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Crappy roommates (pg. 7)
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| Zyklon_Jay |
| dammit i was talking to pole booth willy. |
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| Omega_Blue |
Lo stu, awesome stories. Mine are not as interesting.
When I first moved out, I moved with a couple of high school friends into one of the guy's house. His mom moved to a different city and rented out the old house to us. Dude was a nasty slob and stole a bag and 20 bucks from me when I was sorta-slangin' the green. Ended up jacking him in the face, and the dude ended up yelling and whining but not laying a finger on me.
I also had a band at one time before moving to milwaukee; made the mistake of moving in with the drummer, who I had never really liked, but at the time, as far as I knew we were the only decent guitarist/drummers in the area so we kinda had to just deal with it. So he ended up losing his job a month after building himself a new house, and basically went on a coke and liquor binge (which I had also participated in) until he had a nervous breakdown and lost his house. Good times.
I at one time lived with d-res and another childhood friend a few years ago.. the childhood friend ended up being a huge drunk; i'd wake up for my first shift job at 430am and he would be up in the living room playing tecmo super bowl 3 with 30 empty beer cans stacked on the coffee table.. daily.. for at least 3 months. Those days were great though- I miss that era of my life. Lucid and glass (not an active ta anymore) both lived about 5 minutes away from us in either direction, so our weekends were always a ton of fun. , 2006-2008 was so much easier than life now. |
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| D-res |
I had a roommate at the flat before the one I'm at now that had anger and obsessive-compulsive issues. I tried to be sympathetic and patient with him, but in' A he was hard to live with. The whole house was hardwood floors or tiles and he was the only person that didn't take his shoes off upon entering. In fact, it seemed he would put his shoes on first thing in the morning. I wouldn't be surprised if he slept with them on. And he tied them tight. Maybe that's where some of his anger originated. But the guy would wake up earlier than myself or my other roommate on average and you'd hear in clip-clopping around the house. He'd get stoned and then pace to and fro. To and fro. For several minutes at a time, in his own zoned-out mind, pondering what was likely some inane babble, he'd just pace around the house. But waking up to his perpetually shoed ass trouncing about the house was the least of his annoying tendencies.
The kid talked before moving in with us that he'd be the obsessively-clean one cleaning up after our (myself and out other roommate - who'm I've rented with for several years and is a close friend) lazy asses. We looked forward to the prospect of being even more lazy and letting him pick up and arrange to his OCD induced liking. We learned quickly that getting baked from the moment he woke up until the time he went to sleep got in the way of all this cleaning up. He would leave used dishes and silverware out for days - and not just on the coffee table in the living room, but on the couch cushions themselves, or the rug near where his feet would have been the night before while he was playing, obsessively of course, GTA4 online, or World at War, or Fallout 3, or Oblivion, or whatever he was addicted to at the time. And he'd contribute with valor to our pile of dirty dishes. He would use three different butter knives to make three different PB&J sandwiches in one day, leaving each knife out to get stuck to whatever it was left on/near. His used tissues or paper towel sheets would often accompany the stranded silverware or dish piece, and sometimes be all by itself, left without regard for days at a time on the couch. Never mind the 15 foot walk (or throw) to the garbage can.
I awoke on several occasions to "! ! , COCKSUCKING MOTHER ! !" followed by a few peaceful moments of silence in which I was nearly lulled back to sleep when all of a sudden, "GOD DAMN MOTHER ING CUNT! ! !" He was playing video games online. And losing. He'd go on like this for hours. Remember he would wake up, on average, hours earlier than myself or my roommate bothered getting up. On a couple occasions I'd hear repeated banging, so loud it sounded like bodies just hitting the floor over and over. He'd be stomping his playstation controller into smithereens. I found the pulverized remains of multiple playstation controllers all over the house.
Yelling at him did nothing. He'd get just as pissed, mock you back with "hahah I'm *whoever* I'm so perfect" blah blah blah.
He also had a friend he envied who lives in San Fancisco, and this kid (my roommate, not san fran dude), who was broke all the time and a right pothead, would do anything this guy on the west coast would tell him. He pretended to be high class, spending his few pennies on expensive clothes, a very nice racing road bike, and weed. The bike was from craigslist, and found by his San Fran friend as a "worthy" bike to purchase. So he did. His friend then said something along the lines of "you're a noob if you have a water bottle holder. Here in San Fran, people laugh at bikers with water-bottle holders." A spurious claim, but one I'll grant him having never lived anywhere near the west coast. My roommate promptly removed his water bottle holder, and then let the bike sit in the living room, in the direct path of foot-traffic, for the better part of 8 months. He rode it... maybe five times.
These were the fruits of his financial aid loans. Along with a "full bar." Which was him going to the local liquor outlet and dropping several hundred dollars on every type of liquor, liqueur, mixer, etc. He spent the next couple months getting wasted all the time, failing out of his LAST ING SEMESTER in uni - he did return and complete his degree eventually - and getting a couple DUIs.
Whenever I feel down about my own goals, life-path, accomplishments or lack thereof, I remember him. And I don't feel so bad after all.
btw I'm not talking about Nate, for those of you that know myself and Mr. Blue lived together. Juicy stories about that son of a bitch are sure to come though. :gsmile:
FAO NATE: you said azns didn't like being called "oriental" so I passed this piece of yellow wisdom on to other folks and they've come back with "I talked to an oriental person and they said they didn't care"
One of these people is Tony percs. And he talked to the vietnamese nail people next to your apt. Maybe that makes a difference. |
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| Omega_Blue |
Lol the bar. Oh man how could I forget. Nothig like spending hundreds of dollars on cheap middle-of-the-road liquor and then not want to share it. I remember him mentioning how great his liquor collection was for mixing drinks for "all of his friends"- "did you buy vermouth?" "No.." "grenadine?" "No..." "sour mix?" Etc... it's like, dude,. The only thing you know how to or could possibly mix are in simple screwdrivers, jaeger-bombs, and rum and cokes, and he was still missing OJ, red bull, and coke. Lol. The bottle of smirnoff and cuervo wasn't impressing anybody.
And the oxy guy is black, dude, and if the only people he asked were those lao people who can barely speak english, he's asking the wrong people. I suppose asian-americans are more prone to be offended. Or at least the asians who can speak english. |
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| D-res |
| quote: | Originally posted by Omega_Blue
Lol the bar. Oh man how could I forget. Nothig like spending hundreds of dollars on cheap middle-of-the-road liquor and then not want to share it. I remember him mentioning how great his liquor collection was for mixing drinks for "all of his friends"- "did you buy vermouth?" "No.." "grenadine?" "No..." "sour mix?" Etc... it's like, dude,. The only thing you know how to or could possibly mix are in simple screwdrivers, jaeger-bombs, and rum and cokes, and he was still missing OJ, red bull, and coke. Lol. The bottle of smirnoff and cuervo wasn't impressing anybody.
And the oxy guy is black, dude, and if the only people he asked were those lao people who can barely speak english, he's asking the wrong people. I suppose asian-americans are more prone to be offended. Or at least the asians who can speak english. |
he's like half black, half puerto rican. I'd barely call him black, although he can say "nigga" around black people so he passes the test. And they aren't lao. It's a vietnamese nail place. IT's called ing vietnamese nail or some . And they all drive BMWs and Benz's. When's the last time you saw a ing Laotion-American driving a nice car? |
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| Omega_Blue |
| quote: | Originally posted by D-res
he's like half black, half puerto rican. I'd barely call him black, although he can say "nigga" around black people so he passes the test. And they aren't lao. It's a vietnamese nail place. IT's called ing vietnamese nail or some . And they all drive BMWs and Benz's. When's the last time you saw a ing Laotion-American driving a nice car? |
Well his cousin is black-black. Lol. And come to think of it, I've never seen ay far east asian in milwaukee with a nice car. Meh. Point remains valid. Don't use "oriental." Lol. |
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| iclone |
| my first college roommate would get so drunk that she'd piss her bed after passing out. she was also too lazy to do laundry, so she'd flip the mattress over and repeat. |
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| Tasty Onions |
| quote: | Originally posted by iclone
my first college roommate would get so drunk that she'd piss her bed after passing out. she was also too lazy to do laundry, so she'd flip the mattress over and repeat. |
Wow.  |
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| iclone |
| quote: | Originally posted by Banora
Haha. My roomie took some stuff while we were down in Miami and forgot she was human. She said her feet and hands turned into lizard feet and hands, and she went to the bathroom where it was dark and damp to 'live like the other lizards'.
:wtf: |
| quote: | Originally posted by Renzo
Whoa, Nicole is weird. |
wasn't me. :wtf: i was busy watching pixelated gardens grow on brick walls and darth maul DJ at the electric pickle. |
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| gmilf |
| I used to always keep an empty Gatorade bottle next to my bed, but girlfriends seem to hate-on a man that is too lazy to walk to the bathroom during the middle of the night. |
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| igottaknow |
| quote: | Originally posted by gmilf
I used to always keep an empty Gatorade bottle next to my bed, but girlfriends seem to hate-on a man that is too lazy to walk to the bathroom during the middle of the night. |
:wtf:
you might as well wear diapers |
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| gmilf |
| quote: | Originally posted by igottaknow
:wtf:
you might as well wear diapers |
I feel like women have taught me to act civil. But, the old ways made so much more sense. I drink a lot of liquids and I get up at least 1 time a night to piss, it's quite annoying.
Thought of another bad roommate
Sophomore year one of my roommates had a bad reaction to some steroids he was on to build up for the football season. And, for about 3 months he was a complete douche. We borrowed a DVD from his room not thinking it was a big deal but it turned out that he had a lot of Gay porn in there too and since he wasn't "out" he got pissed and ran me straight through a wall and into the next wall that was concrete. I don't know how it didn't hurt more since I am a complete pansy when it comes to pain but I think I was just impressed that we had a borne identity style fight before I got free and ran away. We already signed the next years lease with him so we all just avoided him like the plague. But, after chilling out he was actually a really nice guy. |
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