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Bathroom Etiquette 101 (pg. 2)
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| Lunar Phase 7 |
I knew a dude who used to call it 2pm s.
He would waste an hour a day having a reading the paper after lunch.
He was blue collar though.
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| d_Verge |
| I was on the bowl at work one day, and my boss came in to take a leak. I knew it was him, because I recognized his shoes from underneath the stall(the urinal is adjacent to the stall). As he pissed, he let out when of the loudest, longest farts, along with a major sigh of relief. I don't know if he didn't realized someone else was in the bathroom, or simply didn't care, but I now feel closer to him than he'll ever know. |
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| FuzzQi |
There's at least one person in my building who has a case of explosive every day. I am being observant and gradually narrowing down who it is.
Same story at uni, but there it's worth doing a bit of exploration and finding a hardly-used bathroom. |
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| infinity HiGH |
| I love taking s at work. It's like an additional break. |
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| Adam420 |
Honestly though, there are two office washroom-related offenses that that are far worse and have not yet been mentioned. Believe it or not, this is something that I have experienced on multiple occasions at my previous job:
1. Leaving piss all over the toilet seat (incomprehensible to me, why would anybody even piss with the seat down? I mean I get not wanting to touch it, but why can't you just give it the old kick?)
2. Get ready for it....not washing hands after taking a . Yes, there were several people at my office (women included, so I was told) that were known to not wash their hands after taking a . This is just plain embarrassing. I don't know how anybody can do that yet still be comfortable with themselves. There have been a few occasions where I was out of the house and took a , and I dreaded the possibility of not having any soap (let's just say they were at friends' houses whom don't exactly shop for toiletries as often as they should). Luckily there always ended up being some soap around or at the very worse case one time I had to use hand sanitizer. I mean I felt so dirty after that time I had to do with the hand sanitizer, I can't imagine what it's like not cleaning your hands at all!
and this
| quote: | Originally posted by infinity HiGH
I love taking s at work. It's like an additional break. |
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| trancypantzzz |
I am shy and cannot take a with people in the bathroom, and what I hate is working at a place where there are a bunch of people and a tiny bathroom. The tiny bathroom also makes it worse because everyone has to smell like they are in your ass.
I did work at this one place that had an excellent bathroom that was dimly lit, had urinal walls, and a ton of stalls. On top of that, it was hardly occupied with more than one of two people. |
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| Esiotrat |
| quote: | | Menzoid's Office Bathroom Etiquette 101 By The Menzoid When it comes to bathroom etiquette in the workplace, “To pee or not to pee” is NOT the question. No, with apologies to the immortal bard, from an olfactory and time management perspective, urination in this day and age of copious consumption of bottled water is necessary and quite acceptable. And unless one has consumed a bushel basket of asparagus, pee tends to be scent-free. Alas and alack, the same cannot be said for that other, far more offensive solid waste product (The Menzoid doesn’t even dare utter its name.). Even so, this repulsive refuse is something that should never be deposited in the workplace toilet under any circumstances. By way of background, for the past few months, The Menzoid has abandoned his home-office and is currently working at an office-office during most weekdays. The Menzoid enjoys the camaraderie of his co-workers and the water cooler gossip and the occasional staff pizza day. But the Menzoid was shocked – no, make that horrified – to discover that some of his work mates were actually using the office bathroom for the nefarious Number Two. What would Emily Post say? Probably, “Ewww…!” After all, surely no gentleman or lady in the workplace environment would ever dream of using an office loo for such a vile visitation. For starters, taking care of such a loathsome bodily function is time intensive, and to monopolize the bathroom for 10, 15 or even 25 minutes is just not right. But the far more grave sin is that which is left behind, long after the American Standard has been flushed and the hands have been washed. Namely, a repugnant scent that is gag-inducing. As well, how does one possibly save face after making such a despicable delivery? The other day, a coworker who shall remain nameless, exited the loo just as The Menzoid was walking in. The ferocious fragrance that assaulted The Menzoid’s olfactory organ was akin to receiving a Mike Tyson punch to the solar plexus. The Menzoid tried to smile as he delivered the obligatory, “Hi, how’s it going?” but The Menzoid’s face was imploding faster than an empty Coke can being sat on by Oprah Winfrey. The visit to the loo would’ve proven gasp-inducing even for a flatulent skunk. For a moment, The Menzoid felt as though he was going to retch – but being a gentleman, The Menzoid would never dream of vomiting in a workplace setting either. Obviously, someone else experienced The Menzoid’s pain, for the very next day, an Air Wick Max had been purchased. This little gizmo dispenses time-released spurts of a lavender-scented mist. Alas, while there was obviously good intentions behind the procurement of such technology, in a hermetically-sealed office bathroom with a single window to crack open, the net effect of such canned spray is the scent of you-know-what mingling with a hint of mint. Not nice. So, what is am office worker to do if one needs to “drop the bomb?” Simple. The Menzoid joined a nearby fitness club. Forget about free weights an cardio equipment; The Menzoid exclusively uses the gym for its toilet facilities. It’s only a six-minute drive away from the office, and if time permits, The Menzoid even partakes in a post-game shower, so as to get that spic-and-span European bidet experience. If one doesn’t have the money or time for a gym membership, here are your options: you grin and bear it until you get home. Or you leave a portable camping kit in your car and will allow you to do your dastardly business in the parking lot, far away from your colleagues’ noses. There is one other option: The Menzoid asked Lady Menzoid if she does her nasty business at her workplace. To my horror, she said, “When you gotta go, you gotta go – and believe me, I go.” That would’ve been grounds for divorce had Lady Menzoid not offered a side note. Since she works for a company that sells First-Aid and safety supplies, one item in the inventory is gas masks. As a joke, there’s always a gas mask on display beside the sink at the office bathroom. But for The Menzoid, this is no joke – this is an epiphany. You see, for those putrid persons who are selfish enough to foul the workplace environment with their evil essences, The Menzoid proposes that a bylaw should be enacted that would require all office building bathrooms to be equipped with gas masks or aspirators. (Incidentally, Lady Menzoid can give you a bulk discount – nobody beats Lady Menzoid’s prices, NOOOOOO-BODY.) In the meantime, for all those who are thinking of desecrating the workplace environment with Number Two, think again. To paraphrase that great philosopher king Hulk Hogan: Roses are red; Violets are blue; Gotta use the bathroom? Dontcha dare poo…! |
I once spent a year on the CORe... it was while reading this article. |
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| ziptnf |
| I usually go to one of the floors in the office building that have fewer employees around the restroom. The basement has a nice bathroom that never gets used :D |
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| The17sss |
| quote: | Originally posted by ziptnf
I usually go to one of the floors in the office building that have fewer employees around the restroom. The basement has a nice bathroom that never gets used :D |
I like your style. I used to do that at the FSU library... I'd creep up to the 3rd level where it was virtually vacant, and have a bathroom all to myself. I HATE ting if someone else is in the bathroom too. One time, when I thought I had my relaxing solitude up there, some guy walked in right before I dropped anchor; I assume he had the same strategy as me. He sat in the stall next to me. We both knew we were there, but neither of us made a sound. It was ing dead silent. I didn't want to make the first move, and neither did he, so it turned into an old fashioned Chinese stand-off.
I waited that motherfucker out for 15-20 minutes until he accepted defeat, pulled up his pants, and left the bathroom without so much as a fart. I was pretty proud of my persistence, and proceeded to take one of the best s of my life. :p |
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| trancypantzzz |
| quote: | Originally posted by The17sss
I like your style. I used to do that at the FSU library... I'd creep up to the 3rd level where it was virtually vacant, and have a bathroom all to myself. I HATE ting if someone else is in the bathroom too. One time, when I thought I had my relaxing solitude up there, some guy walked in right before I dropped anchor; I assume he had the same strategy as me. He sat in the stall next to me. We both knew we were there, but neither of us made a sound. It was ing dead silent. I didn't want to make the first move, and neither did he, so it turned into an old fashioned Chinese stand-off.
I waited that motherfucker out for 15-20 minutes until he accepted defeat, pulled up his pants, and left the bathroom without so much as a fart. I was pretty proud of my persistence, and proceeded to take one of the best s of my life. :p |
now that i think of it, an mp3 player is good in these situations if time is an issue. |
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| ziptnf |
:stongue:
Outstanding. Usually the people in my office are courteous enough to find an unoccupied restroom if they need to take the Browns to the Superbowl. Even one occupied stall is far too many. |
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| Adam420 |
| quote: | Originally posted by ziptnf
take the Browns to the Superbowl |
Money right there:haha: |
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