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so i'm suppose to beat off for the rest of my life? (pg. 6)
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| Lagrangian |
| quote: | Originally posted by Dykes_on_Jay
I make no qualms or attempt to hide my masturbation from my wife.
I will literally pop a vig, smoke a bowl, announce to the wife and nanny that they are not to bother me for 3 hours for my "da fei ji" time (Mandarin for jerking off, literally translates to "shoot the plane".)
The first time the nanny heard this she was like wtf? I had to explain that men have desires, and if they are not met, i will be knee deep in chickens (Chinese euphemism for hookers) and not be able to pay her.
She avoided me for 2 days, now she chuckles when i lock the door. I like to jokingly chase her around with my cum caked hands while screaming, "Ebola! Ebola!".
Jerking off has never been so fun. Once the kitty mill closes, I find myself eye-ing everything. Need to release the beast. |
God you are just like my boyfriend. |
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| Intellekshual |
I don't understand what the big deal is. To be so insecure as to not allow your partner to indulge in a bit of singular pleasure.
I would assume it would mostly be an issue if it affected the sexual relations between two partners in terms of decreased activity. |
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| Zoso |
| I find the older I get (38 next month), the less appealing it is. It's too much like goddamned work. It's: hand...or . every time. Now, that doesn't mean is just going to show up and avail itself. But, if it does, hey...bonus! If it doesn't, proceed with the day as planned. |
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| Silky Johnson |
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| Zoso |
| quote: | | [i][b]Originally posted by Silky Johnson |
This goes in teh hand? |
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| Silky Johnson |
| In your hand, all over your genitals, whichever you prefer. Astroglide is the . |
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| Zoso |
| quote: | Originally posted by Silky Johnson
In your hand, all over your genitals, whichever you prefer. Astroglide is the . |
There's an anal joke in there somewhere, I'm sure of it! ;-) |
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| Joss Weatherby |
| quote: | Originally posted by Silky Johnson
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I've actually never used astroglide or even been around it or known anyone that uses it despite it being pretty much a cliche at this point. Strange.
There is a sex shop here that has a fairly big online presence and have their own water based lube. I've been a fan of that for years. It tastes like nothing which is a big bonus. I bought... Liquid Silk I think once? That stuff made me gag the first time it ever came in contact with my tongue. :nervous:
Never again.
On a semi-related note I once ate a packet of cherry lube on the bus during high school on a dare. Tasted pretty good. :stongue: |
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| Silky Johnson |
Astroglide really is the best lubricant. It doesn't get all sticky and nasty like most lubricants. Great for handjobs....and other stuff.
What the are you tasting/eating lube for??? |
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| Joss Weatherby |
| quote: | Originally posted by Silky Johnson
Astroglide really is the best lubricant. It doesn't get all sticky and nasty like most lubricants. Great for handjobs....and other stuff.
What the are you tasting/eating lube for??? |
Um. Use your imagination?
Is astroglide a oil based one? Yea the thing I don't like about water based lubricants is that if there isn't any constant moisture (which isn't normally a problem in most cases) it gets sticky and gross quickly, especially on your hands... |
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| Silky Johnson |
I'm pretty sure it's water based.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the implication you're making is that you need it for dry vaginas. Well I'm not surprised vaginas dry up in your presence. Lololololol. |
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