. And so on.
Therefore, I was led to the inevitable question: Have I been missing out all these years, or was I blessed to have spent so much time with people unlike me? Would you rather spend more time with people like you or with people that can contribute with a different way of seeing things? In what situations would you rather be with someone like you?
Incidentally, the TA I mentioned is now divorced, or so I heard. |
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| Kismet7 |
Some regulars here seem to hate on people who are different from them, ******** as an example.
I'd get bored amongst people just like me. There is not much to learn from people just like me, in comparison to what I can learn or experience through people who are different. I guess i'm attracted to dynamics, changes, differences, contrasts.
ps: interested in the outcome of this thread. |
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| pkcRAISTLIN |
| quote: | Originally posted by Kismet7
Some regulars here seem to hate on people who are different from them, ******** as an example. |
people dont hate on william because he's different, they hate because he's an idiot (and an arrogant one at that). |
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| woscar |
| Just read your post, Lira (interesting and stimulating as usual) and I have some comments of my own to make. However, it's midnight and I'm ing exhausted so I'll take a crack at it tomorrow morning (or actually, later today). :p |
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| Arbiter |
| The vast majority of mutations are ultimately deleterious, but those that aren't make it all worthwhile. |
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| Kismet7 |
| quote: | Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
people dont hate on william because he's different, they hate because he's an idiot (and an arrogant one at that). |
Subjectively, he seems as intelligent as anyone here if not more. You think he is an idiot probably because he has different beliefs than you, or because of his rhetoric, or the way he articulates himself.
For this thread to work, you guys will define what the similar feather is and the different feathered bird. Are the feathers based on beliefs, tastes, opinions, backgrounds, ethics, morals, interests...etc. |
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| pkcRAISTLIN |
| quote: | Originally posted by Kismet7
Subjectively, he seems as intelligent as anyone here if not more. You think he is an idiot probably because he has different beliefs than you, or because of his rhetoric, or the way he articulates himself. |
no, i think he's an idiot because he illustrates profound ignorance in topics he considers himself quite learned in and refuses to admit to factual errors he makes on a regular basis. he never takes the opportunity to learn something when a fellow TA corrects him, he just makes excuses and dribbles . |
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| Kismet7 |
| quote: | Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN
no, i think he's an idiot because he illustrates profound ignorance in topics he considers himself quite learned in and refuses to admit to factual errors he makes on a regular basis. he never takes the opportunity to learn something when a fellow TA corrects him, he just makes excuses and dribbles . |
NM...I aint gonna get anything straight out of you lol. I think i'll just use my energy elsewhere for a bit, maybe come back another time. Fun and enlightening while it lasted. :)
Back to a lurk here and there. |
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| Fledz |
PKC is right. You can't claim you're intelligent and blame others for constantly misunderstanding you.
@Lira - Socially I want people like me as good friends, unlike me for random fun, and romantically I'm not sure but most likely closer to what I'm like than not. |
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| Spam |
| quote: | Originally posted by Kismet7
NM...I aint gonna get anything straight out of you lol. I think i'll just use my energy elsewhere for a bit, maybe come back another time. Fun and enlightening while it lasted. :)
Back to a lurk here and there. |
You just got owned PKC. |
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| Fledz |
| quote: | Originally posted by Spam
You just got owned PKC. |
You clearly don't understand the definition of owned :rolleyes: |
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| woscar |
If you're with people that think the same way as you all the time, you are definitely missing out on some aspects of human learning and understanding because you rarely get to hear a different point of view on specific subjects. This comes to be even more evident for me, when debating.
I love to talk about subjects that are considered controversial or "taboo" like religion, abortion, suicide, politics, etc. and I generally learn a lot more from people that have an opposing point of view. That is to say, when their point of view is an educated one rather than an indoctrinated one. Of course, there's also a lot of learning to be had from the latter type like how stubborn and irrational a person can be. I find it quite interesting that you don't even have to find the tiniest little shred of validity to an opposing point of view, in order to learn from it.
However, I also find great joy in interacting with people that have the same world views as mine. I think you know what I mean, Marcus, when I say that there's a little mind-gasm to be had whenever you discuss things like "why Pascal's wager is flawed" or "Nietzschean philosophy" with someone who actually knows what you're talking about. One recent example, was a conversation I had with someone from work who has become one of my best friends over the past years in which I found out that he is an atheist like me. It opened up a whole box of things and experiences that we can now share and discuss.
What I'm getting at, is that there's a balance to be found. You can miss out on a lot, either way. |
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