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How Do I Get Her Back? (pg. 4)
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| Endo |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
Please tell me you're a girl.
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Actually no.
And yes I do agree with you about giving her space and time, as I did say not to cling to her. I find that if shes not up for talking with you about how she feels and rather wants to play these games, then shes not worth it.
But then again these are just my "feminist" opinions :rolleyes: |
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| ahlamalek |
| did you break up with her? if not, do it now and don't be gentle. |
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| LiquidX |
| quote: | Originally posted by DJ Sunburn
So I've been in a relationship for a year now with a girl I love more than anything.
We've been through our ups and downs, but we've had so many good moments that just couldn't ever be replaced.
She's the type of girl that never leaned too much on other people. Just me. She loved the attention I gave her, and love. She never liked girls very much, because of the numerous amount of backstabs they have done to her. So she focused more on guy friends.
Two weeks ago she decided she wanted some space so I gave it to her. She didn't have anybody else she was really interested in. She just wanted to boot old habits we had in our relationship (talking on the phone too much) etc...
But a few days later, she met a guy named Ben. She allowed him to come over to her house and stuff and they chilled. Of course, I didn't like this very much.
Ben is head over heals for Christina. Which is odd considering they just met. He tells her he loves her, gives her flowers, cards, and roses. He takes her places. He's real nice.
BUT HE JUST MET HER! And looking through his online journal, it's easy to say that he's this way with every girl he friggin meets!
There's another guy that takes her home in the afternoon from school. His name's Michael. Every day they hang out after school.
Christina used to be all over me and adored me all the time. But this change in her happened so fast where it seems like she just doesn't care anymore. She's got this new freedom.
And she's the type of person that would get mad if I hung out with other girls.
I miss her terribly. She's always hanging out with her new friends, and I want my relationship back with her! She used to be the most loving person towards me. And now she tells me about how she enjoys cuddling with her new guy friends and such and its just a slap in the face to me. argh....
This is not her at all! I don't see how she could hurt me like this!
What do I do? I want her back!!! |
LoL bro, I feel as if you are my soulmate speaking. Let me tell ya.
Ive been going out with this girl for almost 2yrs. Im now attending college and working every day. Theres barely any time for us to see each other since she goes to school and worked as well, besides been the president of some clubs and such. All of the sudden, she was like I barely do anything to see her and started to like make up stuff, so she was like, lets brake up, and change a bit. Change the way the relationship was going and stuff, she said she likes changes and that she dont like monotone stuff. I was always open for conversation.. and thats the last thing we talked.. after that, she's been so darn cold with me, tells people that we broke up ( whoever asks about us ).. and stuff like that. Thursday I called her, to tell her that I love her so much and stuff like that. As we were about to hang up, she was like, " Tomorrow Im going to the beach, play volley, movies, and bunch of things. " I was like, with who?!?!.. and she's like, ok byeee.. IM like, thats the way your leaving right?.. and she answered.. yeah. bye... I was like, Oohhh what a Bitch, go to hell. ( Ofcourse I didnt tell her that . ). Anyways, Im 100% sure it was her friends who have influenced her someway, and all those guys after her ( theres quite a few after her )... and I wont lie, they are the good looking ones that all the girls drool all over, so Im more then pissed, but probably she wants that freedom to enjoy it with them, the senior year.. right.. Im damm hurt but hey, she acted like a bitch with me, and if she hangs out with that group that she is hanging out with ( i know that group ).. Im sorry to say that she'll be turned into a hoe or something, something that she wasent when she went out with me.. its sad and it hurts.
In your situation, I dont know what to do, I would just be so mad if some guy would go to my g/fs house and have them by themselves.. thats like, open your eyes at least men. Dont be treated like that, and hang out with girls also.. see how she would act. You be like, Ok, dont talk to those guys, and I wont talk to this girls.. and talk to her about working things out, if not, dont worry.. you didnt loose anything. |
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| Orbax |
| I would beat the out of the other guys for encroaching on my staked territory, and then disappear, because the land, once fertile, is now sewn with mistrust and deceit. Salt the land and move on. |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by SuperFarStucker
Sorry, normally I agree with you DigiNut, but there is no way of getting around "Don't take relationship advice from women" being sexist. Are you saying there is such a fundamentally disposed difference between men and women that they are unable to offer even the slightest bit of useful advice as to relationships? I'd say you're wrong, I'm not saying there isn't [obvious] psychological differences between men and women which makes there advice "different", but it isn't necessarily bad (unless they are giving advice with an agenda to push, but the same thing goes with us men in that respect). Having multiple perspectives on a situation is a good thing, at least I always thought? |
Yeah, I understand where you're coming from, but in all honesty, you need only look at the results from various female "love doctors" out there to see what I'm talking about. These are the so-called "experts" on the subject, and their advice is horrible, and a lot of innocent guys screw up their relationships even more by following it.
Example of crappy advice:
http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclov...hip_expert.html
(love that site)
In a sense, I suppose it's possible that women would be worse off to take relationship advice from men as well... but since I've never once seen a girl ask a guy for help in a relationship, I can't say that with any certainty.
So does that mean that no woman can ever give good advice? No, I suppose not, some can, but few do, and yes, men are plenty capable of giving bad advice too (look at LiquidX below). Someone said that women are the ones that "play those games" so they'll know how to handle it - the problem is, they don't realize they're playing them. And if you're a girl and you know that you're playing them, then shame on you, because that would make you a total bitch, the only point of innocence is the unawareness.
People think that women are more apt to give advice, but the fact is, no girl (aside from lesbians I suppose) has ever been there and had to deal with a relationship with another woman, so how could you reasonably expect them to give good advice? I'm not saying women are dumb, but only men (again, excluding lesbians) have actually had any experience to speak of. Come on, I'm not being sexist, I'm being realistic!
| quote: | Originally posted by LiquidX
All of the sudden, she was like I barely do anything to see her and started to like make up stuff, so she was like, lets brake up, and change a bit. Change the way the relationship was going and stuff, she said she likes changes and that she dont like monotone stuff. I was always open for conversation.. and thats the last thing we talked.. after that, she's been so darn cold with me, tells people that we broke up ( whoever asks about us ).. and stuff like that. Thursday I called her, to tell her that I love her so much and stuff like that. As we were about to hang up, she was like, " Tomorrow Im going to the beach, play volley, movies, and bunch of things. " I was like, with who?!?!.. and she's like, ok byeee.. IM like, thats the way your leaving right?.. and she answered.. yeah. bye... I was like, Oohhh what a Bitch, go to hell. ( Ofcourse I didnt tell her that . ). Anyways, Im 100% sure it was her friends who have influenced her someway, and all those guys after her ( theres quite a few after her )... and I wont lie, they are the good looking ones that all the girls drool all over, so Im more then pissed, but probably she wants that freedom to enjoy it with them, the senior year.. right.. |
Desperate. :rolleyes:
How can you, in good conscience, say that she was a bitch and that the breakup was her friends' faults?
How would you feel if a girl you were no longer interested in called you up to tell you how much she still loved you?
Oh and, incidentally, she's absolutely right about the 'change' thing - if a relationship is the same thing day in and day out, it gets stale, what do you expect? No amount of 'talking' is going to get you anywhere in that situation, you have to act, you don't ask "what do you want me to change" because that's pathetic, you have to do your own dirty work and come up with wacky new things to do. |
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| N|te-L|fe |
| Be an ... girls dig s |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by N|te-L|fe
Be an ... girls dig s |
See, that's why I don't like people calling me sexist. Do I ever say things like this? No.
I've never tried to imply that women are stupid or catty. I've never said they like s. In fact, I really don't think I've said anything misogynistic or vindictive whatsoever. I'm simply pointing out some of the misconceptions and terrible advice out there.
Women are NOT evil, but guys have just gotta understand that doting on them and constantly feeding their egos isn't the way to make a relationship work. And more importantly than anything else, people have gotta learn to see when it's time to throw in the towel! |
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| Echo of Silence |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
And more importantly than anything else, people have gotta learn to see when it's time to throw in the towel! |
Word. |
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| N|te-L|fe |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
See, that's why I don't like people calling me sexist. Do I ever say things like this? No.
I've never tried to imply that women are stupid or catty. I've never said they like s. In fact, I really don't think I've said anything misogynistic or vindictive whatsoever. I'm simply pointing out some of the misconceptions and terrible advice out there.
Women are NOT evil, but guys have just gotta understand that doting on them and constantly feeding their egos isn't the way to make a relationship work. And more importantly than anything else, people have gotta learn to see when it's time to throw in the towel! |
first, what I said was in no way related to what you said, and I'm sorry if I got you confused..
Secondly, I couldnt agree more with your last sentence.. Too many guys change their attitude when they are around women so the cutest of them have theirs egos boosted so much they think they can pick any guy anytime they want... plus they don't even talk much cause they are used at letting the guys do all the talking. Dont get me wrong here a lot of them are very cool, I just can't stand those who look at you from above..
Third, I had no intention of insulting nor diminishing girls in any way. I was just pointing out a FACT. Sorry to burst your bubbles guys, but if there's something I'm pretty sure about and learned with time, is that good guys finish last. Perhaps because kindness is often associated with weakness, and that girls want a strong and confident man but who knows what he wants but can also understand and listen to them. Unfortunately, in most of the cases, these type of "tough guys" tend to act like jerks and don't give the gf the attention they need, some will even cheat or beat up their girls... I may be exagerating and generalising a bit here but you get the point.
What is sad about that is that after a certains amount of unsuccessfull relationships, they wake up and realize that an overconfident bum might not be that suitable for a steady relationship and these same girls come back to us complaining about how we can't be romantic or attentive or etc.. well guess what, they got what they asked for. For this reason I tend to think that girls dont know what they want sometimes and that they complicate things for no reason, but thats just IMO. So there you go, that is why I said girls dig s. |
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| electric_soul |
| hmm another thread that made me realize how feminist I am... |
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| DigiNut |
| quote: | Originally posted by Echo of Silence
Word. |
I should add that throwing in the towel and making a point of telling them that every other day sort of defeats the purpose, if that's your plan.
Anyway, let's look at some more opinions...
| quote: | Originally posted by N|te-L|fe
... if there's something I'm pretty sure about and learned with time, is that good guys finish last. Perhaps because kindness is often associated with weakness... |
Not exactly true. Good guys can win the race too - the trouble is that many desperate guys will confuse their desperation with goodness. Desperate guys ("ARE U HOT?" "PICS OR STFU") will invariably finish last, but being the strong silent type is as good as being a conceited . In actual fact, many desperate guys are not particularly nice, but will claim to be so because it gives them an excuse to continue doing what they do.
| quote: | | ...after a certains amount of unsuccessfull relationships, they wake up and realize that an overconfident bum might not be that suitable for a steady relationship and these same girls come back to us complaining about how we can't be romantic or attentive or etc.. well guess what, they got what they asked for. |
Darn right... this is why I show NO sympathy to girls who treat their nicest guys like crap and complain later on that all men are s. On the other hand, I also show no sympathy to guys who make their desperation blatantly obvious and whine that girls are all bitches. There certainly is equality in relationships, it just presents itself in a surprisingly twisted way.
| quote: | | ...For this reason I tend to think that girls dont know what they want sometimes... |
Bingo. Off-topic, but it always makes my day to hear a girl say that she doesn't care whether a guy has looks, money, or a car, as long as he's got personality. What a larf. Only exception to the rule is criminals, who must have some novelty appeal or something. |
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| LiquidX |
| quote: | Originally posted by DigiNut
See, that's why I don't like people calling me sexist. Do I ever say things like this? No.
I've never tried to imply that women are stupid or catty. I've never said they like s. In fact, I really don't think I've said anything misogynistic or vindictive whatsoever. I'm simply pointing out some of the misconceptions and terrible advice out there.
Women are NOT evil, but guys have just gotta understand that doting on them and constantly feeding their egos isn't the way to make a relationship work. And more importantly than anything else, people have gotta learn to see when it's time to throw in the towel! |
They like to be treated dirty, then thats what they'll get. From my experience, the worst I treat them, the more the look after me, or want me. The harder you are on girls, the better.. it works, and thats how it is. And yes, she said change, but we the first time she comments me and we are about to go for that change, she acts all bitchy.. but w/e. I have a feeling that she'll come back to me. As of now, Im meeting so many hot chicks you cant believe, sadly though, I cant stop thinking of her. |
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