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Women, can't live with them, can't live without them.
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| OrangestO |
As a first-timer in a serious relationship - just passed the two and a half year mark - I sometimes wonder about what the limits of the relationship are.
How many arguments are too many?
If you learn from and build upon them does it matter?
Is there a way to evaluate your relationship?
It's crazy how good or bad the times can be sometimes. We always seem to pull through and get stronger with every experience, though. Sometimes I feel like we've done this for too long and in the blink of an eye I'm happy as can be. It's the biggest and most rewarding test a person can have, especially when you put 110 percent into it. But sometimes it downright sucks.
Ya dig? |
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| tubularbills |
I can't stand seeing couples that continuously argue....seriously are they getting off on it or what? If you're constantly at odds with the other person and you can't see eye to eye on the simplest like what to have for dinner, then maybe you should just part ways!
Can you count how many serious arguments you've had? (not just pissy like dinner or what color to paint the bathroom, i mean real-life stuff). To me, if you've been in a relationship for 2.5 years and you can count those kind of arguments on one hand, you're doin pretty good.
what was the lesson learned from an argument? was it "oh , i should just never bring this up again" then, you haven't learned anything at all.
I'm not saying you did any of this stuff, it's just what I think about with relationships. |
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| OrangestO |
We don't argue about dumb unless it's that time of the month for her. I think we're doing pretty good considering the circumstances, but I'm always curious about other people's experiences in longterm relationships. A few months is a few months, but once you start racking up years it's hard to just walk way.
I waited a long time to get serious with someone, so a lot of the stuff I dealt with in the first year was brand new to me. Instead of fighting more, we fight less, as time goes on. But that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. And by learning from it, I mean listening to one another and taking a lesson from it into the future. Yelling at each other and ignoring the problem gets you no where. I think there's good and bad arguments in relationships. Or better yet, healthy and unhealthy. if I know, though. |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by OrangestO
How many arguments are too many? |
If they seriously bother you, then they're definitely too many.
| quote: | Originally posted by OrangestO
If you learn from and build upon them does it matter? |
Of course. Arguing over the same things is pointless.
| quote: | Originally posted by OrangestO
Is there a way to evaluate your relationship? |
Yes. Do you like her enough to keep investing in this relationship, or would you rather let her go? |
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| tubularbills |
| quote: | Originally posted by OrangestO
We don't argue about dumb unless it's that time of the month for her. I think we're doing pretty good considering the circumstances, but I'm always curious about other people's experiences in longterm relationships. A few months is a few months, but once you start racking up years it's hard to just walk way.
I waited a long time to get serious with someone, so a lot of the stuff I dealt with in the first year was brand new to me. Instead of fighting more, we fight less, as time goes on. But that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. And by learning from it, I mean listening to one another and taking a lesson from it into the future. Yelling at each other and ignoring the problem gets you no where. I think there's good and bad arguments in relationships. Or better yet, healthy and unhealthy. if I know, though. |
Truth. I've just hit the three year mark and I can tell you that we've only had 2 real bad arguments. But it's all about how much you put into it. If you really care about the person, and they care as equally back, then you'll just grow together over time. It's a cool feeling. |
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| Sushipunk |
| I've been with my fiancee for 9 years now. We've had some pretty kick-ass fights, lol. Stuff the neighbours would have easily been able to hear even if we were inside :stongue: As a general rule though, we don't let ourselves go to bed angry, it's always sorted one way or another before bedtime, and I think that's a good thing. We hardly ever fight about the small unless it's PMS time of the month, she gets it pretty hardcore sometimes, what can you do? |
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| Sushipunk |
| quote: | Originally posted by tubularbills
I've just hit the three year mark |
I had no idea you were in a relationship, Will :wtf: |
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| tubularbills |
| quote: | Originally posted by Sushipunk
it's PMS time of the month, she gets it pretty hardcore sometimes, what can you do? |
date a dude? |
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| tubularbills |
| quote: | Originally posted by Sushipunk
I had no idea you were in a relationship, Will :wtf: |
No one really does :p |
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| Sushipunk |
| quote: | Originally posted by tubularbills
No one really does :p |
Yeah, I've never once seen you talk about it. Well, congrats on 3 years anyway :) |
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| tubularbills |
thanks. and I can honestly say I can't imagine you getting into a roaring fight with your fiance....let alone anyone :wtf: lol
edit
except chola |
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| Lira |
| quote: | Originally posted by tubularbills
thanks. and I can honestly say I can't imagine you getting into a roaring fight with your fiance....let alone anyone :wtf: |
I can. I bet she complains he spends too much time looking at other birds.
Edit: Or maybe their fights are much like ours. In a nasty fight, she yells and I sit there like a therapist trying to understand what wound her up. I must've raised my voice 2 or 3 times in almost 9 years. |
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